Emotional Abuse Support Group

I was off from work for a week and I left for a few days just to be on my own and think about things and just enjoy my leave from work without worrying about drama with him.I couldn't breathe the first few days I was with him.I kinda had a panic attack and nearly fainted one day too.

So this day he went to his friends which was confusing bcoz we were going to watch movies together,but he just changed his mind and I had to change accordingly. So I already booked a place for me a at a small lodge very close to the beach and I left the Wednesday morning, went to some friends who invited me over and the lodge and only came back Sunday nite. When I was gone I phone him to say I'd left and he blew a fuse about it. But I had a fabulous time

Anyway when I came back I told him that I wanted to go to hav time alone and I want to be a healthier person, if this relationship isn't going to get healthier, then I don't know. So he called me at work the next day to say that he has a good job prospect and he's going to see a spiritual healer(but guy wasn't available when he went).

I don't kno if I'm the only one but I'm starting to hate sex and hate myself for wanting him in that way and hate myself for f***ing missing him wen i was away. The sex makes me so open to him and it seems like bcoz he gave it he can do to me as he pleases bcoz i'm only doing it with him so he's the only one who can give it to me.

So he was holding on to me the whole night last nite and hugged me and stuff (after not speaking wen i came back day before) and he drew me closer to him and we were just fooling around this morning after a long time (he punished me by denying me affection and so on a while before I left) I couldn't help it... i didn't kno what he does in his spare time and i wanted to protect myself so...instead of coming up with a bogus story to get him to wear a condom i asked in a very loving voice...babe did u perhaps sleep with anyone while i was away coz i just want to let u kno i didn't.

So we did it and afterwards he said i musnt think that he wud want to sleep with anyone else and he phoned me at work and he said that it was really bad for me to ask that and he's hurt that i wud think that he wud jump into bed with someone else just bcoz he's angry at me.

Now he thinks I slept with someone and just said that to cover up ugh!

And now we spoke over the phone again and I asked him if he wanted to watch movies later if he's at home tonite and he's like of course I'm gonna b at home you're the one leaving everytime and some other nasty stuff that made me feel so bad. But I'm goin home now and I'm gonna b strong *hugs to all*

but yes yoiu shold never sacrafice yourself totally for another person