Eating Disorders Support Group

Hello everyone.....my name is robert, and i'm the forum leader for the "personality disorder" Forum.

This is something iv'e been afraid to talk about, partially because i think of it being as happening to females fore than males....so my embarassment kept me quiet about a pretty large issue.

I Basically live off of nutrition shakes, because i can't stand the texture of having food in my mouth...there USED to be foods i loved...like old fashioned boiled dinner with corned beef and cabbage...

NOW i can't abide having the texture and basically just having something in my mouth...lately iv'e been staying away from Binge and Purge.....simply because i don't eat.....nutrition shakes are all i can tolerate. The main issue i think for now, is the putting something in my mouth factor. Does anyone here have anything similar to mine....i would be really glad to get some support on this, and possibly hear from some folks about the ins and outs of having an eating disorder being a man.....i hope this doesn't offend anyone, the male thing i mean....you see i just don't know anything about it whatsoever......My sister is a binge and purge like i was.....she's getting a little better....but me....i'm lost and alone in this that's why i asked for some support.....i live (temporarily) with my mom......and she BERATES me about....which just makes things worse....i KNOW i need to eat....my brain just won't let me is all. Thanks for listening, and i appreciate it greatly.

Blessed Be..........Robert

Welcome Robert and don't worry about being a male, ed's know no boundaries! I have never dealt with what you are experiencing other than being anorexic and afraid to put food in my mouth. It certainly wasn't the texture. Have you seen any therapists or talked to your dr. about this? I'm so glad you joined the group, it's always great to get another perspective on things!

No i have a couple doc's and a treatment team....and STILL i don't talk about it..i just get so embarassed.....my mom kind of has a small clue, because she sees me drinking those shakes and not eating....she harasses me about it, but not THAT bad....so my issues are ones you haven't encountered before eh? That doesn't surprise me.....no one has seen anyone like me....with the "texture" thing....Imagine a mouthful of soiled kitty litter.....THAT'S what food feels like in my mouth. Oh and soda....i'm ok with soda....mountain dew code red.....my favorite. Well, thanks for the reply....i hope someone here has experienced what i'm going through....so i can not feel like the freak of the week.

Blessed Be............Robert

You are not a freak of the week, btw I love that!! I can relate to the texture thing because I'm that way with certain foods. My biggest ones are fat on meats and beans. Those textures I have to spit out no matter how hard I try not too. I'd really rather not imagine the soiled kitty litter but that's a great description, gets the point across for sure!!

Thank you for relating to my issues.....it sounds like you really know what your talking about....sorry, i hope i don't offend with the cat litter reference.........it's all i could think of that got the point across in the best way. UGH....drinking too many of these shakes WILL make you feel upset in the tummy.....i have to remind myself that. Once again, i say thank you for replying....and relating to my troubles....i feel a little less alone about this whole thing.....i was thinking i was alone forever with this.....thank you for the support, i am grateful.

Blessed Be............Robert

You didn't offend me at all, I thought it was pretty humorous and I love humor!! Take care!

I made it through the day on three shakes, and a mt. dew.....i don't think that's too much for one day.........i mean, you HAVE to get nutrition somehow....even IF it's unconventionaly.....drank all the vanillas.....now i have the chocolates, i don't like them as much.....i like banana and vanilla the best.....and i don't feel like a cow afterwards.....that's a good thing, i look in the mirror, and have to remember, the chart says i'm proportionate for my height....5'9 and 200lbs.

If i go over i just stop intaking alltogether until i'm back to ideal weight and size. You kind of have to think about it from a clinically point of view...not letting emotions derail your hard work.

Blessed Be..........R

Today i made it through the WHOLE day on two protien shakes, and nothing else. My mom is getting worried, but the idea of eating is repulsive.....she even offered to take me out for pizza or chinese....both sounded gross.....OH i DID have one of those energy drinks that are so bad for you.....i could use some support from the members here.....i'm losing the battle, i'm trying to be somewhat normal, but i JUST CAN'T EAT. WHAT DO I DO?????!!!!

I could use some input and a little support Please.

Somehow, i feel kind of proud for making it the whole day on 2 shakes....it's like when i was a serious cutter, the destruction of a person builds character.....at least that's what i tell myself.

Blessed Be.............Robert

Post edited by: robert12345, at: 10/04/2010 04:01 PM

Hi, I've been at this site for almost a year now, it's very helpful. I can relate to your feelings of excitement that you drank only 2 shakes today, and I'm here to tell you, that's typical eating disordered thinking. The texture thing is interesting, you may not realize almost everyone has certain textures they can't tolerate, and when you have ed, it can get really bad. The other thing I'm wondering, do the shakes appeal to you because you're able to purge them easier than solid food?

I'd say to try to eat. Maybe just taking very small bites. It basically comes down to unreasonable thoughts, which is a huge part of most eating (well, really most psychological) disorders. You have to overcome those unreasonable thoughts by replacing them with reasonable ones. Telling yourself that food is good and that the texture is okay. Assuring yourself that you are strong enough to deal with the texture, then later (hopefully) allowing yourself to actually enjoy the different textures of different foods.

Good luck Robert. You can do it, I know you can!

Elle