Dual Diagnosis National Meeting 5/18/08

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MEETING GUIDELINES

TIPS AND USEFUL LINKS

Good morning, Y'all! Welcome all to the Dual Diagnosis National Meeting Group! Thanks for joining in. We hope you will continue to join in with us each Sunday at this time.

My name is Jim and I'll be your meeting chairperson as well as the moderator today.

This is a special meeting--a meeting to discuss a marriage. ...marriage between the number one mental illness worldwide and the fastest growing affliction in our society.

I am of course speaking of the marriage between Bipolar Disease and chemical addiction, alcoholism, substance abuse, or all three.

This is a special meeting, because we all, I assume, want to recover from these diseases.

This is a special meeting, because today perhaps you feel the same pain and desperation which I have felt; because you have, as I have, tried nearly EVERYTHING to escape that pain and desperation; because we have all, in a moment of clarity, realized that there MUST be a different way to live!

If those are among the reasons why you have joined in this meeting, then I want you to know that I love each and every one of you. I love you all because you are, as I am, determined to KEEP TRYING.

Therefore, for purposes of this group discussion, Dual Diagnosis is Bipolar Disease with alchoholism, addiction, or chronic substance.

The irony of my diseases--both BP and alcoholism/addiction--is that I had to admit to myself and to my doctors, therapists, and counselors that I have these diseases. It was, for me, a matter of telling the truth so that I could move on to effective treatment and recovery. I had to take down the barrier of denial that always had me saying, "I'm not that bad. I don't need help. If I just ignore it, it will go away." ...something like that.

Now..., I have often said "I AM bipolar, I AM an alchoholic, I AM an addict."

The use of the phrase "I AM..." somehow suggests that these diseases are my identity, doesn't it?

Understand, however, that these diseases are NOT my identity, and I am NOT my diseases!

The diseases DO nonetheless affect my state of mind and my moods.

I am here to suggest moreover that my state of mind, on the other hand, IS part of my identity. ...that the attitudes, beliefs, and reactions which accompany that state of mind ARE me!

...That, while the meds I have taken may alter my mood, they do not change my identity.

I am here to suggest that, while my attitudes, beliefs, and reactions remain the same as they have always been--negative, angry, self-seeking, destructive, remorseful, resentful, fearful, condescending, critical--that, while I live in the hell of isolation from others, terminal uniqueness, and the pain of being me--I will always relapse--I will always, ALWAYS return to become a prisoner of my diseases!

Frequent relapse is the number one and most visible stigma of dual diagnosis, and some have suggested that the prescription meds we have taken will have a long term effect of increasing the risk and frequency of relapse.

Well I assure you that you don't have to live under the stigma of your disease, and you don't have to live with the pain of relapse.

If my own experience is any indicator, I offer you hope--hope that, with psychic changes, you may live in peace and freedom from fear--that you may manage and minimize the ill influence of your diseases.

What IS psychic change?

Psychic change is merely a change in the attitudes, beliefs, and reactions I have always had, the negative energy from which has always fed my diseases, until, like a big fat tick, my diseases had nearly sucked all the life blood out of me.

Recovery from the disease of Bipolar with alcoholism, addiction, or substance abuse begins when I put the truth on the table--when I fully expose those diseases; when I stop looking for something to blame for giving me those diseases; and when I accept the terrible impact that those diseases have had on my life and the lives of my loved ones.

Recovery begins by ADMITTING that I have a problem, by ACCEPTING that I need to do something about my problem, and by ACCEPTING that I need help to do it!

I will therefore open the discussion with two questions.

How has admitting your diseases played a role in your recovery?

When I saw the damage that my diseases had done in my life and the lives of others, I had to accept not only the reality of its impact, but I also had to accept that something HAD to change--that I could no longer manage my life without changing my thinking, my choices, and my reactions to people, places, and events.

What has acceptance meant to you?

The discussion is open for your comments. Please observe the guidelines. The moderator will lock the discussion at the end of the two hours, but you are welcome afterward to continue in the "lounge" or by private message.

At any time, if you need to refresh or update the page, you should be able to press a hot key like, for instance, f5 on your keyboard.

My name is Jim, and I have Bipolar One with a history of alcoholism and addiction. I am from Florida.

The topic is "admission and acceptance."

Thank you.

Please observe the MEETING GUIDELINES

It's your meeting now, so please introduce yourself briefly, if you will, and post your comment.

