Emotional Abuse Support Group

I left my emotional abuser in October. Most of the time I have felt so thankful for my new found (or rescued) sense of independence and freedom.

Sometimes though, like today, I start to feel anxious, insecure and depressed and I realize how the last four months I have not felt like myself at all. I think I'm still reeling from the after effects of my relationship; is that possible?

Previous to my relationship with Erik, I never used to be frightened, insecure or wary of constructive criticism. Lately however, during the past four months, I've felt like I'm on incredibly shaky ground. I'm frightened of the dark, of sleep, walking alone, frightened when I hang out with my few new friends because I don't feel "cool enough" to be with them.

My counselor has been wonderful. She did diagnose me with depression, anxiety and PTSD. Can you even believe it, PTSD? That's incredible to me! Does anyone else have experience with this?

I just need validation. For some crazy reason, all of the sudden it's like "it never happened" and I broke up with a good guy and it's all my fault. I don't know.

I'm just in a bit of a low moment all of the sudden.

Thank you everyone. I'd love to hear your story.

Just because an abusive relationship ends doesn't mean the abuse ends. Abusive relationships change the way you think. They make you fearful, insecure and distrustful. They suck out your self-esteem. Just because you dump the abuser doesn't mean those things magically disappear. It can take a lot of time to heal from an abusive relationship.

And yes, I have heard of PTSD after an abusive relationship. My therapist told me that's what I had after I left my abuser years ago. A lot of therapy though helped tremendously.

How long do I have to heal? What can I do best to heal? What has been your experience? Thank you so much, Meg, for your help.

I ended it with mine almost 9 months ago and I am still in the healing process, I am just now okay with him being gone, I can think about him and his new gf and not get mad or cry anymore although sometimes the sadness of him being gone or feeling like I failed is still there. But again me self esteem is totally gone. Why would anyone want an overweight chic with 3 kids 2 baby daddys and is almost 30 still living with her mother. I know that I can lose the weight but even when I thought I was hot he made sure to put me down, I always liked my curves but not so much now. I am still trying to find who I was a long time ago, trying to become that person again. So yeah it just takes time.

Hey Juss, your still a young chic!! I'm 44 and I have six children with two baby daddies. Married twice both were abusive. When I left my husband last time, I went on a dating site and you wouldn't believe the response. I didn't believe the response. I started walking laps in my basement and bought a exercise bike and I went on a few dates as soon as I fit back into my old jeans!!! You don't have to think that nobody would look your way!!! There are so many lonely people in this world that would love to have a family like you and the kids. Just be careful of coarse!!! But yeah, if I can date at my age and with all the kids I have, so can you. And they don't care where you live either!!! Hugs.

I would recommend two books that a lot of people have said really helped them.

The links to them on Amazon are below, but you can get them at any bookstore or even the public library. If the library doesn't have them, ask if they can get them for you. You can read reviews of both of them on Amazon and even read a chapter of each for free right now.

http://www.amazon.com/Its-My-Life-Now-Relationship/dp/ 0415923581/ref=pd_ybh_25?pf_rd_p=280800601&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_t=1501&pf_rd_i=ybh&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=110PN4EDWA10B8D7G4C1

http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Scars-Emotional-Abuse- McMurray/dp/0800733231/ref=pd_ybh_22?pf_rd_p=280800601&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_t=1501&pf_rd_i=ybh&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=110PN4EDWA10B8D7G4C1

Hi

I'm only a month in but 'depression and anxiety' pretty much sums up my experience right now.

I'm taking wonderful homeopathic remedies for the anxiety, but figure that feeling down or depressed is a normal physiological reaction to what I'm going through and am trying to view it as a temporary but necessary 'thing'. Though, I expect it will be a few months kind of temporary... I'm expecting my immediate recovery from the emotional abuse to take around a year because we were together so long, but the longer term effects and reflecting on everything that happened will probably be ongoing for a long time.

These are just my thoughts, I've not lived through it yet so have no concrete experience to offer you. Just empathy

Thank you everyone. I have a lot to think about and I love the fact that you are all here and you are all strong, capable, beautiful women! Thank you for that And to Pinkreadingcat - empathy is more than I could ever ask for

You are an amazing woman yourself, YP!

Post edited by: Meg1129, at: 02/11/2011 09:42 PM