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Frenchie Posts: 1872
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I once tried Heroin, a long time ago, I didn't find that great of a high. I am glad now that I didn't keep trying it, for those I know who did, are suffering greatly from Heroin addiction. It is one of the hardest drugs to shake.And it is extremely dangerous. I know one guy who tried it and bought some more to take home, and I woke up at 4:30 am to the blinking lights of an abmbulance. Ronnie had died from the heroin before he even had a chance to finish it off. His heart burst. This drug is a demon,a killer, and definately NOT WORTH the risk!! Ronnie is gone, because of his second try of heroin. And damn! I MISS HIM SO MUCH! I still cry out in agony of seeing my friend DIE! he was only 24. I was on 10mg Methadone for 3 years, vie: my pain specialist. Maybe that's why it didn't have much of an effect on me. My drugs of choice were Ritalin 30mg and cocaine. I have been clean almost a year now and don't think I don't still feel the butterflies in my tummy when I think back on how good it made me feel...it is still tempting but after I swore to never touch it again, and going through rehab, I don't give in to tyhat feeling of temptation. WHY? because it IS a vicious cycle that will break you finacally and spiritually, and the chase can eventually kill you. I am also Bipolar and suffer from anxiety attacks. And I am still strongly grieving over the death of My Mother and my beloved friend Ronnie. It's affecting my bipolar, this terrible sadness. {{{{{{ hugz to all}}}}}
Life is a mystery. It is a gift.
Don't dare miss even a moment of it.
Yesterday was a lesson, today is a prayer,
Tomorrow would mean nothing,
If I can't find you there !
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I AM NOT CERTIFIED TO GIVE ADVICE ON PERSCRIPTION MEDICATION OR TO TELL A PATIENT WHAT TO DO FOR THEIR AILMENTS. HOWEVER AS A CAREGIVER AND YOUR FRIEND...I MAY TELL YOU WHAT MEDS I TAKE AND/OR WHAT I DO FOR THIS OR THAT AILMENT. IT'S ALWAYS BEST TO ASK YOUR DOCTOR, OR PHARMACIST FOR THE BEST AND SAFEST ADVICE!~be well~ and know that somebody cares! (( and in alot of cases: "been there-done that" )) My love, Frenchie
MEDICATIONS I TAKE FOR FIBROMYALGIA, BIPOLAR, ANXIETY, GERD, ADD, NARCOLEPSY and HIGH BP
LYRICA / 3 A DAY
GEODONE/ 2 A DAY
SEROQUEL XR / 1 AT BEDTIME
NUVIGIL / 2 A DAY
NEXIUM 1 A DAY
BUSPAR 15 MG / 4 A DAY
ZOLOFT / 1 A DAY
VERAPAMIL ( Calan ) / 240 / 1 A DAY
( by the way...for those dragging their wagon and beat on their feet...lost in a Fibro-Fog....
TRY " FOG-LIFTER" coffee by Millstone! *grin*)
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saralaurie Posts: 1252
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frechie..thanks for sharing your story with us. drugs kill people and it is so said that addicts think drugs can make them feel better. i am sorry about your loss and the horrible memories of your friends death. sara |
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Frenchie Posts: 1872
VIP Member
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thank you saralaurie. thank you...so much. {{{{{{ hugz to all}}}}}
Life is a mystery. It is a gift.
Don't dare miss even a moment of it.
Yesterday was a lesson, today is a prayer,
Tomorrow would mean nothing,
If I can't find you there !
**********************************************
I AM NOT CERTIFIED TO GIVE ADVICE ON PERSCRIPTION MEDICATION OR TO TELL A PATIENT WHAT TO DO FOR THEIR AILMENTS. HOWEVER AS A CAREGIVER AND YOUR FRIEND...I MAY TELL YOU WHAT MEDS I TAKE AND/OR WHAT I DO FOR THIS OR THAT AILMENT. IT'S ALWAYS BEST TO ASK YOUR DOCTOR, OR PHARMACIST FOR THE BEST AND SAFEST ADVICE!~be well~ and know that somebody cares! (( and in alot of cases: "been there-done that" )) My love, Frenchie
MEDICATIONS I TAKE FOR FIBROMYALGIA, BIPOLAR, ANXIETY, GERD, ADD, NARCOLEPSY and HIGH BP
LYRICA / 3 A DAY
GEODONE/ 2 A DAY
SEROQUEL XR / 1 AT BEDTIME
NUVIGIL / 2 A DAY
NEXIUM 1 A DAY
BUSPAR 15 MG / 4 A DAY
ZOLOFT / 1 A DAY
VERAPAMIL ( Calan ) / 240 / 1 A DAY
( by the way...for those dragging their wagon and beat on their feet...lost in a Fibro-Fog....
