Husband Cyc bi-polar and alcohol issues

There's nothing much that you can do in this situation, except try to get through to him, and if you have the slightest belief that he isn't stable enough to keep from hurting himself, the best thing that you can do for him,is to have him hospitalized so that he can be started on medications again, have you asked him why he has gone off his lithium? His private Doctor can talk with him about the alcohol and what it does to him in regards to the bypass and the dangers of mixing alcohol and medications.

Just because he talks about suicide doesn't mean that he might not try, too many people have the belief that those that talk about it, don't do it, I've talked about it and have tried, several times. Do you think that he would be open to a intervention? you could call the local AA group in your area and they have people that will come out to your house and talk with him, there is life after alcohol, I've got 14 years now of sobriety... I'm newly diagnosed with the Bipolar 2 and on Lamictal, if he is having trouble with the lithium, perhaps he can talk with his doctor about trying a new medication, this lamictal is working wonderfully for me.

It's easy to hide what we are really going through, the mask that we show the world is our cover and the world of torment that we experience is the real us that our minds tell us we are..both in the disease of alcoholism and bipolar.

Good luck to you, and please let us know how you are doing

Carmen

Thank you

Tara

Carmen

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/tv_and_radio/ secretlife_documentary.shtml

and is called "The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive" and I believe he was nominated and maybe won an Emmy or similar award for it in the US a few months ago. It has done a huge lot here in the UK to explain the condition and allow those touched by it to "come out". His interview with Carrie Fisher (StarWars) was so touching and included other well know people such Richard Dreyfus. Interestingly he interviewed a doctor who was a specialist in this field and he said that once you are on Lithium you are likely to be worse if you stop it that you were when you began it. I think this is true. My hubby says he stps taking it "because he does not want to take it all the time" When he is in his normal periods he is methodicalk about taking it and all his vitamins and minerals. The other thing that now stands out from the programme is that Fry highlights the close relationshio between addiction and Bi-po and said he himself has (ab)used drugs and alcohol as part of his illness.

This place has become what I might call a lonely oasis (Thinking of that movie 'Bagdad Cafe') full of promise but no action!

I will re-read when my focus is a little better, but I did see the comment about your DH's lithium. That comment reminded me about the most important long-run tool in my recovery--balance. ...my greatest challenge.

"Balance" also brings to mind "If it works, don't fix it!"

I sometimes feel as though I'm walking a tight rope. I know now that I have a safety net, but I still take care not to fall off!

What a journey!

Thanks again, Tara. Maybe you can get your hubby onto the forum as well.

Kindest regards

Jim

I hope I can also help anyone else with support for their ups and downs with loved ones who suffer in this way and thanks for such a great facility.

hugs

Tara

When you participate on this or any forum, you have helped someone. Just knowing that there is someone like me here to listen and share certainly helps me.

In time, you will understand that others are silently lurking, reading what you and I have to say, and that those lurkers draw experience, strength, and hope from our stories.

You said, "I hope I can also help anyone else with support...." Well your hope has been fulfilled, for you have already helped me, yourself, your husband, and anyone else who may read your post.

Thanks again, Tara!

Kindest regards,

Jim

I guess my focus in considering DD (bipolar with alcohol/substance abuse), especially in the matter of chronic, or ongoing, abuse, is the strange resistence to effective pharmaceutical treatment for mood swings.

Particularly, I see something..., and I can't really account for it.

In conversations, both with my therapist and my sponsor, I noted that, once the people I sponsor start the meds, I am generally no longer able to "get through to them" on issues of changing their beliefs. If you have any awareness of the principles which contribute to the distress of your disease, you understand that beliefs more than any other thing fuel negative thinking; and negative thinking pushes our mood swings "over the edge." To change beliefs or perspectives, to see things differently and more rationally, helps us to manage and escape the worst of our moods swings.

If you don't see that relationship between beliefs and suffering, then keep coming back. Someone besides me will say the same thing. Why? ...because it's the truth.

Effective recovery from addiction/chronic substance abuse/alcohoism requires three things: change in attitude, change in beliefs, and change in reactions to people, places, and events.

In addition BP treatment starts with relief through mood modifiers (meds) and must, if the treatment is to be effective, follow up with an effort by the individual to change (again) attitudes, beliefs, and reactions.

Once my sponsees have the relief from the meds, I seem to be unable to guide them to change, specifically, their beliefs.

That's a major problem, because, when they ultimately experience their worst problems, they fall back--often they even relapse with their substance abuse.

Apparently, it comes down to a question with the meds of "relief only?" or of "relief AND recovery?"

Once the sponsee feels the relief from the meds, once they have some comfort, they seem to want no more!

The dilemma here is that the meds have that temporary comforting effect, but, without using the comfort period to get to work on attitudes, beliefs, and reactions, the individual, after a period of weeks or months, falls back into the torment they had escaped. The doc reviews and changes meds, and the whole cycle begins all over.

Both my sponsor and my therapist confirmed this observation.

So I want to emphasize (pardon the vernacular):

Once you begin to get some relief from your meds, "get off your ass" and start making some changes!

Attitude, belief, reaction... Changes which offer effective remedies for the 'FOUR HORSEMEN" of relapse (i.e. fear, anger, resentment, remorse [guilt]).

Is that 'CLEAR ENOUGH', y'all!?

Thanks for being a part of my recovery.

Jim

Post edited by: JR1, at: 12/07/2007 12:35

Post edited by: JR1, at: 12/10/2007 15:29

Post edited by: JR1, at: 12/10/2007 15:32

Carmen