MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
01/26/2011 02:59 AM

Just wanted to introduce myself

darlenemomof2
darlenemomof2  
Posts: 40
Member

I am a single mother with two kids my oldest son has moderate Autism and my youngest has Pervasive Development Disorder. My youngest son has violent tantrums where he is destructive and can harm people around him. I don't even go to my family for support as they already have so much going on. My mother is bipolar and fighting cancer I am so glad she has my step father who loves her tries his best to take care of her. Unfortunately my parents also have living with them my sister who is also bipolar she should not be living with them because she is not supposed to be around her kids that she lost custody of but my mom with her cancer can not take care of them alone, I understand this. My parents have custody of my niece of age 3 and nephew age 5. My nephew age 18 is also living with them. Which would be fine if my nephew was actually paying rent properly he has a full time job and gives them a hundred dollars a month, really. My sister forces my mom to cut her pills for pain in half and give it to her, mom is on Oxycontin she is constantly in pain from her cancer. I can not go over there I confronted my sister once when she had cornered my mom in her bedroom for her medication one day I should not have done it I had my children with me and she yelled at me called my children bad and messed up my overloaded step father did nothing but tell me he loved me and thanked me for coming by. Yes I am a part of a dysfunctional family but I have not yet found a way to deal with it so I do not go over but I call my mom almost every day.
Reply

01/26/2011 04:05 AM
patty777

WoW, Welcome Darlene, you really are going through so much.

I wonder if your family could get some outside help, it seems so unfair. All these kids still lean on her so much ,yet she is suffering. I lost my sis at 40 to breast Cancer, I was so devastated. I took her kids in on the week ends. I also took in others, it really is very hard.

Your Sister should not take your Mom's medicine, thats so unfair. I know this has to be hard on you , knowing right from wrong, but yet you see it being done.

I always wondered if intervention in families ever really worked? The only time I heard of one going around my area was for a friend's brother-in-law who is an alcoholic and still is.

But they should consider whole family interventions to clean up the act of others doing wrong to one another. Just a though to think about...


01/26/2011 12:17 PM
Lazy1
Lazy1  
Posts: 2771
Senior Member

Welcome to the group and sorry that you are dealing with so much.

01/26/2011 03:42 PM
darlenemomof2
darlenemomof2  
Posts: 40
Member

My mother does not want anything to happen to my sister even if she is doing something wrong. I disagree but she begs me not to do anything that is why I do not go over I can not sit back and watch I have my boys to take care and that is enough in it's self. I am just glad that I have a place now where I can get things out. I have been keeping so much inside for so long being there for everyone yet not having anyone to lean on myself.

01/26/2011 07:06 PM
patty777

Thats so true Darlene

And thats why we are here for you. You can vent or let it all out. These things that happen in families are not right. Now we need to support each other and maybe come up with some techniques to combat our situations in our families....we are here for you as a whole group to support one another...so let it all out and scream if need be....

Welcome Dear, we got you back....lots of support...


01/31/2011 09:01 PM
Kelti
Kelti  
Posts: 4184
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I guess some family interventions can be solved in part when certain things are taken out of the picture. Can your mom lock up her pills to keep them away from sis? can dad assist in this and hold the key and not let sis know about where he keeps it? I'm sure she might just use that as another reason to have a fit. so let her have one. she's going to have a fit over one thing or another anyway.Maybe she'll eventually have to find some where else to go for her fix.Oh Darn!By the way, splitting oxycontin can cause death, seisures, etc. A very dangerous thing to do.

02/01/2011 02:49 AM
darlenemomof2
darlenemomof2  
Posts: 40
Member

I think my dad is just so overwhelmed I really can not understand why he is not backing my mother up on this as he is there for her for everything else. I have said as much before to no avail. My mom does lock up her medication this has not stopped the medication from going missing. She has to take her medication at certain times of the day and my dad is at work all day, she generally takes a nap each day with her condition she gets exhausted. In the past when she refused to "share" while she was asleep somehow 75% of the bottle contents would disappear my sister would point the finger at her son that lives there age 18 and he would point the finger at his mom or my sister would tell my dad that my mom has been taking too much medication here recently and has been doubling up on her meds and that is why it is so low. She is one of those people who could convince you of just about anything except me she lied so much I do not believe anything she says. It is such a mess over there and when I tried to intervene my dad did not back me up even though my mom thanked me over and over the next day for speaking up for her. I really have no solution at this time I just keep my distance I am one of those people who find it hard to keep my mouth shut when I do not agree with something and can not be over there with out saying something. I told my mom that she needs to ask the doctor for a different pain medication that if it was not Oxycontin my sister would not bother her so much for it but I think my mom is just as hooked on it as my sister although she has a legitimate reason to take it. Thank you for your suggestions.

02/01/2011 06:12 AM
patty777

That is just a total shame. For someone to use another's medicine just for recreational use, she should be told off or at least talked to.

Now if your Mom runs out too early, they wont refill it.They keep track of all narcotics and watch how much your using them...thats a shame.

I don't blame you for not wanting to go over there, I know I would probably speak up , just the same.


02/02/2011 04:03 AM
ductydawn
ductydawnPosts: 1153
Senior Member

Well, is there a neighbor you trust near your mom, that could be paid a small amount of money to go over and give your mom her meds. and then take them with her/him???

This is such a poor situation, that it seems someone out of the loop needs to take charge.

See if you can get a neighbor, a friend, another family member not attached to this problem?

The only other thing is to get a medial aide, but they won't be able to take the meds with them,,,,,,see if this helps, search everywhere!!!

Also look into getting a better locking system for the meds. and make sure the keys are in someone safe, hands.

Post edited by: ductydawn, at: 02/02/2011 04:05 AM


02/02/2011 05:19 AM
BrandieZ
BrandieZ  
Posts: 613
Senior Member

Hi Darlene momof2, I am going to be very blunt with you, I am really concerned with the sister that is taking your moms pills, I worked in a detox center and opiates (your moms pain meds) is a real BAD addiction and a person can be physically addicted to these pills where if they do not take them can get violently ill! Your mom needs them but your sister is probably at the point where if she does not take them she is getting the physical withdrawls and is probably the reason she forces your mom to share! Now the withdrawls makes a person fell like they are going to die but the fact is THEY WILL NOT DIE!

I am not trying to scare you but give you some facts that I have worked with first haned......9 out of 10 people at the detox center were addicted to opiates and the addiction only gets worse. Someone has to get those pills out of the house now or your mother will eventually not get any of her pain meds and your sister will only get worse.....

I wish you the best and good luck!

Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:
<< Start < Prev 1 Next > End >>


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved