Wow - I can hear from your words that you are in a lot of pain. Maybe right now you need to keep things simple. Not have all the distractions and stress of dealing with negative energy. You really are in a good place to focus on you right now. Have you gone to the ER to talk to someone??? It sounds like you are trying really hard - on your own - to manage all of this. A little help might be the thing that turns your around and back on a path to wholeness. I know it is hard - especially after dealing with someone who obviously doesn't care about your needs - but YOU have to care. For your sons - and for yourself. I know I need my life to be very simple so that I CAN focus on me and the things that I need to be healthy. At first it feels bad - and lonely - and like I failed. But once I get past all the pain I can start making ME stronger. Trust me, it isn't easy, but YOU are worth it. You can SHOW your sons that you took the time to get help and get strong. That's the BEST example a father can give their kids. For the rest of their lives they will think,'If Dad could do it, so can I.' Is it your birthday today??? I thought I read that in your post. In that case, happy birthday. You are here for a reason. Today is the BEST day to start taking care of YOU and get some help. It's like being born again - and this time give all the love you have to YOU - because you deserve it more than anyone. Are you close to the ER now??? |
"The part of my recovery plan that I would say made up 80% is MDJ. I suffered a lot prior to finding MDJ, felt alone and had no one to talk to who really understood me. In the Bipolar Group I found like minded individuals who I could relate to and who offered support to me when I needed it. As I recovered, I could then offer support to them which gave me a good feeling about myself. I have met some great people here who I would class as good friends and know I would still be in the slump I was in without them. Now I am stable, I know that MDJ plays an important part in keeping me that way. Thank you MDJ for being there for us all and making us no longer feel alone." (liamacker)
