1.Make your safety plan.This is especially important after you leave because that is the most dangerous time for an abused woman.You can learn how to make one by reading my post at the top of the main page titled "Domestic Violence Safety Plan."
2.Buy yourself a beautiful bunch of flowers or one perfect rose.
3.Buy yourself a box of your favorite chocolates or candy.Just for today do not worry about the calories.
4.Make a MEGA healthy menu plan to follow for one week.Include lots of fruits,veggies and lean protein.Watch how good you feel.
5.Fix yourself a hot cup of herbal tea.Try green tea.It is terrific for you and tastes great with a teaspoon full of honey.Or try chamomille or pomegranite tea with honey.
6.Start a journal.Write about your feelings.Include your favorite poems,photos and add fun stickers.Write down all of the abuse and read it when you miss him.
7.Resolve just for today to have no contact with your abuser.Remind yourself that you do not have to have contact with someone who hurts you.
8.Try a new form of exercise.Try Wii Fit,yoga,Tai Chi,Kick Boxing or take a long walk.Carve out 30 minutes each day to do it.
9.Reserve one day a week to eat whatever you want.Plan to eat your favorite junk food.Do not worry about the calories just for that one day.
10.Invite a co-worker,neighbor,old friend or stranger you see everyday for coffee or lunch.
11.Take up art.Make collages,paint,watercolor,pastels,draw or do arts and crafts.Do not worry about the end result.Do it just to express yourself.
12.Download ten new songs that make you feel empowered onto your iPOD,buy a new CD or burn a CD with your favorite songs.Here are some suggestions:Janis Joplin "Piece Of My Heart",Aretha Franklin "Respect",Pink "Misunderstood",Martina McBride "Independence Day",Gwen Stefani(No Doubt) "It's My Life."
13.Play your favorite songs out loud.Sing along and dance to the music.
14.Look up my post titled "My Personal Bill Of Rights." Copy and post it where you can see it.
15.Contact your local domestic violence program and ask about counseling and support groups.Start going.You do not have to live with the memories of abuse alone.There are many other women who have walked in your shoes.
16.Change ALL your contact information.Get off of social networking sites where your ex abuser may find you.
17.Remember that 80% of domestic violence victims suffer from Post traumatic stress disorder.Get treatment for it.
18.You may also have feelings of missing him or feeling you want to go back to him.This may be "Stockholm Syndrome"or "Traumatic Bonding."Just because you feel something does not mean you have to act on it.The definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.Your ex abuser has proved to you that he is capable of hurting you.Abusers lie and make many promises to change.They rarely ever do.
19.Read books about abuse.Try "Why does he do that?Inside the minds of angry controlling men."by Lundy Bancroft.
Remember that you cannot heal from abuse if your abuser keeps tearing off the bandage with his promises and lies.Have no contact with your abuser.You will be suprised if you give no contact time how little you will miss him and how much it lessens the confusion you may be feeling.