TRY " FOG-LIFTER" coffee by Millstone! *grin*) |
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maMONa  Posts: 1168
Senior Member
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frenchie, i just read your post and i am sorry you had to go through such emotional anguish with your mohter and also your friend Ronnie. I have never tried heroin and am scared shitless to ever do it. I also have done coke and still crave it often. Lately Ive been keeping busy with so many xmas errands so that helps. Anyways, it is also this time of year we all tend to get more depressed than usual. I'm also BP. As for the the emotional stress you are going through i can;t give you great words of wisdom...i also find myself battling so many issues from many directions in life it is so hard to just settle for one day. All i can say is that I have been angry at everyone for having this disorder or taking out my frustrations to others unnecessarily and I also have my "demons" that linger.....but i have to accept or try to make sense that i have to or AM stronger than this disorder that tries to weaken one. In order to combat or deal with the daily trials of having BP on TOP of "regular" living as everyone else does, we ARE stronger, we just dont see it like that. We deal with all the BP crap throws at us, addictions that coincide with BP, AND try to just LIVE like everyone else. That HAS to be an asset is some fucked up way. I may not make sense, or get my thoughts out straight with this, so bear with me. My prayers are with you Frenchie.
"Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to." - from "Dolores Claiborne"
"Don't bullshit a bullshitter.." |
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Ele Posts: 2006
Senior Member
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I am sorry about your friend.  Please do not take anything I say as medical advice. I am not a doctor
Ellie :) |
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Frenchie Posts: 1872
VIP Member
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thank you Ele1. I appreciate your kindness. {{{{{{ hugz to all}}}}}
Life is a mystery. It is a gift.
Don't dare miss even a moment of it.
Yesterday was a lesson, today is a prayer,
Tomorrow would mean nothing,
If I can't find you there !
**********************************************
I AM NOT CERTIFIED TO GIVE ADVICE ON PERSCRIPTION MEDICATION OR TO TELL A PATIENT WHAT TO DO FOR THEIR AILMENTS. HOWEVER AS A CAREGIVER AND YOUR FRIEND...I MAY TELL YOU WHAT MEDS I TAKE AND/OR WHAT I DO FOR THIS OR THAT AILMENT. IT'S ALWAYS BEST TO ASK YOUR DOCTOR, OR PHARMACIST FOR THE BEST AND SAFEST ADVICE!~be well~ and know that somebody cares! (( and in alot of cases: "been there-done that" )) My love, Frenchie
MEDICATIONS I TAKE FOR FIBROMYALGIA, BIPOLAR, ANXIETY, GERD, ADD, NARCOLEPSY and HIGH BP
LYRICA / 3 A DAY
GEODONE/ 2 A DAY
SEROQUEL XR / 1 AT BEDTIME
NUVIGIL / 2 A DAY
NEXIUM 1 A DAY
BUSPAR 15 MG / 4 A DAY
ZOLOFT / 1 A DAY
VERAPAMIL ( Calan ) / 240 / 1 A DAY
( by the way...for those dragging their wagon and beat on their feet...lost in a Fibro-Fog....
TRY " FOG-LIFTER" coffee by Millstone! *grin*) |
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Frenchie Posts: 1872
VIP Member
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thank you maMONa , I am trying to be strong. Your post moved me so, and I do appreciate your kind wods and I hope and pray that this season of celebration, will be good to you. I look forward to more of our chats. my email addy if you want it is: monacmorris@yahoo.com {{{{{{ hugz to all}}}}}
Life is a mystery. It is a gift.
Don't dare miss even a moment of it.
