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09/10/2009 09:00 AM

i need help(page 3)

NewLen
NewLen  
Posts: 286
Member

Here is another one for you to read that I think will help a bunch:

"Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood. It is a paperback.

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09/10/2009 09:22 AM
NewLen
NewLen  
Posts: 286
Member

Don't know whether you got my suggestion for a book to read that may be of help so here it is:

"Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood. It's in paperback.


09/10/2009 10:50 AM
catiana
catianaPosts: 600
Member

i think the main thing is goin into therapy if u can aford it..and finding the real reason behind you stayin in this situation..there always is one..from ur teen years or ur childhood years..Smile

09/12/2009 04:28 AM
deserttygger
 
Posts: 19
New Member

Im reading back through some of the posts, and something you said really hit home, Catiana. He never ever thinks theres anything wrong with him....it is always everyone elses fault. So how would he ever change or get help when he thinks he doesnt need any? I havent been able to pick up any of the books you guys have recommended, but I finally have a couple days off tomorrow and the next, so I plan to look for them. Im thinking of you all, and thanks for being here!

09/12/2009 04:28 AM
Broken76
Broken76Posts: 16
New Member

"Women Who Love Too Much" is an excellent suggestion.

Desert, try to make time for yourself. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate with work and taking care of your son, but please try to set aside even just an hour or so for yourself each week to sit at the bookstore and read parts of these books with a nice cup of tea or something. That way you don't even have to buy them Wink and you can go back and look at them little by little. These books can be a lot to take in all at once but I swear I was reading my life off the pages of them sometimes. They help you make sense of what's happening and how to make changes. I'm not working right now but I found a decent therapist a few weeks ago who sees me on a sliding scale. Try looking for one for yourself online, yellow pages, etc.

None of this is a magic bullet, but little steps taken over time are going to help you recognize certain truths and free yourself from this person's punishment. Like Catiana said you're going to get to the bottom of why you're choosing to sentence yourself to a life with this man (aside from being in love with him, something else is keeping you chained to him). I'm working through it right now and it's hard. It's going to hurt before it gets better but you're not alone in this.

You deserve to be in a loving, safe and supportive relationship with a partner who will enhance the wonderful and giving person you already are, not a partner who will keep trying to break you down and blame you for everything that's wrong in his life.

Post edited by: Broken76, at: 09/12/2009 04:46 AM


09/12/2009 07:36 AM
catiana
catianaPosts: 600
Member

Just try tellin that to his face one day..se how he reacts ..maybe you should make a list of the things u think he did wrong and read it to him or write a letter just STOP FEELING GUILTY cuz u are not!!!answear him back wherener he blames you for shit..don't just take it anymore without saying anything back..and for god sake don't ever cry in front of him again..if you do this things..i see about two ways the situation could go..either u might end up havin a fist in ur face cuz he will go insane from u fightin back (we don't want that)..or he will be the one tellin you you guys needs to separate cuz he just can't take ur crap anymore(blaming u again of course as usual)..either way maybe it can be a little kick up ur ass to finally move on and realise HE PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN CARE ABOUT YOU..he doesn't respect you and certainly doesn't love you so is this what you want for you?(what's ur name by the way lol)and aslo don't get fooled by the sweet moments..like wwooow so many abusers can be sweet as honey when they want to and make you believe no one else would ever love u the same.is that ur case to?(or even tellin you that no one else could stand you the way u are..that's just manipulating you also to stop you from ever leaving him and make you not trust yourself anymore make u feel ur not worth anything..but you are!!)

09/15/2009 04:18 AM
deserttygger
 
Posts: 19
New Member

Had such a busy weekend, and a grandfather in law passed away....Hope you all are doing well. My name is Danielle!

09/15/2009 09:13 AM
catiana
catianaPosts: 600
Member

Nice to finally meet you DanielleTonguesorry about what happened ..i hope ur doing well also coping with that Smile

09/16/2009 04:10 AM
deserttygger
 
Posts: 19
New Member

Nice to meet you too. Im doing alright, thanks. Grampa was a wonderful man and will be greatly missed.

09/16/2009 12:00 PM
catiana
catianaPosts: 600
Member

..hopefully you will not suffer to much as i'm sure your grampa would want you to always remember him with a smile on your face.take care hunny
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