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04/16/2012 05:49 PM

Stay at Home Moms Vs Career Mom's

Peace77
Peace77  
Posts: 9082
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I was just wondering others opinions on this subject.

I had no choice but to work, I always felt bad. My son said he wished I would have been able to Home school him, being he learned worse behaviors in school than at home.

Then when you got called in for a meeting, funny they questioned me on what was going on in the home?? HUH??

That always made me so mad..I almost thought I would leave work and go on welfare just to stay home with my son.

I believe Stay at home Mom's do work just as hard as career moms. I always told my husband , I had 2 full time jobs...He thought this was funny...no it was very hard. Either way a womans job is never done

Bless you ..All Moms!!!Smile

Post edited by: Peace77, at: 04/16/2012 05:49 PM

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04/16/2012 06:28 PM
claphappy
claphappy  
Posts: 4022
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A hard but good question.

I was a stay at home Mom for the first 12 years I had my boys. I did work hard at my children and the home we lived in like work Mom's. Because of the extra time I was able to help out in the school and the Cub Scouts. In a way it was harmful to the relationship my kids had with their Dad. Because I was always there he didn't have to be.

Once I did go to work, my youngest was 12, I feel my kids were home alone. That's when things started happening in our home. Dad just didn't fill in all the gaps, but was there for the big things. Once I came home and was told my older son jumped off the roof, sprained his ankle real bad. Where was Dad? home Dad's will have to play a bigger role if Moms are going to work.

I was successful in my work. I felt it would do my boys good to see how to do this.

It was only when I had to stop work did Joe start helping out with house work. Of course I just could not do much at first.

I do know many many kids who are home schooled. We will be attending a Graduation of another child this June. They do grow up sheltered, but for krumps sake they are kids. I have seen some take the step into adult hood and they are better off for it. I didn't do this as I felt I wasn't right for it. I was depressed and wanted my children to see another form of adult in the teachers. By the time I wanted to home school, they didn't want to.


04/18/2012 08:33 AM
DonnaEvans77
DonnaEvans77  
Posts: 3031
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I was a stay at home, Mom, but even then, I was in the horse business. While my daughter was in school during the days, I was working with horses. In the evening, I had clients, but my daughter always came first. My father's daughter was gone most of the time. He was in the Air Force, and while he was stationed here at Whiteman AFB, we had the missle site then, so the husband was gone three four days, come home on the fourth, he had six days off in between. He didn't do much on his days off, I did most of the work. Then eventually he got shipped over seas, being we bought a home, it wasn't feasible for all of us to move due to house payments, he could stay on base housing. So most of the time my daughter was growing up, it was mainly me and her, he was gone most of the time. So I was not only her mother but her father as well. I was working with horses as well, I had clients as well, due to I also gave riding lessons, as well as I was standing a stallion, so had outside mares to get bred. I was busy all the time, and also has all the mother things to do on top of that. Men have no clue how hard we work, whether we're Stay at home Moms or not. My career was an Appaloosa trainer, as well as breeder. I worked at home as well. It was none stop. I didn't home school my daughter, which I felt I rather her go to a public school, I wanted her to make friends, and with us living out in the country, that's the only way she'd get amongst other kids other than at the horse shows, which were about every weekend starting in March and going well into November, depending if I had a horse or a client's horse qualify for the World show. I loved what I did and even got to see my daughter succeed in her youth classes at the shows. I kind of miss it, but don't miss my ex. GBhugs, Donna

04/19/2012 02:38 PM
Peace77
Peace77  
Posts: 9082
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I'm surprised to find only a few opinions on this subject. It was a very hard decision for me because of finances, but if I could do it again..I would consider of home schooling more than ever. So many kids do so well with Home Schooling compared to public schools..and I am very proud of those Mom's or even stay at Home Mom's as well...

