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03/29/2012 09:03 PM

New to Fibro-Have family-Don't know how to accept?

mickey719
 
Posts: 7
New Member

Been in Severe pain for years now. My doctors finally agreed to it being Fibromyalgia and Small Fiber Neuropathy. It has been a few months now and my family seems to be used to my limitations. I am having a really hard time trying to accept that I'm probably not going to get much better. Don't know how much of that is really due to my Severe Depression. My Rheumotlogist thought I would be 75% better now that I have been on meds for a while now. I've given up on him after trying a couple different meds. Went back to my pain specialist not knowing what else to do/try. I feel guilty for not doing much housework or being able to really participate in much. I feel like I am holding them all back. My youngest, 9, really doesn't understand. My teen boys pretty much get it and don't complain. It seems so incredibly hard to get through the day, try to clean house a little, then be a mom when they all get home from school. I haven't been able to work in about 4 years now. If anyone out there has any suggestions on how to accept and deal with life without feeling guilty for what I have, and can do. I would love to hear them. Please Help I am desperate for ideas. Thank you for reading and hopefully you leave suggestions.
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03/29/2012 09:39 PM
ushie
 
Posts: 1928
Senior Member

Hi, I'm sorry you feel badly. Are you being treated for depresion? I do remind you that Fibro is not your fault. You did not ask for it, and it is not a judgment against you. It's a disorder that can be difficult to deal with, but it can be treated to varying extents. There are Depression groups here, and we also talk about depression and other feelings in our group. Please ask, vent, look around, and welcome!

03/29/2012 10:31 PM
MoiraWolf
MoiraWolf  
Posts: 3416
Senior Member

Ugh! I made a big long post welcoming you and giving some advice and instead of "submit" I hit "subscribe to this discussion" and lost the whole thing!

And I'm too tired to retype all of it! Suffice it to say, Welcome to the Fibro family. We're great people and you're allowed and encouraged to vent, rant, rave, joke, laugh, and love here. No one judges.

And be patient with your docs. Everyone here is on a different cocktail of meds because what works for one, won't work for another. It takes time to figure it all out. In the mean time, go easy on yourself, and don't push too hard. As Ushie says, no one here judges, and we all have the same thing. As depression and anxiety disorders go hand-in-hand with Fibro, you may need treatment for that as well. I have the guilt too, it's important to learn to pace yourself, don't try to do too much on days you feel good or you'll pay for it later. Luckily my daughter's grown and gone, so I only have the hubby and I, no kids!

Take care, rest, and welcome!


03/29/2012 11:18 PM
DanaW
DanaW  
Posts: 2222
Senior Member

Hi Mickey, welcome to the group. As Mo said, everyone here is very understanding. Since joining I've felt alot better about my situation just because I know I'm not alone in it. I have depression too, some days it is overwhelming and I just cry all day. My doc just raised my Lexapro to alleviate some of that and it seems to be helping. I am not crying all day but I still feel the loss of my "previous" life. It seems like everything continues to move along while I sit by and watch.

I guess I'm stuck on the acceptance stage...so I do know how you are feeling. I'm sure you will get some great feedback on here and I hope you come back and join in some of the other discussions!

Dana


03/30/2012 10:08 AM
mickey719
 
Posts: 7
New Member

Thank you for the encouragement. I have been trying to get my depression under control for many years, still is a struggle though. I saw a show the other day and a couple of people with fibro were on it. It amazed me that they were able to have on necklaces, earrings and watches. I barely can stand my clothes on most days. Maybe someday I'll be able to pull out my jewelery again. Cross my fingers. Laughing

03/30/2012 05:47 PM
MoiraWolf
MoiraWolf  
Posts: 3416
Senior Member

Only jewelry I wear is a single necklace (using waxed cotton cord, so no hard chain) and a stainless steel bracelet my grandpaw made and that is the only thing of his I inherited when he passed away. I never take it off, even when showering or scuba diving (not that I get to do a lot of that in the last few years!) They are both so much a part of me, that I don't even notice them anymore, it's like they are just part of me, like my skin is.

But I don't have quite the skin sensitivity that a lot of fibromites have. I do hate certain types of clothes and sweats are definately more comfy than buttons or zippers, but this one bracelet and necklace are just another part of me.


03/30/2012 08:40 PM
DanaW
DanaW  
Posts: 2222
Senior Member

I only wear one ring...I got it a Spamarama in Austin, TX about 20 yrs ago for $10!! I never take it off except to switch fingers when I'm swollen. I love earrings, I have so many of them..lots of Elvis earrings but I can't stand to wear them for more than an hour or so these days. Fortunately, I don't go out to places I need to wear jewelry anymore...

03/30/2012 10:59 PM
ushie
 
Posts: 1928
Senior Member

Sometimes I can wear a couple of rings, and then my skin tries to kill me.

03/30/2012 11:05 PM
DanaW
DanaW  
Posts: 2222
Senior Member

lol ushie...it's not funny but you are!

03/31/2012 06:20 AM
mem1318

Mickey, hope you are having a pain free day. Now that I've said that let me say this. This is not an easy road, but sometimes we can let ourselves get in a stress mood. Some call it depressed. You will have to push yourself. Don't let your body rule you. You will have to rule the body. Oh Ya it is hard, but you take charge. There will be days that you can not hardley get around. That mean rest the mind. But please don't let yourself get into that mode that you do this daily. I'm telling you if you do you will go down. Don't let other folks stress you out. If need be ask them to just leave you along. Things will get better if you try. I hope that I have not said something that offened you. You can do this no matter what anyone say.

BUT I REFUSED TO GO DOWN

Post edited by: Realityworld, at: 03/31/2012 06:22 AM

Post edited by: Realityworld, at: 03/31/2012 06:26 AM

Post edited by: Realityworld, at: 03/31/2012 06:26 AM

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