Emotional Abuse Support Group

I'm 25 years old - with a 7 year old son - I'm going through college - dealing with 10+ years of severe depression, anxiety and PTSD from 2 abusive marriages in my past. I was verbally and physically abused in high school (I wasn't beat up, but things like my hair being cut, my clothes being cut up, etc happened) Lately, I've started to wonder if my issues steam from my mother.

My father has lung cancer and needs someone to be with him all the time because he is prone to seizures - I can't work because I am the only family member willing to be here with him 24/7 - which means I live with my parents - I also go to school full time (online) all year round and take care of my son. Today my mother came home while I was eating lunch, starts slamming doors, giving me dirty looks, throwing things around, kicking and hitting my son... I told my son to tell my father that I need to go pick up my fiance so I can make a 6 pm therapy appointment this evening - she threw a damn fit, started screaming at me, asking me "what the **** do I have to go for?" "What the **** time do I have to go and where?" "why the **** does my fiance need to go with me?"

She is going to church with my father at 6:30, my appointment is at 6 and lasts an hour - someone needs to watch my son because my parents refuse to skip church or take my son with them - and um... idk, I'm severely depressed and NEED to see my therapist?

What I'm wondering now is this... did my decisions about the people I was with and how long I stayed in abusive relationships have anything to do with my mother being abusive towards me? She was never really physically abusive to me when I was younger, she'd hit and kick me like she does my son now - she was much more physical with my sister - they'd throw punches and even got a knife out once. Her verbal abuse is what has always been bad.

She hates my current fiance - who is 23 years old, out of the military and currently looking for work. I get funds from school every quarter I go - so I help him out with money when he needs something like shampoo, deodorant, clothes, food, etc. He loves my son very much and IS NOT abusive, at all. He's never once raised a hand to me, he refuses to discipline my son (no spanking period, even when my son lashes out physically) and he VERY RARELY raises his voice to me, and when he does, it's in private... my fiance is a good person, he's just struggling in the economy - like many people.

Dr. Drew was on the other night and he had a caller who said something about having a verbally abusive mother... and Dr. Drew said that's why she entrapped herself in abusive relationships with men. Is this what has happened to me? What can I do about it? I'm really desperate.

you will find that a whole lot of us in this group came from emotionally abusive households or dysfunctional ones.There was alot of verbal and a bit of physical abuse in my family too.I would say if your Mom is hitting and kicking your son that she has some serious problems and yes she is "abusive"...it must be a tough situation especially if you are dependent on them right now.I am so sorry you are having to deal with this in your life.

MizzDreadful,"I've started to wonder if my issues stem from my Mother."In a word "Yes" they probably do.What you have described is pretty extreme abuse.Kicking and hitting you or your son IS physical abuse.That is not okay and you need to get yourself and your son away from that as soon as possible.The other things you have described are emotional abuse.That is not normal or okay either.A family history of abuse sets you up to repeat that in your relationships.Please contact the national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233.They can help put you in touch with someone that can help you and can probably connect you to resources to help your Father too.

HUGS.Lanna

Yes, I would say your mother is both physically and emotionally abusive. I would get out as soon as possible. I know you and your sister grew up having to deal with it and I would hate to see your son suffer threw the same things. Hitting and kicking is down right disgusting in my book. There is no reason for it.

I came from an emotionally abusive childhood but mine was from my father. I believe it has a lot to do with how you engage in relationships because you are so used to being abused that you don't see the red flags when they are staring you in the face. You have come to view this as normal so why would it be an issue...right?

It took me a long time to come to terms with my abuse and see it for what it is. I hope you can find some relief soon. IN the meantime, use here as a place to vent.

Lots of love,

Leigha

I met with my therapist today and discussed this whole issue with him as well, he confirmed what all of you typed out to me - this is defiantly where my pattern of participation in abusive relationships has come from - I didn't actually even know it was abuse because I was so used to it - the abuse I suffered from my husbands was extreme and much more dangerous, but because I was so codependent on them, like I am with my parents now, it didn't register with me as being deadly. I see it now through the help of my therapist, fiance and you all - thank you so much.

My therapist has said he will keep a watchful eye on the physical abuse of my son, he gave me a card with his cell phone on it - I am afraid if I call social services on my mother she will hurt my son even more, as well as me - but he said if it happens again, I can call him and by law, HE has to report it.

Thank you again, I appreciate the responds so much.