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12/14/2010 02:00 PM

Desprate to quit Morphine body cant handle anymore

Taylork
Taylork  
Posts: 4
New Member

Been on about 150 mg morphine for almost 6 years. Been a way of life for me, due to back pain from surgury. I got pain block shots in June, and got MRSA, everything changed got reactions to every antiobiotic they gave me, but kept taking them for months till my throat closed, as I juat wanted to get cured. Then got candida from all the prednisone and antibiotics, so had to go on more meds, not sure if the morphine makes me have aful ractions to eveything but eneded up very sick from that treatment. This past 6 months has been hell. Needed a spinal tap due to a pseudo tumor (fake tumor)and now suffering from tacardia (racing heart) severly low blood pressure and neuroligally probs (always feel like im gonna faint when i stand and walk. I developed muscle athrophy from staying in bed to much mayb? Even got some painfull bumps on my bones, droopy eyelids, vision goes blurry Were looking into somthing called Posterial Orthostatic Tacardia syndrome (a centreal nervous system disorder)Its hard to maintain balance, and heat, light ect makes it hard to brethe, gives me awful pains in my viens and sends my heart racing like crazy 128 beats per min, and gt severly flushed, ans muscle spasams everywhere, and weird twiches.

Anyway I am desprate to stop the morphine, as it is obvious my body cannot take any more drugs, seems everytime i take it I get flushed, headaches, worse vision, and pians in places I never had before, it helps my back pain but gives me other pains. I keep taking it as if I dont my heart goes nuts, and the withdrawl plus the back pain is unberrable. Before all this I was healthy and modeled, perhaps over worked due to the morphine, any how now I am a mess phisaclly, and I basiclly fel if I ever want to get back to somewhat good health I need to stop te morphine. I also recently stopped valium cold turky.

With POTS witch is prolly what I have now due to all the drug sensitivities and the fact that i kept taking all the meds tht effected my nervous system, you have to be cautious with any drug you take,. When I saw my doc I explained I would lke to stop, and he gave me a beta bloacker for the haert racing/palpatations. Ive been scared to take it that I will have a reaction and hurt my brain worse. I have awful pain in my mucles painfull to the touch in spots, and swelling, retaining water, migraines, sweating so much I dont have my heat on and its like 35 degrees! Also my viens are all huge (i always had baby viens) and I get pains in them somtimes shooting pains, And some of them turned into like callised viens (like hard n white covered)in my hand. ANd as I said muscle atrophy, and very weak and fragile, get hurt so easily. Even if I hold a pen it makes an imprint and a bruise on my fingers. In the past few months I quit pot, ciggs, valium, prdnisone, but I just cant seem to get off the morphine, please any suggestions would be greatly appriaciated, not sure if anyone went thru any of this, its very complicated, but I feel this is my only chance at getting betterSad

Any advise would be greatly appriacated

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12/14/2010 06:52 PM
anamore
anamore  
Posts: 4081
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I'm an Advocate

You do have alot of medical problems, I had some of them too, from abusing drugs and alochol.

I want to help you, guide you to get off of the morphine, I would like to think about it alittle more because as you said it is complicated.

Welcome to the group and we are here to help you and support you.

I will go into more detail soon, I really want to help.

You are not alone, you will meet other members that are willing to support you.

Welcome


12/15/2010 08:20 AM
jenny1978
jenny1978  
Posts: 2599
VIP Member

Hello and welcome. My name is Jenny. I am tapering myself off of Suboxone right now because I was addicted to pain pills for a really long time. Mainly oxycontin and methadone, diuladid, morphine, anything really. Even heroin. I think you need to taper yourself off of it slowly. You could even get a dr to put you on suboxone to help you detox off of it, but suboxone is still an opiate, but it does help with the withdrawals and the cravings. I'm here if you need me. PM me anytime!

12/15/2010 12:41 PM
Taylork
Taylork  
Posts: 4
New Member

I want to thank you guys for the replies, sorry such a complicated situation, its nice to know theres a place where people care. Been off the morphine since yesterday at 11 am so a bit over 24 hrs .. o what hell..

