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10/04/2009 02:17 AM

verbally abused by being cussed out

Billi1

I recently changed my phone number the other day and tonight a person (male or female?) texted my new number. They asked me if I "still had this phone". I texted them back and told them, "Wrong number. Do not call again." I set a boundary because lots of times, ppl don't care if it's a wrong number and they keep calling over and over again.

They texted me back, saying, "sorry jesus."

I told them they didn't have to be that way.

I'm afraid they're going to keep harrassing me.

Cussing someone out is a form of abuse.

even if I was kind of angry, no one has a rigth to talk to me that way.

But they succeeded in making me feel bad anyway.

It doesn't feel good to be cussed out!

Owwwww.....!!!!!

Jencarlene

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10/04/2009 02:41 PM
TakingMySoulBack
TakingMySoulBack  
Posts: 86
Member

Hi Jencarlene

I would first take a deep breath and step back from the situation for a moment. At the moment you are probably anxious and panicked at what might happen (you are concerned the harrassment may continue) but if you look at the situation carefully, you might see you are in control of this.

Also something to consider - whoever texted your number is a stranger, they dont know you. The more you react to their responses the more they are probably enjoying it. Stop all contact with them and they will get bored. Find out from your phone company what they can do to block the number, or at least report it for harassment.

Take a deep breath and think calmly about making a list of steps you can take to resolve this annoying situation. Look at the practical things you can do to take control to help put an end to it, get help if you need to. Get some support from the phone company, and talk to some supportive friends to help distract you from the intensity you create when you go through circumstances like this.

Remember, you control how you feel and you control how you deal with your situations.

You say "Cussing someone out is a form of abuse.

even if I was kind of angry, no one has a rigth to talk to me that way.

But they succeeded in making me feel bad anyway."

I agree, no one has the right to talk to anyone that way. It is degrading and it is a reflection of the person who speaks to you that way, not a reflection of you.

For whatever reasons, some people are abusive, but you dont have to allow yourself to feel bad because they choose to behave that way. There is no reason for you to feel bad when someone is abusive or aggressive. You are strong, they are not. Dont allow yourself to be pulled into their game and stand strong in who you are, believe in who you are because you are the stronger one.

You control how you feel and the more you do things that you enjoy and make you happy, the easier you will find it to deal with situations like this.

Good luck for a speedy resolution.


10/06/2009 07:49 AM
Billi1

thank you. Smile

10/08/2009 03:39 PM
TimArends
TimArendsPosts: 66
Member

I think you maybe overreacted a bit. When you changed phone numbers, the person you called was probably simply trying to reach the person who had the old number. The fact that you were harassed in the past probably made you a little touchy.

Post edited by: TimArends, at: 10/08/2009 03:42 PM


12/18/2009 01:40 PM
Billi1

ppl who are abused are touchy!

Let me ask you something: As a person who has been thru abuse, if someone said something to you that triggered you, would you "overreact"?

just a thought, okay?

I get upset when ppl cuss at me, ANYONE.

total strangers, anyone.

cussing is not okay with me.

I am not overreacting!

Billi

Post edited by: Billi1, at: 12/18/2009 01:44 PM


12/18/2009 02:42 PM
freetofly
freetoflyPosts: 389
Member

Cussing someone out IS abuse. It is disrespectful AND intended to control the person on the receiving end.

As for me...if someone said something to me that triggered me, I might overreact. The effects of trauma run deep and everyone has different responses to it, but triggers tend to bring out the original response....whatever it might be.

Good luck with all...


12/21/2009 01:47 AM
TakingMySoulBack
TakingMySoulBack  
Posts: 86
Member

There are moments I may overreact but they are very rare moments. Ultimately Im responsible for how I choose to respond to verbal abuse but it took some time to realize that.

We need to realize: whatever another person says to you, is not a reflection on you. It never is. It is always a reflection of them.

So once we understand that, we can take measures to balance our emotions. We need to learn how to set boundaries and what actions we can take when those boundaries are overstepped.

Once we understand we dont have to overreact, we keep control of our emotions and we learn not to let other peoples issues affect us.

For characteristics of the abused, see this link

http://eqi.org/signs_of_emotionally_abused_people.htm

And info on emotional stress

http://www.submityourarticle.com/articles/Trevor-Dumbleton- 406/stress-2645.php

We also need to learn emotional responsibility, and how to be responsible for our own actions. Despite our past experiences, we can still behave in a civil and reasonable manner. The goal for our recovery is emotional balance, so if we tend to overreact to particular situations then it is up to us to find ways to resolve it.

Post edited by: TakingMySoulBack, at: 12/21/2009 01:57 AM


12/21/2009 11:16 PM
Billi1

thank you.

We are all human and imperfect and I don't know if I will ever acheive the perfect response, but I am working on it.

Yuo are right.

Billi

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