Drug Addiction Support Group

You know what you have to do but you are afraid, afraid of losing him, afraid of being a single parent, afraid of what the future holds, the unknown.

You need to talk to him and don't listen to "I have everything under controll" that is what I always said but in reality I was out of control just like your boyfriend is now, Its not going to get better, only worse, I understand you love him but you are also destroying your life and the life of your baby.

He needs to quit now, he said he will before the baby is born well that time is now. You can support him, let him know you love him but will not be w/ him if he continues using, its not healthy for you or your baby.

Don't try to tell his parents, tell them, do it, you have to act now, just talking about it will not help the situation, You need to tell his parents and tell him he needs to stop now, if he wants his baby in his life. You need to be strong, you need to stick w/ your decisions, its for your happiness and future, dealing w/ an addict and a baby is very hard, Be strong, we are here to hold your hand through this process, to give you the strenght to keep fighting and have your boyfriend in control of his life and not being controlled by the drug. By waiting you are also being controlled by his drug too...you need to act NOW and take control..........

Talk with your parents, please. And if you really love this guy, let his parents know. They have the right to know that their own son is in trouble. Wouldn't you want to know if - God forbid- your child was using?

Thanks for being understanding, anamore.

I stopped listening to the "I have everything under control" excuse a while ago. I realize he definitely isn't in control of it anymore. I guess I don't know what to say to him anymore. Nothing makes a difference. I guess I cave in every time though, so why should he believe I'm going to follow through with anything I say?

I called his mom and told her. Then I threw up. I don't know what will happen now...

He will be pissed at you for telling his parents, but they needed to know, you can't deal with this alone. He will blame you for all his problems because he is too afraid to look at the real cause of his problems..his addiction. He will lie, steal, cheat, manipulate, do just about anything to keep using and facing his demons.

I hope that doesn't happen, I hope he will admit to his problem and go into recovery. The addict needs to feel the consequences of his action, take responsibilty for what he does, he needs to hit bottom and ask for help.

Then you can be there for him, to support him in his recovery. Keep us updated on what is happening, what did his mother say.

We are here for you, to guide you and hold your hand, always,

His parents knew something was up, but they didn't expect something this bad. I kept covering up for him every time they'd try to talk to me about it. I called his mom and told her. She was really upset and started crying, but she was glad I told her. She wanted to call him right away, but I knew that wouldn't do any good. He's sort of been avoiding his family a lot lately so they don't realize what's going on. His mom talked him in to going over to his parents' house for dinner and bringing me. They told him they knew what was going on. He tried to convince them that it wasn't a big deal and it was under control, all that stuff I've heard before. They knew better than the believe him. They tried to talk to him about getting help/seeking treatment now before the baby's born. He got really mad, especially at me for telling them. He left and didn't talk to any of us for 4 days. I don't really know where we are right now.

His reaction is what you would expect from an addict, he is angry at you for telling them, he is angry his parents know, he is angry because maybe deep down somewhere inside of his soul, he knows he has no control and just is too scared to admit it. that is one of the hardest things to do, to admit you have an addiction problem, thats probably why most addicts hit bottom before the face the truth, they destroy their lives totally before admitting there is a problem, The drug has such a strong hold on you, that you can't even imagine being without them, you feel like you won't survive w/o the drugs and alcohol. But there is life after addiction and it could be a happy one.

This is the hard part, what you are going through now, you can only wait and watch him destroy his life and just hope that when he hits bottom, it won't be at a big price.

You can try talking to him, telling him that he has no control, and if he says he has then tell him there should be no problem in going w/ you to a NA meeting. Tell him you want to see what they are about, chances are slim that he will go. But all I can tell you is just keep showing him when he is out of control, Hopefully his parents can help to.

We are here for you, to hold your hand and guide you through this difficult time..I just wish there was more that we can do, but its all up to him...........

Post edited by: anamore, at: 06/26/2012 08:47 AM

Well good news, he left for rehab today. He made it clear he doesn't want to quit and that he's only doing it to please everyone else. The other day I told him that I really needed him here and clean and involved. I guess I basically guilted him into it. A little while after we talked he said he'd go. He's a really caring person and I know he feels bad that he's hurting other people. He's admitted that he knows he's doing that, at least. So, that's the only reason he's going. I know it's not enough though. I just worry he'll leave rehab really soon and not even try to stick it out.

He is going to rehab and still in denial, sometimes it takes alot for an addict to admit it, I guess he is one of them, but maybe deep down in his soul he knows he needs help but to save his ego he says he is doing it to please everyone, us addicts lie to others and even to ourselves.

I am glad he went, maybe he will admit it there by other addicts, he will see how similar his behavior is, I hope he has an open mind when he goes to the therapy sessions.

He will be in my prayers..keep us updated on his progress, there is hope...........

My bf got to call home yesterday. He's still in rehab and made it through the detox period. His therapy and everything started today. He said he was miserable and wanted to come home. He doesn't want to do any of the therapy sessions or other activities. His parents have all his money now, so he has no way to get home. I just wish I could talk to him. I miss him so much, but I'm glad he's there.

Its good he is still there and is unable to leave, he is afraid of therapy, he is afraid of looking at himself honestly, w/o the protection of hiding behind drugs, this is an important part of rehab, if he doesn't resolve his problems he will relapse, hopefully the therapist can get through to him

The stong hold the drugs have over us is so hard to break, we are powerless and until we admit that nothing will help. He has to admit to his problem and that he is powerless over the control the drug has on him.

He will be in my prayers....