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disrespected


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05/15/2008 09:04
tink0314
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 On mothers day my brother and his wife came out. My mother wouldnt come because she does not like his wife, so she came in the morning. Witch was fine by me . My brother and his wife and son came latter because he had court Monday morning. It was judgment day he was convicted of every thing that he did. He no longer has feloneys on his record just misdemeaners. So at the end of court his wife and him use my phone. I see that they anr tring to delete the # they have dailed. I said that I could care less and I wont call them to see whos they were that I didnt care because they would do what they wanted any way and Im all done helping with courtand such. So they were sneaky and found out how to delete them. Witch was fine I just felt disrespected because they had the nerve to try to pull a fast on on me. They are all ways saying that thay are clean and they dont use anymore . What a bunch of crap I got a call back from a # I didnot know and I ask if they new how my brother was he said sure and hung up. I just told him and his wife that THEY ARE NOT THAT SMART THERE DRUGDEALER CALLED ME BACK! Do you guys know what they told me? To disregard the phone calls I got. WHAT? OMG.

Dont I feel stupid to trust someone that every time there lips move they are lying!
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05/16/2008 08:06
mommyofsixFriend2U
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 Hi Tink, Nice to hear from you. I'm so sorry they treated you so poorly. I do hope that you aren't helping them out in anyway. They are going to treat you like that and don't deserve help from you.

Have you ever gone to a NarcAnon meeting or anything like that? They can be bery helpful for the family members of the addict. i do know that there are some good books to read like: Co-dependant No More and Beyond Co-dependancy.......Both by Melody Beattie. You may want to read them. There is also a great group here for co-dependancy. They can help you learn how to deal with them and take care of yourself.

I'm so glad you came back and updated us on how you are. Take care and keep in touch. Your friend,Chris

Your Friend, Chris
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05/17/2008 18:26
tink0314
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 Iv been to narcanon and when my brother went to rehab I stoped going. I m going to find the book about the co-dependancy . I really didnt think that that is what I was doing but the more I look up stuff about it thats me. I dont control in a bad way I do it because I think I can help and cix all thier problems. Pretty stupid to think that I could do that.

thanks for every thing

tink
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05/17/2008 21:29
mommyofsixFriend2U
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 Hi Tink, I don't think it is stupid....just a sisters love and caring for her brother. We all have things we'd do for our family and want to help the manyway we ca. When addiction is involved, it changes and we don't realize it at first. Our caring for them becomes co-dependancy. We still love them and want to help them....but can't! I know how frustrating and hurtful it can be. We want so despreately to see them live happy, healthy lives that we go out of our way to help sometimes.....that is where we run into the problem.

There is such a fine line between caring and co-dependancy......it is easy to cross over it. I too was shocked to see myself in those books. I thought I was doing all of the right things and found out different. I had to take from the books the things I believed and that made sense. After looking at the addiction and sitations I was in, I changed my mind about how I was caring for my mom and changed the things in myself that I could.

Your not wrong for wanting to help him....it just won't work while he is addicted! I hope that you can find away to continue to care about him but not be a care taker for him. I'm here if you need to talk. Your friend, Chris

Your Friend, Chris
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