Emotional Abuse Support Group

Dear group,

I needed to talk to somebody.Today I feel different...more tense than usual and shaky.My nerves are shot.I feel my heart beating fast.I have never felt as bad as this before.

I feel like this relationship is making me crazy,draining me,making me cry too much,and I cannot

get all of this out of my head.i just want a break & for the world to stop for a moment so i can get off...

Thats how i feel.

When is enough enough?Why do I allow this to happen to me?

I want to talk to him and I want to solve problems...

he does not know how to communicate except to hear his own brain rattle...

how do you reason with an insane person?how do you get them to understand the pain they have caused?

You can't....we spend all our time trying to fix things that cannot be fixed.

What if something happened to me and this nutcase got to raise our kids?Im terrified of that prospect.

Just need support...thanks for listening.

Wanda, it's no wonder you're feeling so miserable! You're absolutely right though: you can't reason with a crazy person, and the plain fact is he will never understand the pain he has caused you no matter how hard you try to explain it to him.

I remember I used to be obsessed with the idea of making my parents understand the reason that I can't have a relationship with them anymore.. I almost felt like it was unfair for me to get away without giving them the "reason" (which in truth I did give reasons, but they fell on deaf ears.) I finally had to accept that there are things that I cannot fix and cannot change, but what I can do is protect myself and prevent further harm to me and the people around me.

Have you talked to a therapist about any of your issues? Have you checked out some of the reading materials in the Healing Room? It sounds like you are in need of a change dear... you sound burned out!

If you are afraid of your children being raised by your husband, then it might be time to start taking steps to make sure that doesn't happen. Goodness knows that this relationship right now is not helping your health either!

You deserve better. You deserve peace! Do what you need to do to build yourself up and give yourself the power to make a better life!

(((WandaLynn))) Schefflera is right. You can't make him understand the pain he is causing you. He doesn't WANT to understand that, even if he had the capacity to, which he doesn't. Have you considered seeing a therapist? Another good idea would be to call your local domestic abuse shelter and see if they have any support groups. Many do. Also, check out our Recommended Reading section. Knowledge is power and that's the first step in learning how to get out from under the heel of an abusive man/woman.

As for today, below is a link to a great website that offers self-hypnosis and relaxation CDs and MP3s. They have several free items for relaxation and stress that are great. You can listen to them on your computer or download them and make a CD of them or put them on your MP3. The link is below:

http://www.empoweredwithin.com/main%20info/freestuff.html

WandaLynn, the best way I can describe trying to explain to an abuser what he's doing is like talking a foreign language to them. No matter what you say, they won't get it. Like a cow looking at a passing train. At this point in my life, my abuser says he wants to work on our relationship, but I haven't seen him really looking into himself. I think he thinks it's all just me..... Sometimes I feel like I'm just talking to that cow...

Meg, I can't believe I haven't mentioned that before... when things were getting really bad with my father I couldn't go to sleep at night because I was so nervous, worrisome, panicked.... I was exhausted but couldn't sleep! I downloaded some of the Meditation Podcast tracks on my mp3 player and there was one that was actually focused on sleep that seriously saved me. It is so much easier to deal with life when you've had a good night's sleep for once!

As any mother knows, a good night's sleep can make all the difference in the world in someone's attitude and ability to cope with the stresses of the day. I successfully quit a two pack a day cigarette habit about 20 years with hypnosis, so I am a huge believer in it.

Thank you all so much.I dont have a therapist and do not have any insurance or money to pay for one.I am considering going to the local domestic abuse center and trying to get some counseling or get into a support group.The question is:do people that are emotionally abused get support or only domestic violence victims?

music is a comfort and my cat is a comfort to me too.hugs to all of you

Honey, emotional abuse IS domestic violence. The only difference is that he uses his words insteads of his fists. The result is the same though. You are left fearful, broken and unsure of yourself. Please call the shelter and talk to a counselor. They are there to help YOU!

Wanda, that sounds like a great idea. Sometimes those domestic abuse shelters can also point you to therapists that charge on a sliding scale (when I was in high school I desperately needed therapy but my father didn't want to pay for it so I went on my own... I paid what I had in my pocket, sometimes just $5-$10, but it was all I had. Later on I actually made a sizable donation to them once I was out on my own so that perhaps they could afford to help another girl like me.)

For convenience I reposted one of my favorite numbers here.

National Women's Hotline 1-800-799-7233

It never hurts to make a quick phone call to see what help is in your area and there doesn't have to be ANY physical abuse for them to help. I'm in a women's support group right now and half the women are only there for verbal/emotional abuse--also called domestic abuse.

It sucks that you're feeling this way. It's so unhealthy to be in an abusive relationship it's no wonder you feel like you're losing it. I feel like I'm totally crazy sometimes. Isolation sure doesn't help