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02/19/2012 09:48 PM

Parents of Drug Addicted Children

MagPie513
Posts: 4
New Member

I am wondering if anybody can share about their stories about young adult or teen addicts who got hooked on prescription drugs. Enablers in the family, Co-depenece and how everybody is dealing with the addiction. Interventions. Detox, Rehab Sober Living Anything would be helpful but I am interested in late teens and young adults particularly girls/women.

Thanks so much [img]

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02/20/2012 07:44 AM
anamore
anamore  
Posts: 4082
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I'm an Advocate

Hi Magpie, welcome to the group, at the moment I am not dealing w/ a teenager or young adult, my daughter is in her 30s. but I can relate. I know when my daughter was a teenager, I was very afraid that she would get into drugs, since I was a drug addict and alcoholic, her father died from it. Her high school was the place to get any drug you wanted. I knew her friends where trying drugs, and I realized if I told her not to use she would not listen due to peer pressure, What I did, was teach her about addiction, what it does to you and your family. She was also there when I hit bottom hard, she experienced first hand how drugs and alcohol destroy a person and family. So I really don't have a story to tell just maybe some advice.

Do you have a daughter that is experiementing w/ drugs or is already addicted. Intervention is good when you have a support system in place, other family members that will stand w/ you. the addicts needs to admit that she has a problem and that is very hard to do, especially if there are enablers around her. Everyone deals with it differently, depending on the drug, the situation, people involved. Ususally the addict is in denial and if you approach them when they are aeeking the drug they may not listen, the only thing on their mind is getting the drug. You need to catch them at a moment when they feel overwhelmed and afraid of the control the drug has over them. Deep down they know, even if they deny it to you, they know they have a problem but to face it is very threatening, its a step into the unknown, so they are very afraid to go there.

Maybe if you can give me more information, I can help you deal w/ the problem, even if its just to hold your hand while you do what needs to be done, to save this person from the evils of addiction,

You can also send me a PM, there are many people here to support you, they may be slow in getting back to you, but they are here.


02/20/2012 07:55 AM
MagPie513
Posts: 4
New Member

My daughter has been through Detox, Rehab and is now successfully living in a "sober living" environment and doing well. She got hooked on prescription drugs and the enabler in the family is my husband and her father. My daughter and I are dealing successfully with the issues but he is still unwilling to see his own role in this triangle but I have stopped focusing on his issues and looking to the future. I cannot change him anymore than I can my daughter. She is doing that for herself and I am supporting her. I am changing the things that In need to change and she is supporting me.

I want to begin to think about a program of early intervention for girls who get hooked up with legal prescription drugs for legitimate medical reasons and do not see the danger in addiction. I appreciate your response and hope you and your daughter are doing well.

Best regards,

Magpie

Post edited by: MagPie513, at: 02/20/2012 07:56 AM


02/20/2012 08:11 AM
anamore
anamore  
Posts: 4082
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I'm an Advocate

Magpie, you sound like you are a strong person, you have successfully helped your daughter to lead a clean life, My daughter was there for me, she is a therapist, she support me and pushed me into recovery, she was tough, I couldn't get over her, she knew when I tried, she would yell mom stop acting like an addict, After I hit bottom and almost died, she was there to push me into going to NA and AA meetings, she would be after me to find a therapist. I remember once that I snuck a drink during a family gathering and she caught me, the look of pain on her face is something I never want to see again. After that I kept that look in my mind and fought to reach recovery, I never wanted to hurt her like that again.

I think your idea about early intervention is a great idea, I grew up in the 60s and 70s, then drugs was a way of life, there was not alot of support for drug addiction, Even when I got addicted I knew very little about addiction, I remember the only thing that was talked about was heroin addiction and since I never did any, I didn't think I had a problem. I was so very wrong. Early intervention and education on addiction is very important, especially if the person is taking the drug for medical reasons.

It sounds like you are well informed on the subject of addiction, Your support in this group is very appreciated.