Took th ebeta blockers, dont thinks there doing much, but I remain hopefull. Behind my eyes and head hurts like hell still, one eye is pretty swollon today, and has like broken blood vessels in it.Still have awful painfull dialiate viens, and numb feet forehead Sad

It seriously feels like too much blood is going to my head when I lay flat, still hard to see and eyelids very droopy, its always one swollon more then the other. I showed my doc friend (prolly the only doc i trust) he said it looks like gangleon or somthing like that. I wish I knew what the hell was going on with my self, just so I cant atleast limit my suffering, trying to sleep the withdrawl off, but I cant sleep for weeks, guess I should be gratefull I am still alive after all of this, but somtimes what doesent kill you mkaes you sufferSad And thank you girls again

ANyway that senough venting for now, glad to be here Smile


12/15/2010 02:47 PM
anamore
anamore  
Posts: 4081
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I'm an Advocate

Did you get all these medical problem because of the meds they put you on, I am alittle confused, you have so many medical problems. I can relate to it since I have alot of medical problems. I caused my own problems by drinking too much and doing pain meds. I ended up in the hospital, in a coma. They said I had pancreatitis which causes alot of abdominal problems. the pancreas doesn't work so it doesn't send the enzymes to my stomach to digest the food. I have to take meds for that. I am on about 12 meds daily so that my stomach properly digests the food,

I had the muscle atrophy because I was in a coma for about a month, I didn't realize I couldn't walk. That was such a weird feeling, my legs were like jello but I had physical therapy and slowly started to walk again, I try and do muscle strengthening exercises, I would be in Shop Rite and go down to the lowest shelf on the bottom and I couldn't stand up, that was so embarassing. It has taken me a long time to recover from my physical problems, now I just got to take care of myself. I am telling you all this to let you know that I know what you are going through, oh and I have a pseudo cyst on my liver, dr says it looks like a cyst, has the effects of a cyst but is not a cyst and they are not doing anything about it, they act like its no problem, maybe it isn't but I wish someone would explain it to me.

You said that you are on the morphine because of back pain problems. but you have alot of physical problems, if you stop taking the morphine will you be able to live w/ the pain or did you just took them sfter surgery and just never stopped. Do you know if you will have chronic pain.

I think going cold turkey might be dangerous for you because of your other health issues. I agree w/ Jenny try going on Suboxone, We have a few members that stopped taking opiates by going on suboxone, and then when you feel stronger, when the morphine is out of your body you can decide what to do, to stay on suboxone or taper down. Now this is only my opinion, but staying on suboxone for awhile can help you calm down mentally and physically, but get a dr advice since you have issues w/ your heart and I don't know if there could be a reaction. Another way you can go is to taper down off the morphine, take a lower dose every month, you will be more sick, feeling those nasty detox side effects. You have to see which way is best for you, going cold turkey can be dangerous and you will be very sick untill the drug is out of your system. I would definitely talk to a dr 1st because of your other medical problems

I also understand how it feels when you don't know exactly what is causing all these symptoms, I went to all these specialist, had every test out there and all the dr said the same thing, your pancreas is damaged and it can not be repaired, you have to live w/ it and to go to pain management.

The dr are as confused as you are and giving you meds to treat the symptoms and not looking for the cause. At least that is how it sounds to me, I could be wrong. I just want to stress the fact again that what I am writing to you is only my opinion from my experiences.

It must be so hard w/ all those medical problems, you have to keep fighting the pain and discomfort constantly, You can come on here and vent as much as you want, We are here for you, to help you regain your strength, to not let you give up, to hold your hand.

Go see your dr, one that you trust and ask him about suboxone, because then the withdrawal side effects will begin you will be very sick, nausea and vomiting, hot and cold flashes, depression, anxiety and that is only some of the side effects, It effects each one differently, depending on how much you were doing, for how long, your overall health, so its hard to say exactly what you will be feeling, If you want I can write down the list for you of all the side effects that are likely to happen. What is MRSA.

Do you have a support system, a husband or bf, family and friends that can help you. I think Jenny gave you great advice and we are here to help you get through this, vent, cry scream, release all your pain, physical and mental. You are not alone, we will be ther for you.


