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Misssy2 Posts: 28
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He is so immature for a 25 year old..He got out of jail in November..and when he did, he had a GRATEFUL attitude and presence..lately he acts like a 17 year old..if he doesn't get his way he whines.."you should be my mother, you should care more". tonight at 11:30 he goes and puts clothes in the washing machine....my youngest son has to get up for work in the morning and sleeps down there with the laundry units. I told my oldest NOT to wash those clothes tonight...he walked right past me and said I have to wash them for work. I said you had to wash them for work AFTER work instead of laying around the house with your girlfriend...find something else to wear tomorrow...he kept walking. The washing machine is turning now...just like my stomach. I just went in and told him (sleeping in my living room with a mattress on the floor)...that THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN and that he is being VERY IGNORANT to his brother. I told him this is MY house and while he is in it..he will follow my rules...I'm so angry right now....He says I'm on his back everyday..and I am because he takes, takes, takes and never gives anything but lip in return. Tomorrow we will be making the "plan" for him moving out..he will need to save money and we will need to figure out how long this is going to take...because I can't take this much longer...he has a 3 year old too...that does not live with us...so he whines about that too...even thou his drug use put him in this situation..I let the "family" come over more than I care too...and he is just never happy...and now I am extremely angry and unhappy.
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Peace77 Posts: 5493
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Hi Missy ..WELCOME to the Group..what your doing with your son is good to teach him to be responsible . I have a 25 yo old son , but he has disabilities in some areas. I am happy he decided that being on SSI is no longer for him, he found a job and makes 2x the amount SSI gave him and it gives him something to get his self esteem up. I dont believe my son can be out on his own, he will let me know. But he helps so much around here, I wouldn't want him to leave, Your situation is quite different than mine. If your son makes enough money, then yes, he should be out on his own. Funny how when we were young , we couldn't wait until we had our own places and made our parents proud. In my case with all 9 kids , we were told at 18..out with our blessings...LOL...so much different today. It's great to have you on the group with us!!! Welcome always to vent away, give advise or just play a few games..it kind of gets us out of the house in our minds talking with others who have the same or similar problems... Hope you post again...let us know how it is going with the move out... Many Gentle hugs Patty Love and Peace, Patty
"If you planted hope today in any hopeless heart, If someone's burden was lighter because you did your part, If you caused a laugh that chased a tear away, If tonight your name is mentioned when someone kneels to pray, Then your day was well spent." |
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Angela2 Posts: 2498
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Patty, your situation is so different and your son sounds like a gem! I'm very proud of him and you're more fortunate then many of us in that respect. I'm wondering if it isn't OUR children who have the disabilities and your son is the loving soul. What he was shorted on in some respects, it seems like he was given extra in kindness, being loving, taking on responsibility, etc. Welcome, Missy! I replied to you in other threads, but forgot my manners until Patty reminded me. (Haha) We're so glad you joined us! Was your 25 year old son out of your house at one point and returned? Can I guess that it was your youngest son that acknowledge you on Mother's Day and your oldest one forgot all about it? |
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Misssy2 Posts: 28
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Yes, but my youngest son also acknowledged me from down cellar...but to his credit..he is the one without a job and he has said to me in the past that he feels awful on these holidays when he can't get me anything...I say I don't care...when in fact it seems like I do...but he was probably just embarassed...NO, it was my oldest son, the one I bought the car for...let his girl and baby hang out..and yes, he was out and back again because he went to jail and lost his place. I help him because he NEEDS it..my youngest will get a job as soon as he gets a car and be ok. my youngest doesn't have 3 felonies...my oldest does from his drug abuse...they are both good kids..I know that sounds strange..but I am in the dysfunctional family room right? |
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Peace77 Posts: 5493
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Yes , Missy you are in the right group. I can totally relate to my son, he is 25...but he is doing 100% better than he ever did before. But it was one Hell of a roller coaster of emotions to get to this point in his life. For me a broken heart...I know exactly what you feel and it hurts...I am so sorry for what our grown kids do to us!! Many Gentle Hugs Patty Love and Peace, Patty
"If you planted hope today in any hopeless heart, If someone's burden was lighter because you did your part, If you caused a laugh that chased a tear away, If tonight your name is mentioned when someone kneels to pray, Then your day was well spent." |
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claphappy Posts: 3393
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I have read this post a few times. I can't offer much advice. Stay strong and go after what you believe is right. From what I read your doing good. I have 2 sons and they are like night and day. I often have to say YES they had the same Mom. Charlotte CLAP are my initials.