I agree w/ you, let your husband deal w/ his own issues, you take care of yourself and your daughter. If there is anything I can do to help you. just let me know.


01/13/2013 05:07 PM
loveforher
Posts: 1
New Member

I don't know who can help with our problem. My daughter is 30yrs old and is addicted to prescription drugs and possibly more. She recently confessed that she was shooting heroin approximately 10yrs ago but managed to quit cold turkey by herself. She said she hid the heroin addiction by being a "functional" addict.

She has also mentioned that she has smoked crack as recently as this summer claiming it was recreational. She lived with a crack head for over a year and my son and I finally convinced her to leave him. Since crack is extremely addictive I don't understand how it can be recreational. I have so many questions. I need to make sense of this. I went over to see her one day when she wouldn't answer her phone, she opened the door, her eyes rolling back in her head and could barely put together a sentence. I freaked out, but had to hold it inside because I was with my 87yr old mother. That image of her in the doorway will never leave. She ignores my calls and texts. She only contacts me with cash flow problems. She no longer holds a job, health insurance or a car (due to an accident). She needs help and I need to know what to do as a mom. I want to help her but I just don't know what to do. I tried to get advice from my brother and sister. One helped me with a couple of agency phone numbers and the other had nothing to say. I tried to tell them how serious the problem is but I can sense the I don't want to get involved attitude. I don't think I could do that to either of them.

My daughter is severely depressed and I am frightened that I will lose her. I wake up with this thought and go to bed with it every night.

Most of her problems were exacerbated by the fact that she was raped at 15yrs old and that's when she really went off the deep end. She was hospitalized almost immediately after the rape with a life threatening complication of an Aids cocktail given as a preventative to victims. She was hospitalized for 10 days. Then a year later she contracted spinal meningitis. Another scary ordeal. She became another person. She became disrespectful,unreliable,angry and disobeyed every rule we had. She was good at leading others to believe that she was okay.

I sent her away to a rehab for 30 days to get the emotional and any other help she may need. Her problems worsened. She was in the psych ward at the local hospital for ingesting pills. She was getting help as an outpatient too.

Between my prodding,tutors and driving her to a school for children with special needs, she did graduate. I was proud. I thought that this the beginning of a healthy life. She seemed to be optimistic. She had been drugging the whole time and I didn't realize it. I saw what I wanted to see.

Everyone thought she was fine. She was employed and rarely ever missed a day.


01/14/2013 11:42 AM
anamore
anamore  
Posts: 4082
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I'm an Advocate

I was also a functioning addict, but sooner or later you can't hide it anymore, your life goes out of control

The one thing you should not do, is to enable her, to clean up her messes and make it easier to use drugs, she needs to feel the consequences of her drug use, she needs to admit she has an addiction problem and seek help,

talk to her, see if you can get her to go to NA meetingw w/ you, she needs to discover what she is running away from, usually we get addicted because there is a problem we don't want to face or deal w/, so we hide behind drugs and alcohol, therapy or councelling is very important, having a support group is important for both of you, for her to help her stay clean and for you to keep you strong so that you can be there to help her and support her getting clean...

Does she admit she has a problem and has no control over her life or is she living in denial, she is manipulating you and letting you see only what she thinks she wants you to see and she wants to be free to continue doing drugs w/o answering to you or anyone else,

You need to read and educate all you can on addiction and how an addict acts, what he does, knowledge is power, as I like to say, the more you know the better you will be equipped to deal w/ her, w/o enabling her or fixing her problems,

She needs to stand on her own and take responsibility for her actions..You can come on here and find alot of support, to gain strength and knowledge about addiction, also see if there is a NA-alnon meeting nearby that you can go to, or even AA-alnon, addiction is the same if its drugs or alcohol, the important thing is to establish a suport system to help you stay strong and deal w/ her addiction problems,,..Coming here to this group is a good start, there are so many members suffering the same problem, we support and help each other, I hope to see you write back and join the discussions in the group...

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