12/16/2010 03:29 PM
Taylork
Taylork  
Posts: 4
New Member

Thanks so much! Yes the medical problems purly started in June when I got the mrsa and had to go on all the drugs (mrsa is a methacillian resistantu staph infection) that is very smart and becomes resistant to regular antibiotics so you have to treat agressivly. Thats why they kept me on them even tho I was getting heart palpataions evry few minutes, and many neuroligacl probs, pseudo tumor (wondering if I may have on again, too bad my neuologist dont give a shit or I would have had another spinal tap already the migranes in my head and eye pressure/broken eye blood vessels/vision probs/ and eye pain)But I wonderi since all my viens are dialated maybe it too much blood going to my head IDK, its happened to people with POTS so I dont know. Pots is an autonomnia disease o the central nervous system caused by toxicity or radiation ect.

Wish I knew!

Yes you are right the docs are only treating my sysmptoms and barly that. I am suffering so much the withdrawl is just a topper. Ive been tapering the morphine for about a month and this is day 3 with no morphine, takin the beta blocker to slow the heart still, as without morphine it will get even higher then it is and that too high, it also helps with the flushing.

I am scared to try any more drugs, as I am too sensitive to all of them now, afraid to even take advil for the pain.

Yes I wil be in alot of pain in my spine, but I am desprate to get healthy again , and I know after 6 years on morphine, that is why I got sick, every year I would have some probs like kidney infection ect. I was always tired but over worked with caffine pills to keep me going and too many at that.

ANy how my body is paying for all that now, I know wht you mean legs like jello i said the same thing! even my fingers, are litterly jello, I write and the pen leaves an imprint and a bruise, Also all my bone are swelled with knots and wird white bumps( doc said its some kind of cells cominh to the surfact ou of the bone, and skin.

ANy how I am detrmined not to suffer, as I am now yes I do have a husband who is very nice and helpfull, once a week he makes me get out of the house for dinner ect, just wish he didnt work all day!

Anyway do you know any one that did this without meds?

Do you know how long withdrawl lasts from about 150 mg's day?

I hope it gets better each day, I am very sick, even got like th eflu or somthing, and damn pain everywhere, I hope its all worth it, nd I get healthy again after all of this, really miss havng a normal life before all thse drugs ruined it. I am praying its nots pots as that is permanent, but I am rfusing any test to rule out a clot in the heart as I really dont thin I am at risk at 25, and I dont need any more radiation or radioactive material via iv! I just want my body to detox all this toxic stuff.

TY so much!


12/17/2010 06:03 AM
jenny1978
jenny1978  
Posts: 2599
VIP Member

I know people that did it without meds, but it's hard to do. You will probably have withdrawals for about two weeks and then stillnot feel like yourself for possibly several months. I know this sounds horrible, but you will feel so much better when all these drugs are out of your system. Just be careful and try to ween yourself down slowly if possible.

12/17/2010 11:46 AM
anamore
anamore  
Posts: 4081
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

You must be really having a hard time, the flu symptoms is not the flu, it is side effects of detoxing off of morphine, you may also get abdominal problems like vomiting, diarrhea, nausea, aches and pains, anxiety depression. You are a strong person and I believe you can go through it. It is good to have the support of your husband, that support will help you to keep going, so stay strong.

My bf has been by my side for the past 10 years, that is how long I have been suffering w/ pancreatitis and chronic pain, all caused by drug use.

Your problems sound alot more serious, be very careful what meds you take. You will be very sick for several weeks and then like Jenny said it will be awhile until you will feel normal, Going cold turkey is the hardest way to stop taking a drug you are addicted to. You have to be strong.

Just take it day by day, just try to get through the present. I know keeping a journal helped me in the beginning of my recovery. You forget alot and feel like there is no improvement, you just feel so sick. Writing down the symptoms and how you are feeling will help you get through it. You can write to us and we will be here to support you.

I can feel your pain, I was there but your problems sounds so much more complicated.

Are you going to therapy or did you consider it, It may help you, to release all your pain and suffering.

Stay strong and remember we are here for you, to support you and help you to keep fighting. Once your body is clean of all the drugs, you will feel so much better, Do you have to stay on the beta blocker even after you detox off of the morphine. Are there other meds that you have to take for your problems.

My stomach doesn't digest food because the pancreas doesn't release the enzymes needed to digest the food, so I have to take enzymes and other meds, I take about 12 meds a day, all because of my abdominal problems and chronic pain.

We empathize w/ you and we are here for you, you can also send me a PM. Keep us updated on how you are feeling. We are here to help you

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