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02/02/2011 06:31 PM

Just wanted to introduce myself(page 2)

darlenemomof2
darlenemomof2  
Posts: 40
Member

I understand what you are saying that is why it angers me so. My sister has in the past broke my moms ribs stole from them and many many other things yet there she is living with them. They forgive all faults, cover for her, make up excuses for her. I have talked to my mother over and over she begs me not to get involved that she does not want any trouble that she is afraid of losing the kids. The situation is that my mom has legal guardianship of the kids and my sister is not supposed to be living there. But beyond everything she has done my mother wants her there because she loves my sister and thinks that by her living there she can contain the damage my sister will do to herself. When my sister had her own place she would spend all her money on crack cocaine and then beg my parents for money for food and cigarettes which they would give. Now she is still addicted to something but not in the situation as before what I can not get them to understand is the danger this represents to them. I appreciate all the advice that has been given I have been thinking on the best thing to do I have been thinking about researching and buying one of those automatic pill dispensers that are designed for older people so if they forget they will not double dose themselves and program it for my mom that way as long as she takes it right away my sister can not get it I could refill the dispenser how ever often it is needed if my mom will agree.
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02/02/2011 07:00 PM
patty777

Darlene

That sounds like a good solution. But the problem with your sis needs to be addressed by the entire family. Maybe a plan of action like, Intervention. I know they want to help and don't want to hurt the victim's involved. Your Mom is a victim, but your sis is too. She needs some help before she looses her life. I lost a brother , he was only 23 to a OD. Its the worst pain a mother can go through loosing a child.

Can you imagine, your Mom is ill..that could do her in. Some people just don't understand. You may have to go to your local mental health center, to pick up packets of addiction and what the outcome brings.

So your thinking is right, but you have to convince other family members your sisters illness is very serious and can be life threatening.

How would your family see this? do they agree with what your sis is doing to herself or just don't want to get involved? Wondering How to help...

Caring very much

Patty


02/03/2011 05:02 AM
ductydawn
ductydawnPosts: 1153
Senior Member

What she is doing is illegal, and can be persecuted, so give her the option, free rent and board, or out the door,,,,,,,,,point blank, use a video phone to catch her in action, video does not lie, then tell her out or the cops will be called. That should wake and shake her, plus she is putting your family in harms way, when one person knows there is drugs, others begin to follow,,,,,,,,,

02/04/2011 03:21 AM
darlenemomof2
darlenemomof2  
Posts: 40
Member

I hear you but I don't live there so it is not my decision if I were living there she would have been out a long time ago. I worry about my parents but really feel powerless in this situation if I did call the local law enforcement I know my mom would deny everything and protect my sister I actually do not even have a camera phone. My plan at this point is to continue to back up my mother try to find a way for her to keep her medication safe yet accessible to her as needed empower my mom to stop accepting the abuse and know that I will be there. I all so want to try to talk with my father I know he does not want to get involved but I need to get him to understand that if he loves my mother he must see how much she is being hurt by this so my plan is to take him out for lunch (he likes Chinese and the rest of them in that house do not) then when I have him alone he may be willing to talk about the situation.

02/04/2011 05:11 AM
BrandieZ
BrandieZ  
Posts: 613
Senior Member

Wow, you really have your hands full and I can understand your situation because you already have your hands full.

My old boss (I worked for these people for over 4 years) has a son that is addicted to opiates. He is a very smart person and is an electrition. He knew how to disable the alarm system with out a code and would break into the office and steal money. This place was mostly a cash business and in a year he stole over 50,000 dollars to support his habit. I finally sat down with ma and told her that by her hiding this and protecting him she was enabling him to keep using drugs. She finally told her husband and they had an intervention. Tresspassed him off the property and changed all the locks, safe codes and put more security. He broke in again and stole over3,000. They finally called the police and arrested him a couple months later after he made the most wanted list. Well his sister is still protecting him and I can't get her to see how she is not helping but damaging him. He has gotten to the point he is taking over 20 pills a day at 30 mg (Roxy's aka street name blues) and is at the point he is going to start shooting the pills (is what he told me because snorting them does not work anymore). These pills are a real big problem where I live!

I am so sorry your family has to go through this, I wish there was some advice for you but like you said you don't live there and you have your own problems to fight with.

I really do wish you the best........

Brandie


02/04/2011 06:58 AM
nanavick
nanavick  
Posts: 772
Member

I really don't have much advice for you as I have had some of the same situations, but not my sister my niece. My sister finally decided to stop baleing her out of her situations and she ended up doing time. The drugs are not a problem anymore, but she still has a horrid drinking problem. It is hard on the whole family when someone has a terrible problem like you sister, but what is worse she has no concern for your mother. If she cannot give your mom the love and support that she needs at the time then maybe jails the answer. I just can't imagine the pain you are going through right now. I lost my mom Oct. 26 2010 and would do anything to have her back, I guess I just don't understand why dad doesn't get more involved, her last days on this earth should be spent with love, caring, and compassion not abuse. Good Luck My Heart Goes out to you and I will keep you and your mother in my prayers. Hugs Vickie

02/04/2011 09:13 AM
darlenemomof2
darlenemomof2  
Posts: 40
Member

Good news I spoke with my mom today and she is starting to listen to some of the things I have been saying and she is going to talk to her doctor about taking a different medication than Oxycontin as he had suggested something else prior that she would take once a day. She is also reconsidering her position in keeping her in the house as my sister is now hitting her up for money. Although as good as it is for me to hear I will believe it when I see it.

02/05/2011 05:57 AM
nanavick
nanavick  
Posts: 772
Member

I am so glad to here that. Just keep reasoning with your mom and things should go in the right direction. May you find some answers and peace at this very hard time. Hugs Vickie

02/10/2011 10:26 PM
SAT
SAT  
Posts: 661
Senior Member

Just introducing myself. New to this group. I haven't been on mdjunction in awhile. Not because I didn't want to but having a lot of problems that kept me tied up. Still working on them but hoping things will begin to move forward a little. Hope to benefit from your collective wisdom and hope I can also provide support to others.

SAT


02/11/2011 07:49 PM
patty777

Welcome back Angela, we all missed you...

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