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04/27/2012 09:15 PM

Wondering if i could have done better by him?(page 2)

Go2Girl
Go2Girl  
Posts: 252
Member

I totally agree with you nolongertrapped... I too feel I have gotten more out of coming here than I have gotten out of my counseling. Thank you all so much BTW! Smile
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04/28/2012 05:48 AM
mem7697

No NoLongerTrapped i didn't interact with other people the same way as i did with my ex i have to say.I'm human and have my shortcomings as everybody does (i can be short tempered,i can go on about things etc.,actually maybe the last one was just something that the ex put into my head) but i never sought to hurt him.I loved him.

I was discussing this with my counsellor the other day and he said that the stuff that i did in the relationship was actually pretty normal human,relationship stuff.


04/28/2012 10:11 AM
p92868
p92868  
Posts: 2700
Senior Member

I am glad to hear Diemcarpe that you found yourself not being abusive to your abusers when you say...."No NoLongerTrapped i didn't interact with other people the same way as i did with my ex i have to say..."....

Also, did you received Why Does He Do That?.....have you had a chance to call around such Alcoholic Anonymous to get information about recovery and domestic violence support groups....I find myself getting lots and very interesting information from all these means instead of relying of just one friend or one place that may not be there for when I desperately need an answer.....I hope this helps you gain the support that we all need specially when dealing with abusers.....keep me posted on these two resources.....and I hope you find lots and lots of answers these two ways and more......


04/28/2012 12:33 PM
nolongertrapped
nolongertrapped  
Posts: 863
Senior Member

Diemcarpe, I agree with your counselor. I hope you understand that I am just responding to your posts. You seem to be questioning whether or not you are abusive. I hope I'm not offending you. I do not think you are abusive at all.

04/30/2012 05:13 AM
mem7697

Hey NoLongerTrapped,i know what you mean.I know that you're not trying to say that i'm abusive and absolutely no offence is being taken Smile .

04/30/2012 07:50 PM
nolongertrapped
nolongertrapped  
Posts: 863
Senior Member

Phew! Thank you. I was concerned. I can be a little blunt. I'm sorry that your abuser put you through that. I call it gas lighting. They like to make us think that we're the abusers, and they like to make you think your crazy and maybe we're just making it all up in our head or blowing everything up out of proportion...but in reality I think we're underestimating the problem.

Once I finally got away from my abuser, it was like a supernova of light and energy and mental clarity. You know I had to go on anti-depressants to cope with being in a relationship with my abuser. And there was a ten day period where I didn't have them and I had these crazy thoughts that I never would have had even before I started taking them. So I went back on them. Well then about a two months after I left my abuser, I ran out of my anti-depressants again...and oddly enough, this second round I did not have those crazy thoughts and I realized I actually didn't need them anymore. Anyways, I know thats a bit off base, but my point is that you'll see so much light after you've healed. Even while you're healing, the beauty of freedom is eradicating.

I have to say that I actually feel more confident about who I am as a person now than I did before I even met my abuser.

I hope your abuser trips on some bleachers and incidentally loses his balls. Thats what they get for putting us through hell.

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