Dual Diagnosis Support Group

I would like to hear about your experiences with friends. I have found that I put a great deal of effort into a relationship, with another person and then I will get resentful because they do not listen or understand me, when I become manic and have a difficult time controling my emotions. I have often gone into isolation, so that I do not hurt anyones feelings, as I can be very blunt and harsh, at times. I believe in honesty and at times I can be too honest, and it hurts the other persons feelings. I try to think through all my thought but when my mind is racing I am in a danger zone, as I do not know when these manic episodes will take place. The smallest thing could set me off. Something stupid like being cut off in traffic. Now I do not feel that I would be a good friend if I was not completely honest with the other person, I just wish I could control my moodswings and be better able to communicate my needs with the other person. I often find that I am unable to ask for help. I have gotten soooooooooooooo much better with the help of my doctor, medications, getting sober, as well as, going to meetings for support, yet I still have my off moments. I enjoy being with my friends, in a one-on-one situation as, I like to spend quality time with others. I wish I had all the answers and I wish I could make other people understand that I do not mean to attack them, however, when I go off on them, I feel as if they are attacking me, or are just not listening because they are self-absorbed and are too concerned with themselves and their issues. I feel that they have become acustom to me listen to them and helping them through their problems, and they can not accept the fact that I too have bad times and need their help. It could just be my perception of others when I am manic but I often think very deeply about the situations that have occured and I find that the other person truely does not want to put the effort into trying to understand me or help me out, they are just out there for themselves. They will tell me they understand bipolar but only a person who is bipolar can truely understand. I have a difficult time with people who tell me they understand and the only way I can explain it to them is that I am on the rollercoaster ride of a lifetime and it has it's ups and downs and sometimes it stops however the ride never ends and I can not get off. All I know is that it takes one to know one, and only a person who has to deal with these types of issues on a daily basis could truely understand the pain and struggles we go through. If you have had similar experiences or if you have any answers for me, please let me know because I am at a loss!

SandiJ

I related a lot to a lot of things you wrote. One big thing I related to was when you said you wished you could "be better able to communicate my needs with the other person. I often find that I am unable to ask for help". I just can not admit I have needs or that I need help. Not until it's too late and I've gotten soooo irritable that I've exploded. Then it's obvious that I needed something.

Like you I am much better than I used to be. I go to meetings and I get therapy and I take my meds. I am the most stable I have ever been in my life. But I don't work and don't think I could if I tried. I think working would put me into a rollercoaster ride from he@@. My kids call me "mean" and for the life of me I can't figure out why. But I am trying to figure out why. I'm working on it. I think they're being over sensitive and spoiled. But I'm trying to be open minded, maybe I am too irritable.

I guess I don't have any answers for you. The only thing I can say is to be openminded ans willing to learn and change and grow. If you're here asking for help, then you've conquered half the battle and recognized that you need some assistance. I guess all of us here recognize that, huh? Honesty, openmindedness and willingness, that'll get you there.

Thanks! I know that sometimes I am very unreasonable and that I lose it but I can be very kind and very considerate of others. I believe I go from one exteme to the other. I am definately bipolar!!! No doubt about it! Sometimes I have to have someone basically snap me out of my manic or depressed state before I relize that I am way out there. I moved to be around my family for that reason as I knew they would be honest with me weather I liked it or not. I just do not always know how to communicate this too my friends so they understand that they need to wake me up to the fact that I am being unreasonable or going off on a tangent. Anyway, I know this is a learning process for all of us and that your true friends will hang in there through the thick and the thin.

SandiJ