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02/27/2012 04:03 AM

2/26-3/3 Adventures or Struggles

anamore
anamore  
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I feel like Monday always sets a tone to the week. I like to start on a positive note, but for some Mondays are hard. So we are here to listen to your struggles. We are here to hold your hand as you go through a hard time. Or is this a week of adventures, good or bad, make us laugh or cry, join us and tell us what kind of week you are having?
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02/27/2012 08:05 AM
jenny1978
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Well, I had oral surgery on the 16th and I am still having problems. They think a small piece of bone has gotten pushed down into the outer side of my gums. It hurts like hell. I have pain meds that I can take, but they won't work because I am on the Suboxone. Well, they won't work as well. They do actual take the edge off occasionally, but I still feel the pain. But I'm going to get this taken care of one way or another!

02/27/2012 08:53 AM
anamore
anamore  
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Oh that kind of pain is so annoying, that happened to my bf and he had to have surgery to get the piece of bone removed. Just take it one day at a time, well you know that, we are here to pray you get better soon, This must be hard,

02/27/2012 11:21 AM
steve571
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Monday Monday.....for me all days basically seem the same.work has slowed down to few hours here and there causing money woes but that is nothing new it would seem for feels like story of my life but it don't get me down for i'm grateful today for acceptance.for I accept the fact that i'm a alcoholic and a drug addict for the day I forget i'm a addict is the day I'll go back to active addiction just as the day I forget i'm a alcoholic Is the day I'll go back to drinking and these things will destroy my life, my world, my very being.today I don't have to use and drink to be able to live life on lives terms and for this i'm truly grateful.

02/27/2012 09:43 PM
loli
 
Posts: 252
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Mondays could be a drag going back to work....or a blessing (or escape) depending what kind of weekend you had. It could also just be another day like Steve said. My son has been "clean" at least from meth since a bit before Chirstmas. I know he has been drinking & doing pot though not every day...but I know its just a matter of time...its like waiting for a bomb to explode any moment. He has severe emotional problems besides his addiciton problems, so living with him is hard even when he is not using. Over all this Monday was ok, a hectic day at work keeps my mind bussy until its time to face the uncerainty of what awaits at home.

02/28/2012 01:21 PM
anamore
anamore  
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Now Tuesday go alittle better, you get set into the routine,

Loli are you taking your son to therapy, it sounds like he should be getting some kind of councelling, sometimes the problems are beyond us and we have to reach out for help, We are here for you, to help you stay strong for your son. But it does sound like he needs help now.


02/28/2012 10:15 PM
loli
 
Posts: 252
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He does need help...I known it for years. He is a damaged soul and would not seek any help. He deals with his issues by being angry at us and blaming us for all his failures. Drugs are a way for him to cope I guess...which just makes it a vicious circle between his paranoid drug induced personality or his self loathing, inconsiderate, hate the world personality when he is "clean". Listening to everyones stories and struggles does help a lot to put in perspective our situation. Some of us are worse than others, some better...but we are all in the same boat and trying to deal as best we can with our lives and Im so thankful for finding this web site. Thank you Ana.

02/29/2012 01:31 PM
anamore
anamore  
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Wednesday, over the hump day, is that what's its called, 1/2 way to the weekend. So who is having a hard week, let us hear from you!

Loli, I am so sorry for all the pain your are suffering, it is hard to see your child suffer, no matter how old they get they are still your child. Its so sad when you say he is a damaged soul, he has to admit that he has a problem and that he is using drugs to cope w/ life. There are other more healthy ways to cope w/ life. It is very hard, you are right when you say we are all in the same boat, we all are suffering or have suffered the pain drug addiction causes,

