Empty Nest Syndrome Online Support Group

I belong to the bipolar type 2 forum and just stumbled upon this site. Empty nest syndrome seems to be part of the depression I'm feeling, so I think this is a good place for me.

I'm 51 and have been married for 30 years. My oldest girl is 25 and married living an hour from us. When she moved out, it was not too hard to take, I still had another daughter at home. Now she's been away at college for 3 years, graduated there and just started medical school this month and now lives 3 and a half hours away from us. I have left her room just the way she left it, with college leftover stuff all over the place and things she didn't want anymore. Now that she is gone, and most likely rarely to be home due to her schedule, I've started cleaning out her room and am going to redecorate it. This is so hard.

Anyway, I am soooo proud of her. We have always been close and I've never expected her to live near me because of her goal of becoming a doctor, but my gosh, I miss presence so much!! I'd never want either of my children to hold back on their dreams to live near me, that is not what I want, but I don't know how to get past the empty hole I have in my soul now that they are grown and gone.

My daughter once sent me a Mother's Day card with a handwritten note that said,

"Thanks for giving me my own life to live in." It was bittersweet. I'd done the right thing, I was not the suffocating, sabotaging Mom like my Mom was...and yet, here I am with 2 disabilities wondering what the future holds. She was such a late bloomer, didn't take advantage of an entire college scholarship when she was younger & now struggles in her 30s to make ends meet while going to college, far away. Like you, I belong to another site here. The week was bad as I battled illness. Today I took my kitty cat outside and watched her eat grass & play. If anything happened to her I'd be smushed. I'm sure that your MH challenge & my physical challenge keep us down a bit but hopefully, things will improve & we can get out more--movies, plays, museums. That would be great. I'd even go alone.

Hi!

I was so sad when my daughters left, too. Daughters always come back!

But being a doctor is very time intensive. It might take a while.

Before you had kids, what did you like to do? Sports, art, cooking, sewing, fishing, hiking, travel, dancing. Now that you don't have your kids 24/7, you have the time to do something for yourself with some of your time. Think about some things you would like to do.

Let me know what you come up with!

Best wishes,

zmc

Hi PM,

Just checking to see how you have been lately. What have you been doing to help you deal with the empty nest? Have you joined any groups or reconnected with old friends or family? Have you considered taking any classes 'just for fun?' Let me know. I care.

zmc

I have such a difficult time. My kids are both born in 1990 and they are 21 ages (not twins 10.5 month apart) I'm so lonely. I was in a bad motor cycle accident in 2008, not seeing anyone. Oh how alone I have felt ever since. This X-Mas I spent alone with my 2 wonderful poodles. They try so to fill the VOID but takes less care to love the hell out of them. If they could talk maybe?

I've become such a loser in their harts mostly because I have no $. It hurts me so bad. I have PTSD from the accident my injuries catastrophic. My depression gets bad I feel they'd be happier with my life insurance if I didn't make it.

I now have so much anxiety I'm medicate not doing anything alone if it requires leaving the house.

I married the first man to come along who'd marry me. What hell, he's the most miserable man. He's pretty much everything I'd worked so hard to stay away from as a single mom. Their dad killed himself in 1998. All I mean all of their anger for him I've had to shoulder. I really just want to run away to start over?

you are not alone, people in this group are swell and it helps starting a diary, sharing and reading others posts. I really wish i could have pets, they make the quiet, lonely times so much better and caring for pets is really theraputic. Take care,

I am new at this too, we will be an ear and a shoulder for eachother with out our child! Thinking of you and what you must feel also!