Dual Diagnosis Support Group

This has to be shorter, because I'm on some new meds that are helping with insomnia but not enough... they basically make me relaxed and more coherent to talk to - but the Pdoc says I'm still manic and give them time.

I've been active duty military for 20 years and been in and around AA for the same length of time, but I'm only 3 days from a drink right now. I also am realizing in the last month that even while abstaining from alcohol, I was using OTC stimulants (diet pills, energy drinks, cold medicine) all the time to drive myself. It worked out well for my career - it's been an above average run and I sustained it for years sober, but an injury on a deployment caused me an opiate prescription (2006) and it's kicked off a roller coaster ride.

I was diagnosed by the military as BPII, w/ PTSD and GAD, but they let me stay in because I appeared stable without any meds (I quit taking risperidone and wellbutrin a year ago. I disagreed with the bipolar bit for awhile, but I ended up with the idea to intentionally induce mania (if I DID have BP - it was an experiment to me). BAD IDEA NEVER DO THIS. I won't say what I did in case there's somewhere out here in the same mindset I was in then, but I now know the difference between hypomanic, manic and paranoid psychotic delusions.

I was scared and contacted a civilian Pdoc I know. She is stabilizing me with lithium and trazadone now and threatened me with detox if i didn't stay of the booze. No problem there at the moment, I'm shook up after the break down I had... but she halso had my wife throw out all the OTC stuff I've been taking for years and wants me to get off of caffeine and nicotine completely but tapered down because I couldn't do it cold turkey after a few days.

The holidays always add to my anxiety, but we just had twin baby girls 9 days ago (surprise babies number 4 and 5 for us) and my house is FULL of family here to help -I leave in 3 weeks and will be separated from them for several months so that's not helping the situation. I'm isolating in the MBR with my computer and IPOD studying bipolar disorder most days - it's my new current obsession.

Anyway, that's a much more abbreviated intro. I'd love to chat to folks out here (actually I feel compelled to meet others and hear their experiences). If anyone lives in the 904 area code, send me a message.