Admitting that I am dual-diagnosed put a name to the problems that I have faced. By admitting it and telling others about this diagnosis I not only help myself but, perhaps help others to share.

Acceptance means I am comfortable in my own skin. I do not have to be someone else, playing a role. It also means getting in touch with my real feelings and motivations. That was the hardest part for me. Being myself, good at times and bad at times. And when I make a mistake forgiving myself and learning from it, instead of wallowing in self pity. I don't hold pity parties for myself and rarely attend the ones other people throw. Accepting the situation with brutal honesty and dealing with issues instead of drowning them in denial and alcohol. It has made life for me a joy. I love getting up each day and seeing what the day will bring.

So, acceptance to me, means life lived instead of endured. A joy and a never-ending source of wonder and delight....I never know what the day will bring...I accept all of it...and I accept myself, as I am. Working on the things that need changing and forgiving my mistakes in the past.

Now..., members of NA, AA, or DRA will probably recognize that we have been discussing Step One of their respective recovery programs.

"We admitted we were powerless over ____, and that our lives had become unmanageable."

For purposes of this discussion group, it will be important to realize, in a general sense, that we have suffered from the choices we made and the reactions we have had to people, places, and events.

We need to realize the choice for the addict to take the first drug, the choice for the alcholic to take the first drink, the choice for the substance abuser to self-medicate, the choice for the dual diagnosed individual to react in fear and without reason--all these choices are what made life unmanageable for us.

Therefore, don't you think that a proper objective for recovery is to find a way to make better choices? ...to make well reasoned choices? ...to seek to change our attitudes, beliefs, and reactions to people, places, and events? ...if nothing else, to learn to think things out, to reason with truth rather than with fear?

Admission is telling the truth. Acceptance opens the door to change what, for most of us, has been a bitter truth indeed!

Thanks for your participation and your comments. I hope, if you have more to say or you merely wish to talk to others in the group, that you will remain and visit in the DUAL DIAGNOSIS LOUNGE

or perhaps move to the private message system after the meeting.

My name is James Rist. Thank you for allowing me the honor to chair this meeting.

I'll leave this thread open for late comers. Okay?

See you next week?

Well, I have benefited from their counsel even though I felt they didn't understand. It nudged me in the right direction. So, ADMITTING THAT I HAD A PROBLEM helped me to renew my efforts to be morraly clean even if responsible one in the congragations may have hurt more than they helped. Then again I had brought these problems before them as a baptized Jehovah's Witness 6 -8 times over a period of 17 years. (it is a progressive disease right.)

I was finally disciplined in a stronger way. I mean if you tell your kid something 6-8 times not to do something, sooner or later you need to discipline them with love. Even if the child admits that he likes to play with fire, love will eventually tell you to get tough.

Well it's strange, but admitting then being disciplined proved to be "just the jolt I needed" (AA Big Book- chapter to employers) to get me back on my feet. The way I saw it was that my higher power was telling me not so much that I was wrong but that I really could recover. Why else would my higher power treat me like that?

Now 7 months later I do realize that not only can I recover but that absolutely everything I had been praying for has been answered or is in the process of being answered and not anywhere near the way I would have pictured them being answered! Admission that you have a problem and identifying it, being honest, truly is the first step to being able to do anything about it. Willingness to admit and be honest with certain others is beneficial as well.

I was thinking that I had to use alcohol and pot to medicate myself and I had no desire to quit anymore. But I didn't realize the extent of my diagnosis of bipolar either and the importance of medicine in being able to get sober.

I had to understand that I was dual diagnosed, admit that I was dual diagnosed, learn more about and ACCEPT THAT I WAS DUAL DIAGNOSED.

For me ACCEPTANCE was easy. I just needed to see that I WAS Bipolar- to identify and survive. I happily ACCEPTED that I was one of those "with grave emotional and mental disorders. Their chances are less than average, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest." (AA BIG BOOK- chapter how it works)

FINALLY, I had the potential for moving forwards.

My thinking and my heart needed changing and they have changed.

To me, I think this is the psychic change that I needed to get over my hump. This personality change appears sufficient for me.

" The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate, who can know it?" Jeremiah 17. That is what was happening to me just 7 months ago.

Bipolar 1 or 2?, substance abuser

Sorry I missed the group and thanks for leaving it open,

Jeff Davis