Fibro Challenges Online Support Group

I joined the other group about a week and a half a go and I relly like it.

My name is Beth and I was diagnosed at the end of February. I am still learning what it is all about but I think I ahve had it for a long time.

I am divorced with a daughter and a cat. I work full time but it's hard to go to work. I'm not sure how long I can keep it up or when they'll get tired of me being sick. I'm really scared though.

I sometimes can't sleep so i come here and read. I just saw this group tonite and I thought it was the same as the other group but I notice I had to join this one too. It's so confusing. Why is there 2?

If Im being too nosy you don't have to answer.

Im usually really shy but for some reason tonite I don't feel very shy. Maybe becuz I been reading so much I feel like Im knowing everyone.

Hi Beth, and welcome to our group. We're glad you have found us.

I understand your fear. Does your employer know about your Fibro? This is always such a touchy area. If he/she doesn't know, only you can decide whether or not it's a good idea to inform them.

If you decide to tell them, it might be a good opportunity to ask for shorter hours, or the chance to work at home. If that is not possible, try asking for more comfortable seating, or the opportunity to take breaks when you need them to get your second, third and fourth wind.

Fibro Challenges is a brand new group. We hope to appeal to anyone who faces challenges with FM, whether it be Fibro sufferers, family members or friends, or anyone who has their own challenge with FM, whatever it might be.

I also know that there are some people who felt a little overwhelmed at the FMS group, by its sheer size alone. This group provides a more intimate setting, if you will, for those who are maybe a bit more shy, or just feel more comfortable in smaller groups.

You're not being nosey at all. In fact, I'm glad you brought up the question. You mentioned that you are usually shy. This might just be the perfect group for you! Of course, you can be a member of both groups - or as many as you like, for that matter.

It is my hope that you will make yourself at home here, and encourage any friends you know that might also like a smaller group, to join us as well. All are welcome here.

{{{hugs}}}

So now Im confused do you want alot of members or do you want to keep it small. I'm not sure, I dont mean to be rude really I just get confused really easy. I made some nice friends in the other group too and I'm not sure if i should invite them.

Welcome InnerNeener,

You have been through alot lately between your divorce and the very recent dx of fibro. I believe alot of people have it for a while before they are dx. That is alot to digest plus having a daughter and dealing with work. Be patient and kind to yourself and get plenty of rest whenever you can.

I don't know what you are doing for work, but if it is becoming to hard talk to your doctor and boss. I am 36 and was a nurse aide for over 10 yrs. I was involved with many things plus I am married with a 16 yr old girl and a 9 year old boy. When it became apparent work was getting 2 hard I requested to go part time, unfortunately I did not have a noce boss and she put me on a LOA indefinately. I went to my pain doc hysterical wondering how I was going to help support my family. My pain doc sat me down and said "Jenn why do you want to work" I said because I was do darn young not to. He said that I was rare, that he has people all the time who ask him to sign off on SSD, when they don't need it. He then said , that then someone like me comes around who really shouldn't be working and I was fighting it. I finally agreed to apply.

Well, by the grace of God, my wonderful doctors and awesome family, I applied and with in 4 months I was approved on my first try. Now I'll tell you, that was pretty rare to get approved the first time. Talk to your doc and see what he says. Because you are a single parent you may be able to get state aid while waiting for your SSD to take effect. I know this is very overwhelming. Come talk to us whnever you get stressed.

As for the other group, I am sure Starr or Roy will answer, but I'll tell you what I know. The origional fibro group grew huge and fast and became very difficult to maintain as it was. So Roy and Alon decided to break it up some by catagories. There is one for men with fibro, Teens with fibro and I think there is others. Having it all lumped together made it difficult for all members because of the different challenges each group faces. Having some group more detailed for certain groups allows all members to get and give all the support you need.

You can still go to the other group as well as here and any other one you wish. I don't think that if someone comes hear with good intentions and comes in the spirit of getting and giving support, that they would be turned away.

I hope I didn't speak out of turn here and hope I got it all right. I look forward to getting to know you and everyone else.

Hugs,

Jenn

Welcome to the group InnerNeener

Thank you Jenn, I haven't really talked to my boss yet. I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it. I have not changed, it's just now I have a name for why I am the way I am. I don't see why my obss needs to know anything yet. Hopefully it wont get worse than it is now and I just plug along like I do. I really need the money. I feel like I'm not ready to say I can't work anymore. I feel like this is not quite real yet. I don't know how to explain it.

Thank you for the welcomes.

Honey, stop worrying about being nosey. I'm glad you're asking questions. That's the best way to learn!

Jenn did a pretty good job of explaining the group situation (an no, you weren't overstepping ).

Like all of the groups on MDJunction, we hope to grow to accomodate as many people as we can, because we know there are so many out there like us who have no place to go.

There are a lot of support groups on MDJunction, but there are very few (like the FMS group) that have just grown by leaps and bounds into now huge memberships. The FMS group is nearly at 2000 members as I type! They have had incredible growth!

In groups that large, it is easy for some to become overwhelmed by the sheer size of the group. As Jenn mentioned, they attempted different branches of the main group to accomodate the men, teens, etc. This worked to some degree, but there were still some who just felt lost in a group that size.

We are tiny in comparison, since we just opened our doors, and no matter how good this group is, it will be a long time before we reach the size by sheer membership alone that the FMS group has achieved.

The FMS group is a wonderful group. Jenn and I and a few others have spent much time there. But here at FC, we can appeal to the ones who felt lost in a large group, we can appeal to anyone with any type of Fibro Challenge, whomever they are, and we can also appeal to new members who may feel intimidated by a large group's member size.

You can join as many groups on MDJunction as you like. There is no limit. Some prefer to belong to just one, others belong to many groups. You may invite anyone you please to this group. In turn, you may also invite any of our members to that group, if you wish.

We are not in competition with FMS, so don't feel pressured or confused, and don't feel like you have a divided sense of loyalty. If you like both groups and want to keep things that way, we are both happy to have you!

Hi InnerNeerer,

I completely understand about learning to accept this dd and how much your life changes. I had a really hard time accepting the changes in my health and being so young. We are here for you, whether it is to answer question, give " virtual" hugs or laugh together. Don't ever forget that.

Hugs,

Jenn

Innerneer I am very new to this group also but every one here has made me feel very welcome. As to your boss Federal Law prohibits him from firing you because you have a disability. You might want to let him know and if you have a copy of the Dr's diagnoses I would take him/her a copy and insist that they put it in your personel file. Starr has a wonderful article on this site that explains FMS beautifully and in terms that we can understand. It has really helped my family to understand what me and my daughter are going thru. My daughter is only 26 and I think it is harder for her to cope because she has been dealing with all of this for 7 years. She never had a chance to be a "teenager".

Hi Innerneener, I saw you in the other group. You are so funny.

I let my employer know about my disabilities right off the bat. Luckily he was a compasionate man. However when he sold the company, the new owner isn't. Everyone was to be in tip top shape healthwise and if you couldn't chip in and do work where you were needed, then you got reprimanded. Three reprimands and you were out. Needless to say, I was out. I've been looking for other employment since but no one wants to hire a broken person.