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Hello, Thank you for being here. I will do my best to help you figure this out and be supportive through this tough time you're having. I DO NOT think your sister is a bad person in anyway! Most addicts are not bad people. They get caught up in the behavior and don't know how to stop. Usually they are doing something out of curiosity, peer pressure, to have fun, numb feelings, or some fairly innoocent reason and it quickly spins out of control. She is in a very tough spot right now and so are you! She needs medication to feel better, and most of the medications she needs are addictive. I agree with you about her doctors not taking proper care of her, when they know she has a problem. She should have one doctor that follows all of it and knows exactly what she is taking. Alot of these medications don't mix well and it can be dangerous for her. I see you mentioned OXY! That medication is is so physically addictive. I became physically dependant to it and went through terrible withdrawls when I stopped. I was never told that I would have to go through that to get off of it. It was so bad that I went to a new doctor to slowly wean me off of it. It is the worst medication I can think of for it's addictive nature. I'm back on it for my chronic pain now! The difference now is, that I know what to expect when I no longer need it, and I have a doctor that follows me closely. I am honest with myself and the doctor about my feelings and if I think I'm using them inappropriately. She needs to become responsible for her own health and management of her illnesses too. The doctors only know what she tells them. They are not completely to blame ( not that they don't have some to do with it)!!! I agree that she probably has emotional issues that she isn't dealing with and therefore she abuses her medication. She probably has alot of depression with the chronic pain and illnesses she has. It is pretty normal to have some emotional issues when a person is chronically ill. Learning how to deal with them is the best thing that could happen for her. It isn't easy, I know! Everyone has troubles now and again and has to deal with it. It is just a part of life! Would she ever consider going into treatment? Have you ever thought of doing an intervention? There is a show on A&E that is called intervention. The Family gets together with a counselor and make a plan to get the addict into treatment. It is a pretty good show. Other wise, there are books to read called Co-Dependant No More and Beyond Co-Dependancy for you to read. They are by Melody Beattie. They can help you figure out your role in the addicts life. How to deal with your own frustrations and take back your life. You said you didn't even have time to greive for your mother. I'm so sorry for your loss. You need to get your life back, so you can do the things you need to do. You're important too!!! It is also the best way to help your sister. She will see that you're healthy and might want the same for herself. I'm here if you need to talk. There is another group here that may help called co-dependants. There are some wonderful people there too.  Your friend, Chris Your Friend, Chris |
My sister was diagnosed with lupus 8 years ago now. She became very dependent on her pain killers. When that ran out she used cocaine. We then lost our mother last year and it became worse. I haven't even had time to mourn our mom, I have been taking care of her. I have done everything from telling her she can no longer se my boys until she gets help. Which worked at the time. I took her for help, which that alone wasn't easy to get. But once she had a seziure and almost died on my kitchen floor in front of my children they finally were willing to put her in somewhere. She went through the detox and all that. She seemed to be doing better. Then 4 weeks ago the Lups flared and they had to give her pain medication. Then was taken off it. Before she left hospital. I don't think she is taking anything she shouldn't they do drug test her weekly. However,, I think she is abusing whatever they may be giving her now. Anxiety meds. muscle relaxors. It is so hard. It has upset me and upset my family. Confused my boys. One being 13 and the other 9. I love my sister and I don't regret giving up months of my life to help her, I really would never change that. But I can never put my famil through that agian, nor an I handle it. I say I am done and I talk to her and love her. But I no longer get caught up in it, well that is what I say. Yet, I see it and it hurts. Though I am not reaching out my hand to help. I can't escape the hurt. I just watched our mom die. Now I am watching my sister. I say I did what I could and that will help me through it. It's not like I ignored it. Yet, I don't feel any better. It hurts. 