Therefore do not lose heart, though outwardly we are wasting away Yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16
"Teach me the glory of my cross; teach me the value of my thorn. Show me that I have climbed to Thee by the path of pain. Show me that my tears have made my rainbows." ~Streams in the Desert |
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Peace77 Posts: 5493
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Missy My son has done things in the past that were very wrong. But he has spiritually grown and I am so thankful for that. He is the son, I always wanted...I love him dearly and I have taught him forgiveness and unconditional love. My coping skills when he was going through severe times were to help him know he is loved by a much higher power, and he will grow someday..and he has. Gentle Hugs Patty Love and Peace, Patty
"If you planted hope today in any hopeless heart, If someone's burden was lighter because you did your part, If you caused a laugh that chased a tear away, If tonight your name is mentioned when someone kneels to pray, Then your day was well spent." |
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sifted Posts: 915
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"I told him this is MY house and while he is in it..he will follow my rules" Every parent says this to their kids but do we carry it out properly and what are the consequences if they disrespect us? I just yelled this to my kids over the last little while because of their behaviour and disrespect. They are 14 and 11. 14yr old daughter is wanting to go to parties and drink, and is smoking pot. My 11yr old son will be doing the same soon enough I'm sure. Its not even this behaviour that freeks me out because I went through this when I was their age and still toke occasionally, It's the lack of respect that I want to nip in the butt. My dad told me if I don't like his rules I could leave, so I did, I was 18yrs, but I always showed them respect! Respect is earned, I know this, I demand it from them, but I don't always get it, I keep demanding it, I am sure you missy are too! Good luck, keep demanding it! "Satan has asked to sift you all as wheat. But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers and sisters" |
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claphappy Posts: 3393
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sifted when you say "Every parent says this to their kids but do we carry it out properly and what are the consequences if they disrespect us? being consistent is so worth the work it requires. Say what you mean do what you say. I want to be better with it Charlotte CLAP are my initials.
Therefore do not lose heart, though outwardly we are wasting away Yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16
"Teach me the glory of my cross; teach me the value of my thorn. Show me that I have climbed to Thee by the path of pain. Show me that my tears have made my rainbows." ~Streams in the Desert |
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sifted Posts: 915
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Clap, I put that out as a point to ponder. I try to follow "let your yes's mean yes and your no's mean no" which is another way of saying being consistant,,, I try to be, but know I not always am. "Satan has asked to sift you all as wheat. But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers and sisters" |
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"When I was diagnosed about 18 months ago with fibromyalgia, I didn't know where to turn. I got on my computer and looked for a support group where I could talk to other people with the same disease and get some help...Information, suggestions, mostly just what I can do now that I have this.....disorder/disease/syndrome...I didn't even know what to call it. I found MDJ, and yes, there was a support group for fibro. I started a post, and figured I would never get an answer. However, very quickly I was welcomed in, and became really involved in the group. I received help, support, friendship and the feeling of being truly cared about by these strangers who had become like family to me. Now, I have been here for about a year and a half...I have become a group leader, and love every minute of it. It is so wonderful to be able to help others. I still receive help and answers from the members in this group. The fibromyalgia is where I go to help, support, listen, care and even laugh. I don't know what I would do without this group." (mabri)
