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06/30/2008 04:12 PM

Hi Everyone I am new

Posts: 1
New Member


I am living with a man that is addicted to crack cocaine. We are married adn have been together for over 17 years (we got together young, we are 33 adn 35). Well when we were younger he would do crack now and then. It stopped for years and now he is back at it..not comming home, not answering his phone etc. etc. He will go for 2 weeks then one day he disappears and I just know what he is doing. This has been going onagain for a while and I am scared. I do not know what to do. He is a great man and supports us until this demon appears and he is someone I do not know. I have never done this drug but he tells me it is hard to resist. I am at my wits end and can not take this any longer he says he does nto need help and that he only does it once in a while. He blames me and the fights I pick. Honestly I am at a point where I want to leave this I cant handle it anymore I have tried everything. If anyone can offer some ways they cope or ways that they have helped their partner etc. please do. I am open for anything.

Thank you so very much


07/06/2008 09:20 PM
Posts: 20

Hi Jenna!

Welcome to our family. Im pretty new here too but it really has helped me in being able to talk to and read other peoples stories.

My boyfriend is a heroin addict. Hes been clean for three weeks but my biggest fear is what your going through right now, and I can only imagine the amount of pain and frustration you must be feeling.

I wish I had some revolutionary advice for you, but im new to all of this. I have never dealt with addiction before my boyfriend, let alone a heroin addict. However, you learn fast, and what I do know is that we cannot make it through this by ourselves. With addiction just once is too much, and it really sounds like your husband doesnt want to admit that he has a problem. The hardest part, I feel, is being so completely powerless over their choices. With everything my boyfriend and I are going through, I am using this time to step back and reevaluate me. Just remember that this is not your fault! These are his choices and nothing you say or do will be able to stop him unless he really wants too.

You might want to try looking up al-anon or nar-anon groups in your area. Thats next on my list. Right now Im using this site to substitute for being able to physically sit in a group. It really is incredibly difficult, its so easy to get caught up in the lies and hurt, that it begins to cloud all sense of reality. I have been blessed with these last three weeks of him being sober and it has allowed me to see with slightly more clarity. Maybe taking some time away from might be the best, because you need to take care of yourself first before you can begin to take care of anyone else. I know that has been a very hard concept for me to grasp, because I always am trying to fix everyone else around me before looking at my own issues.

Hang in there! There is support out there, and whether it be crack or heroin, addiction leads to the same things, and my heart goes out to you.

You know where to find me.

Take care,



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