Emotional Abuse Support Group

Well I will try to make this short but we got into a huge fight me and my husband.I had this claim check coming in for my car accident and from the start of the whole process,he bitched at me all the time yelling at me on the phone because he said if it were him he'd have the check right away etc...I got it and figured Id give half to him so he wouldnt try to control the money situation.I havent had clothes in ages because he only buys for him and the kids.Anyway...it wasnt good enough for him.Today he came home and wanted me to account for every penny I spent...I took out the kids and bought my girls shoes,my son a phone card and bought a new bra and one shirt for 7 dollars...and we ate at the Mall.He was furious,accusing me of spending all the money and blowing it.I saved extra money from the claim to fix my car and for groceries,I dont think I spent

unwisely.Got the shoes buy one get one half off.

Anyway,...see what he would do if I brought home money?

He has convinced my parents that I spend all his money...I said"look you went out and spent 200 or more on clothes last week for you but I cant buy a bra?Then he say"I try to buy you things but stopped a long time ago"...this is because about 7 years ago he bought me some tight

courdory pants that i did not like and he now he says if I want clothes then to get a job,If you want a decent car then get a job....so for one time i have money...I want to do something nice for my kids and I get hell.

He was going off about everything I bought...he was in the kitchen going off on me and I stood up to him and said"You are treating me like a child and you are not my parent and im not a child!"...he was so mad and it was intense...but i was not going to step down.He then went up in

our room and slammed the door and locked it.Im so pissed!I have to explain more later because he is here and I have to go.....

Wouldn't it be nice if you didn't have to answer to anybody but yourself? And maybe your kids?

Why does he deserve to have control over you and everything you do? I mean obviously he can justify it to himself (he probably thinks about it 50 times a day, about how he's so deserving and entitled to have an opinion about everything). But when you think about it from your point of view, why does he "deserve" the right to tell you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, and why it pisses him off?

I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself.

Jerk offs like that deserve one thing (maybe a slight variation). Its a good kick to the nose!

That hypocritical crap always blows my mind! And of course if you dare point that out an excuse is already out of his mouth, or as mine would do "we're not talking about me right now!"

Nolongertrapped...yes! That is what I dream of, not having to answer to him any more

Today he got up and said"Im sorry about last night at least half of it"he was sorry about going off on me but not sorry about trying to control the money.I said"thats not an apology!"so Im still not talking to him.of course he is trying to make up with me because I have money in the bank.

Yes!i am dreaming of the day when I dont have to answer to him!

Post edited by: WandaLynn, at: 06/23/2012 08:11 AM

Wanda, how is the escape plan coming along? Can you keep the money from the claims check safe from him?

I'm glad you are finding the strength to stand up to him, but be very careful... you know abusers are the most dangerous when they feel they are losing control. I really hope you can find a way out soon. Don't trust him with ANYTHING right now, and start making some phone calls!

I am planning on starting a savings account and it will take a little time but I know I will have the money if needed in the near future.The car claims money was not much and I had to fix some repairs on my car.baby steps over here.

Baby steps are great! Way to go! WIth the car fixed you'll have more options for jobs!