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Rob298times Posts: 3
New Member
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WOW, after reading some of your post I feel like I'm in good company, hate to put it that way but it takes time and a big step to even step out to talk about abuse. One normally thinks of bruises and so forth but not being mentally tormented. I reckon for men its harder to talk about because things like this don't happen to men! Third marriage for me and she seemed perfect at first. She started saying things after we married like bi-polar runs in her family but she did not think she was, she stated things like: I've been told I'm hard to please, I've always had relationship problems but do well at work (She is in charge of of a corp that's doing very well). Love seems to hide things or maybe some just do a fantastic job of hiding their problems from others, especially those they don't have to be with much, they can seem perfect to others! Real fast for me, first marriage was over 20 years and overall very good, a unexpected murder in her family seems to change everything. Second marriage was a rebound for me I'd say and it cost me everything financially to include my home. However we have a young daughter and what a blessing she is, God is good! After severe hurt in both I found the best way to deal with it was forgiveness! That was tough at first but I found myself feeling released from it all and even get along well with both ex's.And, I'm sure I need forgiveness every once in a while! As far as my daughter is concerned I get her half the time and would take all if possible. Not to get back at the ex but because she is such a blessing. As far as this marriage, which I felt was going to be the best of them all, it fell apart as soon as her middle 20's daughter moved in with us from out of state.(she lived with us 6 months) That was fine with me but things seemed to focus on the wives daughter a lot as far as the wive was concerned and is. I went to counseling and begged the wife to go but she made commits like, it don't work, its for people like you and so on. Everything is always me according to her and I'm the mean one, even when she slapped me and called my son who is in law enforcement I just smiled and ended up laughing. I've hung in there because of love and its getting very tiresome at this point. I even told the counselor I was concerned that maybe it was me, to which after several weeks she stated she saw nothing in me that showed any type of personality disorder but did in my wife. She also asked why I stayed, my response, love and a commitment! Well then I did gave some money saved and a job, now neither and I've never lost a job in my life and never had a problem creating one. This just seems to consume me and even my young daughter who use to love to come here and go places with my wife, she treated my daughter like gold at first, don't want to come here anymore. My daughter say one day that the wife never tells her she loves her or hugs her any more, and she don't! Am my age you don't like thinking about starting over any more!I should of looked at how her relationship was with her two kids but did not! One evening at diner with the wife, her daughter, her daughters boyfriend and daughters female room mate, the wife flirted with the daughters boy friend like a two dollar whor.......and that was the first time I know of. I've come to the place that I know I want be able to change her or even make a difference. Its time to take care of the one(s) that love you and you love and let her live her life in the self-center world that I've come to know her for. |
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