PattySmile


04/20/2012 09:30 PM
mem9113

Well my dear friend, I have to remember to way back when I had little ones running around, I juggled 4 kids and a fulltime job and came home did the dinner and the kids cleaned up but I had some form of human interraction, I also was fortunate with m 5th child to be home with him and I can tell you, you never get to clock out! I was constantly cleaning, shopping or cooking, changing diapers, bathing him feeding him cleaning him up ready for bed and the only adult conversation I had was at the grocery store, very hard to stay home and be a mother, its very lonely, don't get me wrong I loved being with my son and while he would nap I would get alot of cleaning done instead of relaxing myself, but relaxing has never been in my nature which is part of my problemSmile If I can think of anything else besides the financial aspect, wow childcare was just too expensive and staying home means relying on 1 paycheck, I was a coupon clipperSmile

04/22/2012 08:42 AM
Angela2
Angela2  
Posts: 2513
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Adele, what a cute picture!

I was a working mom. I would never even suggest that a stay at home mom doesn't work or isn't busy or is less of a person then a working mom. But I personally know how hard it is to have a job plus be a housekeeper, cook, and mother. It only makes sense that a working mother is more torn, has more guilt both at work and at home, feels stressed and behind in all aspects of her life. Nearly every mother that I knew back then was a mother who worked outside of the home.

Girls, we messed things up ourselves when we decided to liberate ourselves and burn our bras back in the 60s. (KIND OF joking here, but it's worth a thought)

Post edited by: Angela2, at: 04/22/2012 08:44 AM


04/23/2012 06:47 AM
mem9113

I agree Angela, I had guilt as a working mother and another kind of guilt as a stay at home mom is that I wasn't contributing financially, always trying to find ways to make money from home never panned out, no ebay back then, lol!

04/23/2012 07:03 AM
DonnaEvans77
DonnaEvans77  
Posts: 3031
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I loved my career as a horse trainer/breeder. I sold foals, put a new roof on the house and siding. It gave me a good feeling that I was contributing to the house hold, and my job wasn't easy, as horses are like children, and they were 24/7 jobs, no vacation time, can't even classify a horse show as a vacation as I was on the go at shows like at home, from 5:00 A.M. in the morning till late at night. If I took a day off, it wasn't a day off. lol Mondays I didn't work horses after being gone all weekend at a show, but then I was doing laundry, cleaning house, of course not in that order as my daughter came first, still had stalls to clean, horses to feed, trailer to empty out and clean. So even the Mondays wasn't a day off, but I loved what I did. There was no slack at all. In the mean time, my husband, different one, not the one I'm married to now, he was in the Air Force, at the time we had the missile sites here in MO, he'd be gone for three and a half days gone, six days off, and what's he do, nothing!! Read and sleep, gee must be nice!! Not me! Glad he's out of my life. He could've helped me on those days off, but nope! My life didn't stop due to his six days off, I had way too much to do, and did it.

04/24/2012 10:20 AM
Peace77
Peace77  
Posts: 9082
Group Leader

I believe it works well either way. But if I was able to stay home, for my son..back then I would have. But our finances just wouldn't let me. When my son was young ,before school age, I worked nights and husband worked days, so he had us both at different times. That worked well then, but when he went to school , no choice but to use day care a few hours each day.

patty


04/24/2012 06:24 PM
Angela2
Angela2  
Posts: 2513
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I had the same kind of guilt as you, Adele. I always worked, but never made very much money, but it still helped. I felt guilty because I should've been home more often. Days at work could be pretty long because I'd be tired from going to a track meet or ballgame. We also had a garden and did canning and I also had huge flower beds.

None of it is that way now. We live in a small apartment so my flower space is limited and no garden space. I ended up being a disposable mother and that's given me a lot of pain and heartache so I guess none of my efforts were even worth it.

Donna, I grew up on a farm so I know just what you're saying. Sunday was our day off and that meant we only had to work about four hours. (Haha) Of course, our father still had to work a lot more then that, even on Sundays. Mother did, too. Even though a lot of women didn't work outside the farm at that time, they still worked very hard on the farm, but they didn't have a lot of the other issues we have to tolerate in the work world.

Patty, finances were what made me work then, too. Well, that and the fact that raising a child like that was extremely difficult and I'd have gone crazy if I'd have had to stay at home. Yes, that difficult even as a child.

If we lived like our ancestors did, we could still make it on one paycheck. But who wants to give up their AC and furnace and washer and dryer, tv, computer, extra car, etc?

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