Dual Diagnosed--Meetings or Relapse? Hmmm...!

Dual Diagnosed--Meetings or Relapse? Hmmm...!

by James Rist

I hate those damned meetings! I never WANT to go! Why then DO I go to THOSE MEETINGS!?

You know, I suspect, that I'm talking about NA meetings, AA meetings, bipolar support group meetings.

So what are my OTHER choices?

If I spend time alone, my mind races; I have too much time on my hands; I begin to dwell on my fantasies, failures, and pain; I get depressed; and I start playing "poor me." Eventually I relapse.

If I spend time with my loved ones and friends, I begin to feel that they don't understand me; I get depressed or angry; I isolate myself; and I start playing "poor me." Eventually I relapse.

If I spend time on the job, I feel stress; I get depressed or angry; I begin to feel that they don't understand me; I feel as though everybody's "on my case"; I isolate myself; and I start playing poor me. Eventually I relapse.

If I try to do things which are pleasurable and self-gratifying, it gets out of hand or excessive; I feel guilty and angry and selfish; I feel as though I am unique and no one understands me; and I start playing "poor me." Eventually I relapse.

So, what is "poor me?" It is a state of mind in which I allow myself to wallow in pain; a state of mind in which I give myself permission to "kill the pain" in a desperate effort to make my life more tolerable; a state of mind in which I can always find an excuse to do what I always did--to get drunk, to get high, or to run a rampant course of destruction through the lives of others.

It is no joke to say. "If I always do what I always did, I will always get what I always got!"

However, when I go to "those meetings", I am around people who understand me; people who have lived as I have lived; people who have learned to live WITHOUT suffering the pain of addiction or mental illness; people who have found happiness and self-worth--I am around people who give me no excuse for doing what I always did, and people who give me every reason to change.

So you might say I hate those damned meetings, but I LOVE the results!

Got it!?

Thanks, Y'all for helping me to get better!

If you are looking for someplace to start your recovery, you may want to visit a new group online.

Jim