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04/28/2012 11:49 AM

Boy do I have to vent!

seeknpeace
seeknpeace  
Posts: 62
Member

I am so totally frustrated! My mother recently passed away and unfortunatly she made me executor for her will. She left more debts than assets and I am going to have to clean up that mess. The bigger problem is that she let a sister live with her that is a criminal, has no conscience, and is a drug addict. My mom lived in a coop that I can't put on the market until the sister moves out, the place is cleaned up, inspected by the coop, and they approve an application to sell it. In the mean time my sister had gone into my mother's bank account the day after she died and stole all but a dollar and change out of the account. She stole my other sister's AAA card and has been using it to have a "boyfriend's" car towed all over. The sister with the AAA card had to call AAA and put an alert on her card and a passcode in order to use it. The same sister with the stolen AAA card has also been alerted that the criminal sister is trying to use her bank card and she had to cancel that also.

The criminal sister had also before I could arrive from out of state, cleaned out the house of most everything of any value. There probably will be nothing left to sell before she leaves. In the meantime I have to keep the water and electric on until after the place is sold per coop. I have turned off the cable so she no longer has cable tv or internet service. I am sure that is driving her crazy because she does a lot of her criminal activity over the internet. She has always seemed to get off easy. She once had the FBI blockade their street, search my mother's house and take out computers. My criminal sister made a deal to be an informant and didn't get charged for money laundering and internet fraud schemes that bilked people out of their money. She was arrested for using 3 different peoples credit cards, but she only got probation. She was arrested for cocaine possession and got off light for that also. Now she has to appear in court for stealing somewhere between $65,000 to $70,000 from a very famous person and somehow got a deal to a 3rd degree crime and possible probation if she goes into an intensive outpatient program.

I totally can't believe how much she has gotten away with and I know she does even far more than she has been caught at.

I am so frustrated!!!! I am so upset because I am stuck as executor of my mother's estate and I live more than 9 hours away and I have a huge mess to clean up because of this criminal sister having stolen continually from my mother and my mother constantly bailing her out to the point that she died in tremendous debt. My freeloading criminal sister is still stealing from my deceased mother and she has all the rights.

I am at a total loss as to what to do at this point. When I was in that state, I went to the police who sent me to the sheriff's, who sent me to the coop office and back around again before the coop contacted their attorney to see if they could do anything. The coop wants her out because she is under 55 years old and also she is a danger to that entire neighborhood. In the meantime the police and sheriff's offices tell me it could take a year to get her evicted.

I don't have the money to pay for the electric and water for that place for my freeloading criminal sister. I feel like those of us that are law abiding have no rights.

I really can't wait for this sister to leave and so I am able to sell my mother's coop, take care of what debts can be and let the others know that nothing is left. At that point I will wash my hands of my freeloading criminal sister and I know that my brother and other sister will also and she will no longer have anyone to bail her out or cover for her anymore. The best thing that could really happen to her is to spend a long time in jail. She has gotten off too easy too many times and she just proves over and over that she has no intention of ever straightening out her life.

I am so frustrated right now!!!!! WHY DO THE CRIMINALS KEEP GETTING PROTECTED???

Between the abuse I endured as a child from my parents and now this, I am so upset and frustrated. I have at times told different counselors I have been to that if I ever wrote a book about my life there is no way anyone would believe it, they would think I was delusional. No wonder I have gone to counseling over and over again in my lifetime for PTSD, panic attacks, anxiety and depression. Thank God I am currently in counseling and seeing a psychiatrist because this is all stressing me tremendously and was giving me panic attacks again. I pray nonstop for this mess with my sister to be over, it is entirely too overwhelming. Sad

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04/28/2012 12:17 PM
Peace77
Peace77  
Posts: 9082
Group Leader

Welcome Seek..

This sounds horrible, for your Mom to put you in this position of taking care of a will that has nothing. I think you can get an attorney to protect you and you should.

I think you mean this is your sister or is it your aunt (your mom's sister)? Either way, she does belong to do some time for this criminal behavior. Its the opposite here, your guilty till proven innocent. But I have heard people tell me that this happens often. If I were you, if she has no claim on the coop, not in her name get her to pay the bills. The ones your paying for, the utilities. They would throw her out because she is not paying them. Or shut the utilities off, she can't stay there then. They would go after her because she lives there illegally without your consent,....thats the best advise I could give you.

But you need to take her to court!! You will get reimbursed for what she has done to you. Maybe not in money but definitely with time in jail. You can't steal from the deceased, its against the law. She would surely be prosecuted, and sent to jail. That would give you long enough time to get her things out and sell the coup.

