Dysfunctional Families Online Support Group

I had my husband take me to the ER last night, and instead of being supportive of me, he got pissed off at me. I lost my grandma due to this of heart failure. With my family history I wasn’t going to take the risk. I was so scared I was in tears off and on all day, and with his attitude, I finally told him, I’m not sure if I can wait till Tuesdsay. I hate going to the ER, but I wasn’t going to take any risks.

Anyways, this is another new health problem to deal with the rest of my life. I have Peripheral Edema. Nothing can be done, I have to watch the salt in take, of course Mr. Denial, even listening to the ER saying salt isn’t an issue, um, yes it is, and always will be. I’m really going to either watch him like a hawk, or not ever allow him to cook my foods ever again. This is caused by leaky capillaries, inflammation, disease of leg veins or excessive salt, or water in my body. It can be a sign of heart, kidney, or liver disease. They took lots of blood and did tests, and everything is normal thank God. So they released me. I have to also keep my legs elevated if I don’t get up and move around a lot, and I also have to wear support stockings, which I have on now. At least I have answers, and my husband was such an ass the whole time. As we were driving home, he said at least we have answers on what’s going on. I told him, I feel he is embarrassed to be around me. I couldn’t even look at him most of the time coming home. Right now, I’m just tolerating his crap, and have nothing to say to him. He has no clue as to how I lost my Grandma. I had this problem when I was pregnant with my daughter. I could’ve died or neither of us might not be here. Thank God I wasn’t married to him when I was pregnant. I went through a lot, was in and out of the ER a lot. I had a bad pregnancy, and he’d of just made it worst.

Today is another day. At least I'm not going through what I did yesterday, even got my morning workout in this morning, which I didn't do yesterday due to I was worried about what I was dealing with. I couldn't get online to let you all know last night. Might as well say, I'm married to a jerk. Love you all! GBHugs, Donna

Hi Donna

Sorry you are going through this and your husband having a bad attitude. Your not alone mine is the same way. We need to take care of ourselves no matter their attitude and I so glad you did. Somehow you must had salt to react like that. keep your feet up, except for taking care of those baby bunnies. Blessings CLAP

Thank you, Clap. At least I have answers on what's going on. I still have to see my doctor for the follow up, and I'm hoping he'll agree, that it was good that I went and not waited. I forgot to mention, my potassium level is still down, but the ER doctor said keep doing what I'm doing, it's not too low to go on more meds, and one of my BP meds is a water pill, which I didn't know. I have no regrets going, even though my husband's attitude says different. Men can be jerks, not all, but most of the ones I know family wise. I love them, don't get me wrong, but I don't need the denial crap from them. I went back and forth all day whether or not to go to the ER. I know I made the right decision. At least today my mind won't be everywhere, which it was yesterday. It's great to have friends that are very supportive. I am so glad I'm in MDJ. So many people have been so helpful and supportive. I know I can come here and be comfortable with posting, can't say I'm comfortable of even talking to my husband about my problems. The rabbits and my pug are better than he is, sorry to say, but true. GBHugs, Donna

Hi Donna...

I'm glad you went, that sounded concerning to me! You could have had a blood clot? That is serious. If he doesn't get that.. well, he just doesn't have a clue I'm sorry but glad you feel better today. HUGS

I'm sorry

Your hubby does not sound nice. I am seeing a consistent repetition of abuse in this forum...and it's making me wonder, is dysfunction caused by abuse? Can you have dysfunction in a nonabusive environment?

Thank you, mask and Izzy. My husband has a bit of denial attitude in him. What works for him doesn't work for me. I have far more health problems than he does, and he'll never get it. I go with my gut feelings, never his. I haven't been wrong yet. He's got an bossy attitude too, but I have held my ground as far as that. He likes to threaten to kick me out when we fight, I come back at him saying he can't. He's a jerk. I'm still avoiding him a lot, since the other night. There was no call in his actions. He'll find out when he's sick next time, he's going to fend for himsself, I'm not lifing a finger. Payback is a B****. Normally I'm not like that, being he wasn't supporting me the other night, and being stupid about the follow up with my doctor, yup, he sees that as pointless too, but I also held my ground. I told him, evertime after being in the ER, there is a follow up with the doctor, which he's never done, but he's been told to. Grrrr, He's an idiot, when it comes to health. I want to say that to him, but due to he has to drive me to the doctor, due to I'm unable to, due to the arthritis in my neck, I keep it down, but I can say it to myself, and he has no clue. lol GBHugs, Donna

Izzy I think that it goes hand in hand. I have put up with emotional abuse for as long as I can remember. First my Dad and now Hubby. I have been told that I have been progamed to put up with the abuse that is why I allow it to go on. Now that I don't want to deal with it anymore my daughter thinks I have someone else. Now I ask you why would I want another man when the one I have is a jackass.LOL Why is it that when a person finally gains some self respect and feels good about themselves there has to be motive behind it. I am lucky I have a very good friend base that has been helping me to find myself and that is all there is to it. Donna I am sorry you are having problems and do hope you get to feeling better. I do know how you feel when Hubby acts the jerk as mine does that all the time, I have been told they act that way because they are worried about us and they don't know how to show concern. I have come to the conclusion that I am going to treat him the same way he treats me when he is sick. I say what is good for the goose is good for the gander. LOL Watch your salt girl I learned that the hard way. I love my salt and didn't want to give it up so I struggled along time with water retention on my legs. Now that I have a better attitude I have cut way back on the salt and life is alot better. Love you all Vickie

Thank you, Vickie. I'm doing the same with my husband, showing no concern at all. He's complaining about his knee. Well if he'd stop eating the way he eats, and does what he's supposed to do being he's diabetic, and lose weight, his knee wouldn't bother him. He's his own worst enemy, and right now, let him hurt. Payback is a b**** as far as I'm concerned. He's not apologized to me, so no sympathy from me. I may sound mean, but with the way he acted the other night was worst than mean, in my book. I'll continue to act the way I am toward him. I don't even want him touching me right now. I'm avoiding him big time.

I did weigh myself, which I haven't for 12 days, I've lost 3.1 pounds, which I told him. I threw at him, sodium is my enemy, it was water weight, as I thought, and I'll continue to avoid it. My grandma had issues with water.He's supposed to watch it too, but his body, his problem. He denies why he's on blood pressure pills. The jerk! Sorry, I'm still very hurt from his actions the other night. Everybody I talked to said I did the right thing the other night. Shows I have to look after my best interest, he sure doesn't care. I can't call the way he is love either. Argh!! I'm so glad to see the weight is coming off. GBHugs, Donna

I hope ur feeling better.all men are from from mars hahahaha

they just play hard. deep down they are lil babies, w/o us they wouldnt be so smart.))

Donna

I'm very glad you went, just ignore the criticism . If it was left to men to take care of themselves, we wouldn't have them around.

Hummm , not a bad idea...J/K LOL...

HUGS, Patty