Dysfunctional Families Online Support Group

I know I heard this in the late 70's ---and it is being played by local stations again---it distracts me from whatever I am worrying about.

I remember the 70's --'Smile--Have a Nice Day' and 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and it's all small stuff'.

No, it's not 'All Small Stuff' when lives are being destroyed but don't try to 'carry the stone' alone. Coming to terms with what is within your control and what is not is a major issue---and the guilt---I don't know how you escape that. Or perhaps not escape but put it into perspective.

Have a few pleasant moments today.

(((Hugs)))

Thank you

Patty

My counselor is great--he just listens. And little by little---the stuff comes out.

--My parents---both from 'strong religious backgrounds'--how sorry should I feel for them that they never seemed to internalize the message of the Bible. Great on the Old Testament---never seemed to have read the New.

Not very sorry, imo---I feel extremely sorry for my brother and myself. Just 'keep your mouth closed'--'private people'. Not me--I've told 'a lot' of people about my experiences--all seemed significantly horrified---had no 'answers' for me--certainly seemed to think this was not a good way to live.

that is of some consolation----

I have found more support and understanding in this group than almost anywhere I have attempted to find support and comfort. Not from 12 step programs, not from Sunday School classes---not from coworkers or friends---the world should be a bit more 'aware' or something. The new trend---just 'avoid contact' with those who seem to be dealing with unpleasant situations--doesn't impress me much and I won't live that way.

I suspect that 'mental illness'--so frequently discussed these days--in many cases is the result of 'dysfunctional families' and until you are 'free' to confront this---medication is not of much use. jmo. That is true for me.

I had an interesting dream yesterday--some kind of replay of my teaching experiences---only this time---I was able to 'prove' in every instance just who was 'at fault'--and then somehow I was given an opportunity to speak--and I spoke for quite some time and nobody stopped me. It was strange and liberating. My subconscious knows---it really knows what I need to do. Stand up for myself--parents---had their issues and didn't deal with them, school systems, people of all kinds--devout churchgoers included.

Some of the problems are mine---but what about the Others---it is past time to be cognizant of what goes on in our culture.

'A few' of us seem to know--hopefully others will 'catch on'.

This will be a good year---I am certain.

Life can be overwhelming at times. Remember we didn't choose our parents, so we just did the best we could do with what we had...I really dont understand what is going on in you mind, except your anger for society and what it did to you personally as a person.

This is all very sad..but I can reassure you others feel the same way.

You need to stay focused on your life now and forget the past, you cant change that past, anymore than I can change mine.

Take your therapy slowly and question your therapist..as to what their opinion is. If they dont speak to you,,there is no communication going on.

I can go in and tell off my Pdoc (Psychiatrist) and he would just sit and say this isn't you..this is the anger in you that your holding inside and please continue..its healthy for you. Now he is a pretty good doc..had him for 20 years...only see him bi-monthly now for 1 hour..

Well, I hope things look better to you this new coming year..as well as everyones..2011 was a tough one, thats for sure..

Caring hugs

Patty

Post edited by: patty777, at: 01/18/2012 07:51 PM

'The elephant in the room'---there was a problem in my family and I saw it---couldn't really 'do anything about it'---those around me tried to convince me that 'this is the way all families are'--and --It is You that have a 'problem'---now that would create some issues--i think we can all agree.

shrug--I lived to tell the story. I must have some strengths---no one ever noticed what might have been 'good' about me--this happens to many people.

i have reclaimed my 'Self'--pretty nice person--someone I would like to know.

Along the way I had several good counselors/psychologists and I didn't give up. I hope this route is easier for others---I would have liked to have gotten married, had children---not feel that those choices were never an option for me. My mother---after losing her own dignity and pride--couldn't really help me to find mine and that is said.

A lovely person, intelligent and good---how she and my father went so far off track, I can't say. He wasn't a bad man---low self esteem and all that.

I am 'sorry' for my parents but really feel entitled to my own life.

(((Hugs)))

Now we 'talk about issues'--no reason to 'hide' the family secrets. Some progress has been made. I think every celebrity is involved in some sort of foundation to raise awareness---and that is good.

My mother will still say---'You just have a bad attitude'. No--I have diabetes 2 and high blood pressure and I responded well to 20 mg of Paxil. It is my opinion that the negative way of thinking was a huge factor in the development of these illnesses. I can remember --how I was--before my family went off track and I was happy and active and could have done a lot more in my life.

sigh--whatever solutions you find---I wish you well. It seemed to be rather frustrating for me--the medical community doesn't seem to understand the role of 'stinking thinking' all that well.

I am rather pleased with myself---stood up for myself finally. I could be taking medication that was never needed---the shoddy way such diagnoses are made in some cases terrifies me. whatever.

I think with our new teachers this has changed, I hope anyway..pretty scary...I aloud my son to be abused..and that is sad...but put and end to it , thankfully..

You list Oppositional Defiant Disorder--so I will assume that is an issue that affected your son. My brother might have been diagnosed with that--maybe even myself--there was a lot of anger in our home---we 'learned' to behave that way. We didn't do it at school.

I worked with a lot of people that took any sign of 'anger'/frustration as 'bad'---it got pretty old. I certainly do hope the newer teachers are more informed about many issues that affect individuals. Education is the very last budget item that should be 'cut'--how dare anyone point a finger at public education and say--'Why isn't it working?'--cars won't work either unless properly diagnosed and repaired and maintained.

crazy---the world is crazy.

It wasn't your fault THEY mis diagnosed him. Blessings CLAP