I am so sick of being considered less than human. Everything is devalued when you are large. I hate all the stupid psyh meds that I am on that have made me this way. Never once before did I question eating as I should as a means to stop the effects of the meds but now I'm gargantuan, a mammoth among civilized individuals. Don't think I don't see the stares, hear the comments, and feel the loneliness. Well I'm done playing by the rules. Seeing as how I can't rightly stop taking my meds the only choice I had left was to break my year and a half stint of behavior free days. I hate having no answer.
I am on a large cocktail of meds too, but I have made it clear to my psychiatrist that I can not and will not take meds that put on weight because of my ED as I know it would just make me depressed. There are alot of med choices out there. Also, we shouldn't define ourselves by our weight--easier said than done, I know. But we really are more than our weight and we have to prove that to everyone these days because of stigma, or so it seems. Real friends will understand that you are living with side effects. We are also more self-conscious than others who likely don't stare as much as you think. I can't prove that except to say when I put on a few pounds I think the world will notice. Rather it's just that I am uncomfortable in my own skin, not that others are uncomfortable around me.
04/17/2012 05:23 PM
I got scared taking some of the meds perscribed as they have the side effects of weight gain. Well, i think i have balanced the med with another that helps me(curbs my appetite). so i am happy about that because the meds work well for me. But just a small change can throw me off, such as trying a new med recently. I was starving all the time, it also kept me awake at night too so i stopped it and am taking another med that works for me better. Sorry you are having a hard time right now. Don't let ignorant people get ya down. you are not alone. And like Canjdog said we are more sensitive to how people view us too.
Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.