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03/26/2010 04:30 PM

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PBGirl
 
Posts: 50
Member

How do you know when you are emotionally abused? When does something go from criticism to abuse? Please help.
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03/26/2010 05:20 PM
beautifulmind
beautifulmind  
Posts: 765
Member

Hi,and welcome to our group! I want to start by saying that criticism is only good when it is done to better the life of another. (Constructive criticism),. Emotional abuse on the other hand is when someone you "love" says things to you that make you feel unworthy; or to decrease your self worth. Emotional abuse can make you feel ignored, worthless, etc.......Emotional abuse damages someone more than physical abuse bc the scars of physical abuse heal. Scars from emotional abuse stay. We are all here to support you in every way that we can. HUGS to you!

03/26/2010 05:35 PM
FatherKarras
FatherKarras  
Posts: 3261
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Yeah, Beautiful hit the nail on the head. I'm loathe to use the word "criticism" at all, because it has such a negative connotation. Even "constructive criticism" can border that line.

If it hurts you, then it's probably emotional abuse, whether intentional or not. Sometimes you just need to stick up for yourself and say "that's not right, and it hurt my feelings". I know that's difficult, but the more we open our mouths, the more we free ourselves from that abuse.

Welcome to the group. I do hope you find all of the kind, caring support that you need. Feel free to post, vent, or join in other discussions.

Patrick


03/27/2010 04:47 AM
kathie111

Someone once told me "if its not love, its abuse". That was so simple to me at the time I pondered on it for quite a long time. Welcome PBGirl. This is a very caring group and I hope you find the support and info here that you need for your journey............

03/27/2010 06:48 AM
patty777

Kathie, If its not love, then its not, thats all. Whoever said abuse was a bit overstating a fact. Abuse is mean. Now you got me thinking about that LOL. No Love is a power, abuse is a poor choice to try to communicate with mean intentions.

Caring

Patty


03/27/2010 03:40 PM
kathie111

Your right love is a power. It seeks nothing for itself except to nuture another. Abuse is also a power. There are only two powers love and fear and all others come from these two. Abuse is about control for the person directing it is in fear and seeks to control the situation rather than accept situations or others as they are. Abuse says im right and your wrong. It is selfish and seeks only its own good. There are many degrees of abuse - murder, rape, bashings, orders, criticisms unless asked for, ignoring someone, arguing, lying, gossiping. Love has many degrees too - laying your life down for someone elses gain, being kind, generosity, putting your time and effort into another with no gain in mind for yourself, a smile, letting a car in on the peak hour traffic road, considering anothers point of view etc etc. Hope you all having a loving and peaceful day.

03/27/2010 06:31 PM
patty777

I sure wish it was one for me , but not

03/27/2010 06:36 PM
patty777

My Day Sucked!!!! I went out with my close friend who I have known since I was 12. We went to shareour B-days. Yea , that was a joke, she got me to say everything to her and scream it out about my attack by my son i love so much. im numb and broken. nnnnoooooooooooo

03/27/2010 07:30 PM
beautifulmind
beautifulmind  
Posts: 765
Member

Patty,

I am so sorry that what was supposed to be a celebration turned into a nightmare for you! I wish I could come over and hug you through this pain. Don't give up!! We're here for you and we're not going anywhere. Hugs to you!


03/27/2010 08:33 PM
kathie111

I am sending you the biggest cyber space hug I can muster. I am so sorry for the day you had. This is probably a small consellation but Happy Birthday. I had to get my son locked up in psych ward a few years ago as he was psychotic and I was fearful for my safety. When I went to see him he threw the tables and chairs everywhere and I had to be taken out. I knew it was his sickness and although he didnt get me physically it hurt so much to see him like that to me. I can only imagine what you are going thru. We are all good now and I understood that he was sick then. Now he is going thru another psychosis and so as not to repeat last time he willingly came to the doctors with me and is taking medication. I hope something good can come from all of this for you and your son. It is probably too hard to see when the pain of it is so raw and again I am sending you hugs pink doves of peace to surround you and nuture you. Love and hugs..................
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