Do you think your son would agree to try rehab or therapy, what about taking him to a NA meeting. I know I was so afraid to go, I kept putting it off, saying I don't need the meetings, but I was just so scared. Finally my sister and daughter took me to my first meeting, after that I would go by myself, I would be very anxious but once I got there I calmed down, He doesn't have to talk, just listen to what the others are saying until he feels more comfortable. If he refuses to admit he has a problem, I am sorry that there is nothing you can do, just trying to get through to him that he needs help. You can try NA-alnon, they help you deal with the problem. We are here to help and support you, to keep you strong. Remember its very important that you take care of yourself, that come first, so that when your son does hit bottom you will be there for him. He will need your support. Having a support group while in recovery is very important,

But you are not there yet, you have to make him see that what he is doing only leads to jail or death. He is controlled by the drug, even if he stopped meth he is still using. He is running away from his problems by using drugs. He needs to stop and listen to what his heart is telling him, that he needs help, he can't do it alone. Addicts are very afraid to admit that, I know I was in denial for years. while my family just watched and worried but all I saw was my drugs, they controlled my every move.

Please stay in touch and we will try and get you through this, hopefully he will agree to go to rehab, maybe if you catch him at a vulnerable moment.


03/01/2012 12:19 AM
loli
 
Posts: 252
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Wednesday has been ok so far...he is still hasn't used meth...so I think, just refusing to do anything other than staying at home, surf the net, watch tv, play music,bringing friends to hang out while we are out working, etc Whenever I bring the subject about rehab, NA meetings, therapy, finding a job so he does something with his life & doesn't feel as lonley, helping out around the house...he either ignores me or starts demanding for us to provide him with a car, legal assistance so he can get his drivers licence back, you name it! We are not rich & are struggling financialy. He wont go to NA meetings because he refuses to take public transportation, when we've offered to take him when we get home from work he says no, he hates the kind of people around our city neighborhoods & wants to go to a different city. He is 28 years old but refuses to assume any responsability or accept he has a problem, according to him we are the "a/holes" that keep nagging at him or refuse to help him out!!?? He does have a very twisted perception of reality. I do feel we've done our part to create this by enabling him & not allowing him to become a responsible adult..this has gone for so many years and has gotten so out of hand that I'm sure he feels there is no other way for him...and we just feel trapped and like prisoners in our own home. I wish he would accept he has a problem and reach out to dig himself out of that darkness...but as I've learned from all of you, he won't do it until he is ready. And we have been playing our enablers roll for so long that we don't even know where to start...but we are slowly learning to let go. Thank you Ana for you caring and support.

03/01/2012 05:34 AM
anamore
anamore  
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Loli, it does sound like you are enabling him way too much, you are making it easy for him to do nothing, to have no job, and to just hang w/ his friends. He has all these excuses, he sounds like he is spoiled and thinks mom and dad will always take care of all his needs, He is 28 yrs old and old enough to take responsibility of his own life. I can't believe he demands that you get him a car, now that is asking too much. He won't take public transportation. He has to feel the consequences of what he is doing and not have mommy and daddy always there fixing his problems, giving him money.

Maybe you should start charging him rent and $$ for food. Tell him he has to get a job and pay for his own legal assistance. If he wants a car, he has to get it w/o your help, legally or financially. How does he get $$ to get drugs. I know its hard, its your little boy, in your heart he will always be your little boy but you are also enabling him, he will never learn how to stand on his own if you keep fixing all his problems. He has to learn how to do that himself. He has to feel the pain his drug abuse is causing. Tough love they call it and I am sorry to say but he sounds like he is spoiled and couldn't make it on his own. Its time for him to grow up, he is 28 yrs old, what does he want to do w/ his life, live w/ mommy and daddy forever.

You need to sit down w/ your husband and get a plan together where he has to take on more responsibilities for his life, no more just hanging out, he needs to work. Don't give him any money.

I know it may sound harsh, I am sorry, I hate saying it, but he needs tough love, he is 28 yrs old, and he doesn't know how to survive w/o mom and dad,

We are here to help you, to keep you strong on disciplinning him, no more fixing his problems, let him fix them. I know its hard but you have to do it if you want to save his life. We are here to support you and give you the strength you need, you see the problem now do something before its too late....

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