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Lilah17 Posts: 87
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Thank you both. It's nice having somewhere to let things out. I tried talking to him today. We went for coffee but it didn't go well. Wanted to get together in a public place but that didn't seem to change anything. Im pretty frustrated right now to be honest. Feeling discouraged and just sad I guess. Oh well, at least I know where he stands now. He made that loud and clear. I feel almost stupid for saying this but I really don't know if i'll be able to just leave it at that. I'm afraid i'll go back and i know it's for the best that i dont
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anamore Posts: 3908
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Lilah, It can be very fustrating, addicts live in denial, they will not admit to the problem, it is too frightening to face the truth, that the drug controls you, You are so afraid to admit that because that would mean you would have to quit taking them and you can't imagine a life w/o the drugs, they are your safety net in this cold world. Concentrate on yourself and your baby, and pray that he will admit his problem soon, maybe once he sees the baby he might admit to his problem. But don't count on that, you need to make a life for yourself and your child and just hope he comes around, I am sorry I can't offer you hope that he will change, I just don't know, he has to do it, We are here for you, to keep you strong and take it one day at a time. My advice is purely personal. I am not a Doctor. Please do not take anything I say as medical advice or a diagnosis. |
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jenny1978 Posts: 2564
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Lilah, I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. I really hope that he decides to get help. You do need to concentrate on you and your baby, but I DO understand where you are coming from when you say that you don't know if you can just leave it at that. It is hard to just let someone go when you love them so much. Even if they are acting the way he is. I know it is hard, but you have to do this. I agree with ana inthat maybe after he actually sees yall's baby, he will realize his problem and get help for it. Just pray about it and turn it over to God. It is really out of your hands and that's all you can do. Just have faith that God will take care of things. I'm not sure if you are a religious person or not, so if you aren't then you may not do that. I'm just giving my opinion and telling you what I would do. I truly want what is best for you and your baby. Good luck and keep us updated please. Feel free to message me if you want or need to talk. Jenny Diagnosed Bipolar 2005(FOUND OUT IN 2012 THAT I WAS MISDIAGNOSED),Recovering Addict,ADHD,
Anxiety Disorder, EBV, fibromyalgia, sporadic hemiplegic migraines, chronic fatigue syndrome
I am not a doctor. I give advice about things, but you should never take my advice over that you would get from your doctor. My advice is just what I have learned from my life experiences and is just my opinion.
"Regardless of who you are or what you have been, you can be what you want to be." ~W. Clement Stone
"In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy." ~Albert Clarke
"Believe in yourself and there will come a day when others have no choice but to believe with you." ~Cynthia Kersey
"Mary had a little lamb, she put it to the heater, but every time it turned around, it burned it's little peter." |
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Lilah17 Posts: 87
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Thank you both. Your right, I need to just concentrate on my daughter and myself. I hope he comes around once he see's her but i won't hold my breath. I hope one day he realizes that he's worth more than he thinks he is. I know that I could do it without him, i've known that from the start, I was half expecting him to leave when i told him im pregnant. I know being a single parent won't be easy but I know it's possible |
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anamore Posts: 3908
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Lilah how are you feeling, do you feel the baby kicking, I don't know how far along you are but you should feel the kicking, My daughter would start every night when I tried to go to sleep, it was like no time to sleep mom, you got a baby to take care of, she was getting me ready for when she was born, It is such a beautiful experience giving birth to your child, I always said it was like a thunder bolt of love hitting you My advice is purely personal. I am not a Doctor. Please do not take anything I say as medical advice or a diagnosis. |
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Lilah17 Posts: 87
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I feel her kicking all the time, it's my favorite thing. Im 32 weeks. I think she'd trying to get me ready too, it's every night before i go to sleep and every morning right after i wake up that she is most active. I'm so excited to meet her |
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anamore Posts: 3908
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Lilah, that is such a beautiful moment, the 1st time you see your child, you think its the most beautiful thing in the world, eventhough they are all red and wrinkled.But all you feel is such love. I don't know how its done now a days, I remember I had a choice to go natural birth or w/ meds, I thought I would try the natural one and took classes with my husband. But the pain was so bad that I was screaming f*** this sh** and take your breathing and stick it up.... I need drugs, give me drugs. So after alot of screaming they did, but its funny once you see the baby, all that pain is forgotten, its like it never happened. Then you hold this beautiful baby that you have felt growing in you for so long, the love you feel is priceless, I am so excited for you.. this is a beautiful time, it will always be in your memories. Its just a shame her father won't be there, but maybe when he realizes what is really going on, he will get clean, To him its not a reality yet, You are the one that feels the baby growing inside you, kicking you, to him its not a reality yet just an abstract idea. So I will pray that he opens his eyes and will be a father to his child. But the most important thing is you, you take care of yourself, don't stress yourself out over him, he is not worth it. Just enjoy what is happening to you now, It sounds like you will have help in raising her, Are you still living at home, what about finances, don't mean to get too personal but you sound like all that is taken care of, Its hard enough being a single mon and even harder if you have no one there to help you. I hope you do have family or friends Post edited by: anamore, at: 02/29/2012 01:48 PM My advice is purely personal. I am not a Doctor. Please do not take anything I say as medical advice or a diagnosis. |
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Lilah17 Posts: 87
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I have been considering going natural and everyone tells me I'm crazy lol. I'm so excited to meet her though, the thought of the pain doesnt worry me anymore. I hope he comes around to it all too. I would love for her to grow up with her father in her life. I'm still living at home, and I will continue to until I can get a full time job and feel comfortable balancing raising her and working. I have some money saved up to take care of everything that is needed now and my family have been helping out a little financially as well. |
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