I will be thinking of you..please let us know if anything good happens and things get straightened out ..Hopefully.

Caring much,

Patty


04/28/2012 12:34 PM
seeknpeace
seeknpeace  
Posts: 62
Member

It is my sister. My mother's youngest and she protected her big time. I am praying she gets sent to jail on May 11 it is her court date for the $65,000-$70,000 dollars. I am praying big time she gets sent to jail, but I have heard she may possibly get off with probation. This sister has also let her boyfriend come in and live with her. I have heard from some reliable sources that the police are looking into further charges. I got the impression from the police and sheriff's department that she is pretty well known by them and they also would like to see her spend some time in jail.

I am praying that May 11 she ends up in jail, the boyfriend is gone and another sister and her husband can get in, change the locks and clean it out so I can sell it. I am lucky I have another sister nearby that will clean it out for me. We all just pray that this criminal sister gets jail time, because the criminal sister, boyfriend and the people she hangs out with are very dangerous.

I had also gone to a realtor and signed papers for it to be able to go on the market without hopefully me returning to that state. I already spent a week there trying to get everything done that I could so that hopefully I will not have to return.

Thank you Patti, I will let you know what happens and I really hope for a good outcome very soon.

Post edited by: seeknpeace, at: 04/28/2012 12:35 PM


04/28/2012 01:41 PM
Peace77
Peace77  
Posts: 9082
Group Leader

Your Welcome Seek..

I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers...its so hard when a sibling turns on you. It really makes you wonder what happened? Mostly because you were raised by the same parents!

Well, keep us informed...thinking of you in this hard time of your life!!

Caring thoughts

Patty


04/28/2012 02:28 PM
claphappy
claphappy  
Posts: 4022
VIP Member

I agree that criminals get far to many rights. You are not alone on the rental/owners rights are minimal. We (husband and I) tried to get his ex wife out of a place he rented for the kids which she lived in. It was 6 months before the sheriff came and moved her things(all junk) out to the curb. We then went in and cleaned and had to pay for all damages. Also the owner would not let us out of our lease until someone new was living in the unit. He made us place an ad and show it. He showed up when the new renter was ready to sign a lease. It was a nightmare. I know what you are going through. All I can say this to will pass. Believe me the sheriff and police and neighbors want her out. We did recruit a neighbor to keep an eye on the place and tell us if she had visited. This was after we had her locked out. In this time she broke the door. Yes, we paid for a new one.

04/28/2012 05:37 PM
seeknpeace
seeknpeace  
Posts: 62
Member

Thank you Patty for prayers, I really appreciate them! I went to church this evening and got to talk with my priest for a little bit, that was helpful. Claphappy it helps to know someone else went through something somewhat similar. It is so hard right now, I feel like I can't take the time to grieve and really take care of my mother's estate because of this sister. I am worried about how long it will take for her to leave and I pray she or her "friends" don't damage the place. I don't have the money to keep the water and electric on and until she gets out I don't even have the possibility of an estate sale of anything that may possibly be left so I can pay for the electricity and water until the place is sold. It is hard to believe how we could possibly be related. In many ways unfortunately my mother contributed to it by covering for her and bailing her out.

The good thing is that when this is finally over,my sister no longer has anyone to bail her out and she will have to face the consequences of her actions. It is long overdue for her to have to pay the price for her actions.

I am lucky the sister that lives nearby knows a few of the neighbors and has contacted them to let her know if anything happens. The bad thing is that sister doesn't have a car that is working and she can't go by very often herself. She can only go by when she can borrow a car from a friend, and she will need to also do that to clean out the place and to do an estate sale.

My brother was glad I got out of that house and only stayed two nights there. I was terrified for my life staying there and moved in with the other sister for the rest of the week. I wish I was not 9 hours away from there so that I could keep an eye on things and be able to go and change the locks as soon as I could.

We are praying she is sent to prison May 11. I will be anxiously waiting to hear word from my other sister until she can get in and change the locks and clean out the place to sell it. I can't wait for the day it is sold and I am sure the neighbors feel the same way.

I pray this does not go on for long.

Thank you so much for letting me vent and know I have people that care and understand.


04/29/2012 04:06 AM
Angela2
Angela2  
Posts: 2513
VIP Member

Seek, welcome! First I'd like to offer my condolences to you for the loss of your mother. That is a heartbreaking time of life.

Your criminal sister seems to be the type of person that no one should have to tolerate and you have my sympathy.

