im new to this group. i have 20 years clean from cocaine, meth and weed.
everyone has a reason they started using. reasons may range from painful upbringing to simply trying it and liking it.
the problem is, trying to convince yourself there is a better way to deal with pain and hurtful issues. we become comfortable with our new found "relief". we realize the relief is only temporary and we long for that "feeling" time and time again. its kind of like relying on someone we know to keep us happy or feeling good. when that person isnt around anymore ... we become angry because we are unaware of any other way to achieve happiness ... even if its only for a short period of time.
fear of dealing with life with out some kind of proven relief scares us. yes, when you get so far on your quest for constant relief ... we become dependent on only one thing .... getting what we need. funny thing is .... even the solid addict gets tired of having to live that way, but it becomes harder and harder to stop.
we trust our drug of choice ... even though we know its killing us. we are not stupid. theres not one addict alive that hasnt been without their drug of choice ... even for awhile. we all know that that is like. we know the feeling. we know ...WE WILL DO WHAT IT TAKES TO GET IT. it calls ... we answer. we get bolder EVERY TIME it calls.
we are now fulfilling not a want but a NEED.
just the short period of time we are out ... puts us through hell. we simply cant survive with out our relief. what we dont realize is .... we are not claiming relief from our issues anymore ... we are seeking relief from our new found pain. drugs. we seek relief to ease the pain of BEING WITH OUT DRUGS.
by this time ... anything and any one simply doesnt mean a damn thing to us. we strive everyday to keep our drug supply going. one slip without ... could mean just about anything can or will happen.
always keep this in mind .... the more you need drugs ... the worse things WILL get. ppl just starting out dont think about such things. far to many ppl dont realize there is a great chance of ending up dead.
problem is ... they dont care. how to you make them care ? it is possible. ive seen it done. ive been there helping a friend of mine get through just that.
Great post! ALL of which is true btw. I'm a recovering heroin addict and been clean from it since 09/05/09 and if someone had tried to tell me that ten years later I'd be dead I prolly woulda given them the bird and laughed, which is prolly what I did. I did technically die from it, flatlined in the ambulance twice and thru my heroin haze I remember what I was thinkin when I shot up THAT much dope, and it was highly suicidal I couldn't take the dope anymore. I didn't have another way out(or so I thought), and if it weren't for my pit bull going batsh*t crazy after I nodded out and then stopped breathing, I WOULDN'T be here to tell my sordid story. I had scratch marks on my face and arms from her trying to get me to come to,, and to this day that dog gets whatever the hell she wants! But, that's one of those things that everyone has their "moment" and they see it for themselves and sometimes that doesn't even make believers out of them.
Post edited by: fleabag73, at: 04/01/2012 05:22 AM
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