I think it is pretty normal to feel conflicted at a time like this... it is scary to be on your own for the first time in what seems like forever! Even when your feelings are conflicting and hypocritical, try not to judge them too much and just let them come up as they will. It's all part of the process, and they will all sort themselves out as long as you keep your eye on the prize  Isn't it almost sad and pathetic though how predictable his actions are though? The way he switched tactics so quickly reminds me of a spoiled toddler trying out different tactics to get the cookies from the jar. He's flailing right now and desperately trying to appeal to your good nature and compassionate heart to wriggle his way back into your good graces, but it won't work this time will it? Bancroft I'm pretty sure has mentioned each tactic he has used on you (at least what you've described so far) in his book... almost like you've read his playbook and now nothing can catch you offguard! You have a unique opportunity to start over now, fully appreciating what love and freedom can mean to us. That's the gift us victims get... the gift of sight. We endure terrible things to get it, but at least we come out wiser and more appreciative of what life is supposed to be all about. |