Is there a reason that you legally have to leave the utilities on in the condo? Does the coop assoc. require it or is there a law saying you have to since your sis lives there? If the answer is, "No", it could rush along the process of your sis leaving on her own rather then waiting for an eviction. Is there any possibility that you could get the utilities transferred to her name so she would be responsible for them rather then your mother's estate?

It sounds like it's a senior community so she has no right to be there and I'm surprised that doesn't call for an immediate eviction or 30 days or some short period of time.

Is she on the lease and if not, why would eviction take so long? My guess is she was never pre-approved to live there because of her criminal history and being underage. It has to be so frustrating for you since it seems like laws are often designed to protect the bad guys.

I don't know much about the legal process and can never understand it because it often seems to be so unfair. Your mother was an enabler and that's never a good thing, but she was probably in denial and did it out of love hoping that your sister would grow up and change. Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen.

You're in my prayers and let us know how this turns out.


04/29/2012 06:50 PM
seeknpeace
seeknpeace  
Posts: 62
Member

Angela2, Thank you for the prayers, I really appreciate them. Unfortunately the coop and the state requires that the electricity and water stay on until the place is sold. The place has to be inspected by the coop before I can sell it and they check that everything is working and the state does the same at time of sale.

I talked with my criminal sister today and she got an eviction letter from the coop with a 20 day notice to leave. Looks like all my trips to the police, sheriff and coop office finally did pay off. The coop wanted me to get the police to do it and the police told me the sheriff's office had to do it and the sheriff's office told me I would have to get a lawyer and it would cost me for the lawyer, court charges, sheriff charges to serve the papers and then it could take up to a year and they felt the coop could get it done quicker since she is under age.

My criminal sister told me she was packing and she was upset the coop sent her that notice and she commented they don't realize she planned on being out of there sooner than that. I am doing as the police told me to do, try to stay on friendly terms with her (fake it if need be) and if I am lucky she may cooperate and leave peacefully. I am still trying that, but it sure is frustrating to be so far away and not able to check on the place to make sure she doesn't destroy it.

Thank you for the condolences and prayers. It is so hard to take the time to grieve and take care of her estate and I am also on medical leave from my job because of a really bad work situation that has triggered my PTSD panic attacks and anxiety badly. I am praying like crazy, going to church almost every day, going to counseling, and taking each day a minute at a time.

I was lucky and a friend took me out for lunch today and we spent hours talking with each other. I came home to find out from a coworker that someone that has been trying to get my job is now signing her emails with my position on them so she has been given my position and I have no idea if I will have a job when I am released to go back. Something else to add to my stress level. Prayers and minute by minute.....


04/30/2012 01:22 PM
Angela2
Angela2  
Posts: 2513
VIP Member

Seek, I'm sorry to hear about the employment situation. When it rains, it pours.

Not long ago I was going through an awful time with one coworker and she also wanted my job, not that it's glorious, by any means. Her plan was to get me fired, take my job, then try to get her friend hired to replace the position she had because her friend wasn't given raises with everyone else where she is employed. She actually pulled something similar off years ago and I was her victim and I was determined it wasn't going to happen this time. So far I've lucked out and I hope you do, too.


04/30/2012 05:00 PM
seeknpeace
seeknpeace  
Posts: 62
Member

Thank you. I have to keep believing in the long run this will all work out and most likely for the better. Since 2006 I have worked under 8 different managers and at the moment in an interim manager, they come and go but I was the office coordinator the whole time. The last year with change of management has been awful! The person that wanted my position and looks like she got it found a manager that she could kiss up to and lie about me and looks like she got her way. In all honesty if they don't fire me or put me into a different position it would be a blessing. I was getting treated like a doormat, and had no rights, the lies were treated as the truth and I had no rights at all. I am praying that when I come back from medical leave that they don't have plans to fire me that day over some other made up reason and that they would move me out of a "supervisory" position that gets all the blame but has not rights or authority to make needed changes. I really wish I could find another job and could go back one day and give my notice.

I really hope I get a new position without the supervision responsibilities I had with no real authority and was the target for a lot of abuse and used as a scapegoat. It would be nice, especially with FMLA they can replace my position but they have to give me one of equal pay. I would keep my 10+ years seniority and benefits that way. I am just afraid that with how dirty they are there I will return and be told later in the day that I no longer work there. I just really hope as my counselor keeps telling me they can't fire you with FMLA, but knowing that job it will not surprise me if they let me come back just long enough to do that.

Post edited by: seeknpeace, at: 05/01/2012 10:40 AM

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