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03/05/2011 07:02 AM

Issues , Pertaining to Family Matters(page 2)

nanavick
nanavick  
Posts: 772
Member

I came from a dysfunctional family as everyone had to compete with everyone else. I was not a fighter and still am not so was stepped on many a time and left alone in my own little corner of the family. My sister was and still is the princess of the family can do no wrong and is defenatly the favorite. My husband family seems to be a bit more functional with the exception on his brother. Everyone get along and loves to share their sorrows and joys with everyone else. His brother feels he is left out and pretty much crapped on all the time. I try so hard to be functional but my jealousy can sometimes get in the way. It is not that I feel I need to be center of attention but do like to have a little attention from time to time. I truely wish I could just get over that feeling and just love people for whom they are, don't know why since I got sick this is a big issue with me. Just felt that no one really was there for me in my time of need, not my family or his. I guess I am just as dysfunctional as always and really don't know how to stop it. I guess I just need to trust in God and not let others hurt my feelings so much. Hugs Vickie
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03/06/2011 09:45 AM
patty777

Thank you Vickie for sharing. It is true sibling rivalry, addictions, mental illness and any illness can contribute to an unhealthy family situation.

I wanted to start this group for this purpose...to have everyone involved in sharing their stories ...and others to give support and suggestions. I came from a super dysfunctional family, and it hasn't stopped there..I continue, but I'm working on things with all the help I get here..

I thank everyone in this Group, your all very special to me

Caring, Patty


03/06/2011 12:28 PM
mem9113

I think its horrible that most sibling rivalry is started by the parents, at least in my case, they pitted us against each other, my oldest brother was from a secret first marriage my mother had and no one ever knew why my father treated him like dirt but his other boy could do no wrong. They are adults and don't speak and aren't close because my oldest brother no matter how hard he tries to blame my father not my brother, he can't erase those memories. My older sister in the family was the pretty one and all the attention was put on her because she loved to run away and be wild and we were constantly chasing her and trying to figure out what was wrong with her. I speak with her occasionally but none of us are close. Now that my parents are both 76 years old they want us to all come and be a family, guess what, too late! Its sad because my siblings are strangers to me.

03/06/2011 03:15 PM
patty777

Sometimes parents do that with kids. But other times its just that we need attention..so the child goes after the one who gets the most from a parent. So yes in a way , Sibling rivalry does come from the parent...wow that is sad...just thinking...

Other issues are illness in the family...the whole family is involved with this...and it is sad for the victim of the illness..

What are your thoughts on that issue?? Anyone??


03/10/2011 08:08 PM
patty777

This really a discussion that needs to be discussed further...Issues include mental illness , all types of illness

controlling issues that we have been covering ...i think we should go deeper in thought to respect in families.

i know that is hard...i lack respect, and i want to get it back...do i have to earn it? I think I have..?? But how do we know for sure to get the respect back where it was?

Just thinking??


03/11/2011 08:29 PM
patty777

another good topic..would be how to get respect. I, personally feel all should respect one in other in families. But its so darn hard, when wrong has been done to you..

Does anyone feel this way , besides myself..Lack of respect??


03/12/2011 06:04 AM
mem9113

I don't know about lack of respect but I feel taken advantage of all the time, "oh mom will do it" even when i'm sick!

03/16/2011 11:04 AM
patty777

Adelle

Thats exactly how I feel right now...I'm so sick, but no one cares...LOL...they just come and say where is this and that...I'm like Damn , did you ever make it without me before? LOL

I think I'm being taken advantage of when I'm healthy...because I never realized how much I'm needed when I dont feel good

LACK OF RESPECT!!! that how my family is...I think I just got use to this behavior...figures..


03/16/2011 12:11 PM
mem9113

Patty,

I care! that is exactly what happened to me last week with the migraine!! i'm laying on the couch with screaming granchild around me covering my head with my robe so the light won't hit my eyes, hubby comes home from work and doesn't even ask or approach me at first, he acknowledges the grandchild and the dog and her poor leg and when he gets around to me i get the whats wrong? and whats the bank account number, he needed to withdrawl money for that darn boat! I felt very taken advantage of! like they walk all over me! Take care of yourself, tell them your sick, I yelled at my husband that he was more concerned with the dogs leg that night and he changed his tune and started asking if there was anything he could do for me, too little, too lateSick


03/16/2011 12:41 PM
nanavick
nanavick  
Posts: 772
Member

I am so sorry ladies that your husbands act exactly like mine does when I'm sick. I think the best one for me was after my heart surgery. He did very good for the fist week, then the middle of the next week he asked me when I thought I was going to be able to get off my butt and do something. Sometimes I wonder if that is some of the reason it took so much longer to really heal. I was lifting and doing things I probably really wasn't suppose to, but oh well we wouldn't want the king to have to vacumm and wash dishes, and other such ladies jobs. LOL I hope you get to feeling better Patty, it has been long enough for you to be sick. Hugs Vickie
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