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Hello...I am bipolar too so you're not alone and you're not rambling. It can be extremely difficult to tell loved ones about your problem. For a long time I didn't even acknowledge the fact that I had a problem and I went through a lot with my loved ones as they watched me destroy myself. I am an opiate addict; I also suffered pain issues with my neck and shoulders and became addicted to vocodin ER. This addiction escalated into full fledged heroin addiction. Heroin is my drug of choice. I ended up eventually overdosing and landed in rehab. My mother had to give me CPR. I had aspiration pneumonia as a result of my lungs filling up with fluid when I stopped breathing. Addiction is no joke and it always escalates so keep that in mind. You will continue to move up your dose as your body fails to respond to the recommended dose anymore. Honesty is the best way for any addict. You have to get this off your chest and to be honest. You can even add that you don't feel ready to stop the pills. As long as you're using you may never feel ready to stop without proper intervention. Although it is hard you may want to be honest with your doctor and tell him/her that you have been adjusting your meds and you don't feel safe. There are other ways to manage pain safely. Many people with pain have this same exact problem and you're not alone. I was addicted to my meds and I ended up going to rehab. I had to use that time to adjust to not being a slave to the drug anymore and to manage my symptoms with medication that was not addictive. It was hard and painful at first, but it worked and I feel great today. I also go to AA and work with an addiction specialist. You need people in your life that understand your situation. This is why I go to my support group and outpatient program. Non addicts rarely understand. people without pain rarely understand. If you're interested in help just write back and I can share with you what works for me. Keep writing. We understand here. xoxo -Stacy
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not yet ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.
-T.S. Eliot |
"The part of my recovery plan that I would say made up 80% is MDJ. I suffered a lot prior to finding MDJ, felt alone and had no one to talk to who really understood me. In the Bipolar Group I found like minded individuals who I could relate to and who offered support to me when I needed it. As I recovered, I could then offer support to them which gave me a good feeling about myself. I have met some great people here who I would class as good friends and know I would still be in the slump I was in without them. Now I am stable, I know that MDJ plays an important part in keeping me that way. Thank you MDJ for being there for us all and making us no longer feel alone." (liamacker)
