My whole life I have been pretty thin due to a fast metabolism..I am currently 5'5'' and weigh 105lbs. I think about my weight a lot...look at my stomach and notice an irritating pooch...and weigh myself daily. However, I never made my self purge, and don't starve myself, just eat one meal a day if I feel fat..and if I do eat two meals the second one is less than half the size of a normal meal. I currently am on a mood stabilizer for my bipolar 2 and it makes me have no appetite which makes it easy to lower my food intake...this makes me kind of happy in a sick way. I am seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow about adding Wellbutrin (antidepressant) to my mood stabilizer because I know it can cause you to lose weight.
I guess my point is...I have never gone as far as purging or starving myself, but my weight is on my mind a lot.
Hi glad you joined in on our discussions.This is a difficult one...I don't believe thinking about your weight and monitoring yourself daily mean that you have an eating disorder. Your attitude about weight and size is probebly the same as most young women your age (I don't know how old you are, but pic looks young). All around you are pics and ads of thin women and that is what we feel we are measured against. 5'5 and 105 seems pretty low weight, but again I have seen some very thin teens who are very healthy. Are you trying to go below your weight? Is the thinking about your weight something new? I think it would be a good idea to share this with your psychiatrist. I am not a doctor, I am a member and group leader, but let me share my thoughts and hopefully we'll hear some opinions from other members too.. There are several types of eating disorders. Restriction, bingeing, ect..and there are behaviors associated with eating disorders such as not being able to enjoy life and events due to constant weight stress. There are feelings of self dislike which include feeling larger than what you are. Again, please let your doc know about these feelings you have and keep us posted
I think eating disorders start with our mind and how we see ourselves.
If I were you, I would answer these questions honestly.
1. Why are you obsessing about your weight all the time? How often do you think about it, every second, every minute, every hour, everyday, before and after every meal? How often is your weight on your mind?
2. What do you associate your weight with in terms of your self-eteem, perceptions about yourself, your worth?
3. What is your "perfect fantasized weight" and how did you come up with that number? Why did you come up with that number? Are you seeing a consulting with a professional dietitian who led you to come up with that number?
4. Is there anybody in your life that is pressuring you to lose weight and you want to please them? Is anybody telling your contantly that you are over-weight and "should" lose weight?
5. Do you have an empty feeling inside where you feel out-of-control? Are you trying to control your weight fluctuations as a mean to gain back control over your life?
6. What is the root reason you are thinking about your weight obsessively and constantly? Just keep asking yourself why until you are satisfied with your answer.
Those were the questions I asked myself before I was able to face the reality and accept that I struggle with an eating disorder. Based on your personal answers to those questions, only you can really say honestly if you have problems with your relationship to food.
If you do find some of your answers disturbing to your spirit and psyche, seek help with a professional therapist, a dietitian and/or a nutritionist. You may or may not have an eating disorder and somebody that is professionally-trained in this area can better assist you with your anxieties/worries about your obssession with your weight.
Good luck! Either way, "know the truth and the truth shall set you free!"
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