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02/05/2012 09:25 AM

He has gone no contact LMAO

Momof3boyz
Momof3boyz  
Posts: 182
Member

He finally has said I have to let you go and face it. So now even when it comes to the kids, he says nothing. I hate it because he never told me Friday that he couldn't pick up the kids until I kept asking. He is getting them today and instead of working out the details with me, he is texting my 6 and 8 year old on their iPods making them the messenger. He is the most immature person I know! I guess since I met him when he was 19 he has just stayed 19 this whole time!

I just feel bad for my kids. He puts them in the middle and I have no way of controlling that unless I stop them from seeing him which I don't want to do.

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02/06/2012 01:04 AM
niceprtty
niceprtty  
Posts: 50
Member

whoa you sound like me! I am trying sooo hard to keep the boys with him so that I can heal from this (fyi I almost killed myself) I'm currently homeless and penniless but apparently to the public welfare system under the domestic abuse and violence program I am "golden" and can get an education. I just need him to stay in the "honeymoon" period long enough to get the education for a good job to support me and the kids. While I heal and understand what he truly has done to me!

02/06/2012 02:32 AM
mem7205

Momof3boyz,His using your innocent children as pawns in his games to control speaks volumes to me.

02/06/2012 04:16 AM
Meg1129
Meg1129Posts: 14588
Group Leader

That's a typical abuser. He hasn't "let you go" because if he did, he would be able to deal with you in a normal way. He is still abusing you, only now he's giving you the silent treatment. I recognize this behaviour so well!

02/06/2012 06:41 AM
Momof3boyz
Momof3boyz  
Posts: 182
Member

Oh yeah that is exactly what it is. He used to try talking to me when I dropped them off or pick them up, now he stands there looking all pitiful, please I don't feel the least bit sorry for you! He thought I was always going to stay or come back eventually. I think he is starting to see that he was wrong! So he is going to try and continue to control me from afar! He never gets the kids because in his mind that keeps me in the house and not able to meet anyone. The one night he did have them overnight he kept texting me all night long!

I know he isn't letting go but I do know he is dating. I have to find a way to not let that bother me so much. I don't want him, they can have him but it still bugs me. Im not sure if its jealousy or just the thought of how he can come and go as he pleases and has ppl lined up waiting like that. I dunno why I feel this.

I hope that my kids don't end up like him. I see so much insecurity in my 8 year old. I try building his confidence. Football really helped because he was the quarterback and got so much praise from coaches and teammates. I want to make sure my kids are raised to respect woman and love themselves! Its hard raising all boys.


02/06/2012 08:30 AM
Meg1129
Meg1129Posts: 14588
Group Leader

They always seem to keep us on ice, even when they "move on." Abusers can't be abusive unless they have a victim. Again and again and again, I've seen abusers go right from a broken marriage to a relationship(s). You never see one say, "Well, I'm not ready to date again yet. Maybe in a few months or even a year" and mean it.
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