Yesterday was a lesson, today is a prayer,
Tomorrow would mean nothing,
If I can't find you there !
**********************************************
I AM NOT CERTIFIED TO GIVE ADVICE ON PERSCRIPTION MEDICATION OR TO TELL A PATIENT WHAT TO DO FOR THEIR AILMENTS. HOWEVER AS A CAREGIVER AND YOUR FRIEND...I MAY TELL YOU WHAT MEDS I TAKE AND/OR WHAT I DO FOR THIS OR THAT AILMENT. IT'S ALWAYS BEST TO ASK YOUR DOCTOR, OR PHARMACIST FOR THE BEST AND SAFEST ADVICE!~be well~ and know that somebody cares! (( and in alot of cases: "been there-done that" )) My love, Frenchie
MEDICATIONS I TAKE FOR FIBROMYALGIA, BIPOLAR, ANXIETY, GERD, ADD, NARCOLEPSY and HIGH BP
LYRICA / 3 A DAY
GEODONE/ 2 A DAY
SEROQUEL XR / 1 AT BEDTIME
NUVIGIL / 2 A DAY
NEXIUM 1 A DAY
BUSPAR 15 MG / 4 A DAY
ZOLOFT / 1 A DAY
VERAPAMIL ( Calan ) / 240 / 1 A DAY
( by the way...for those dragging their wagon and beat on their feet...lost in a Fibro-Fog....
TRY " FOG-LIFTER" coffee by Millstone! *grin*) |
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saralaurie Posts: 1252
VIP Member
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Frenchie, Did your friend die recently? |
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Frenchie Posts: 1872
VIP Member
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yes. actually...8 months ago {{{{{{ hugz to all}}}}}
Life is a mystery. It is a gift.
Don't dare miss even a moment of it.
Yesterday was a lesson, today is a prayer,
Tomorrow would mean nothing,
If I can't find you there !
**********************************************
I AM NOT CERTIFIED TO GIVE ADVICE ON PERSCRIPTION MEDICATION OR TO TELL A PATIENT WHAT TO DO FOR THEIR AILMENTS. HOWEVER AS A CAREGIVER AND YOUR FRIEND...I MAY TELL YOU WHAT MEDS I TAKE AND/OR WHAT I DO FOR THIS OR THAT AILMENT. IT'S ALWAYS BEST TO ASK YOUR DOCTOR, OR PHARMACIST FOR THE BEST AND SAFEST ADVICE!~be well~ and know that somebody cares! (( and in alot of cases: "been there-done that" )) My love, Frenchie
MEDICATIONS I TAKE FOR FIBROMYALGIA, BIPOLAR, ANXIETY, GERD, ADD, NARCOLEPSY and HIGH BP
LYRICA / 3 A DAY
GEODONE/ 2 A DAY
SEROQUEL XR / 1 AT BEDTIME
NUVIGIL / 2 A DAY
NEXIUM 1 A DAY
BUSPAR 15 MG / 4 A DAY
ZOLOFT / 1 A DAY
VERAPAMIL ( Calan ) / 240 / 1 A DAY
( by the way...for those dragging their wagon and beat on their feet...lost in a Fibro-Fog....
TRY " FOG-LIFTER" coffee by Millstone! *grin*) |
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rediscoveringme Posts: 663
Senior Member
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I am so sorry to hear you are going through some really tough things in your life. I knew someone this happened to but it was when I was little. He was one of my mom's friends and he was in a mutual friend's home. He had spent the night. I was bf with thier daughter at the time. They let the guy sleep in thier daughter's bed. In the morning they she went to wake him up so he could get ready to go to work and then she yelled for her mom and told her he wouldn't wake up. My mom had told me it was because he died of sets. Mixing of meds but later when we were old enough we were told the truth. The same thing happened to him. They even found the stuff undr the bed beside him. Its such and ugly thing. BTW I also know how you all feel this time of year. It just brings me sooo down. I just want to hide. But that wouldn't serve purpose for anyone. NOt even me. HUGS It often takes a breathe at a time to get through a day, next step a moment then an hour then hours then a day at a time..point is baby steps lead to big recoveries just gotta start taken them:) |
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