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03/19/2010 08:06 PM

My handcuffed Daughter

Blecan
 
Posts: 70
Member

My 17-year-old daughter just got arrested the police call me to pick her up in the back of the police car she had Adderall in her purse you know I just don't know how I'm going to deal with this now ,this is her second arrest,her mother is in prison and

Im just a single father trying to get by.seeing her go down that road is painfully to much to take I cryed in front of the aresting offercers.she's in her room screaming at me the one who's given her everything.

I know I need to do something but what?it's breaking my heart.

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03/21/2010 05:43 PM
will44
 
Posts: 118
Member

I am sorry to hear that.I dont have kids so its hard for me to relate in some senses.But I know how I was as a 17 year old and I was just getting inot drugs at the time.Just think of one thing.She is 17,just a kid and your the parent still.If you choose to send her to get some help you dont have alot of time left before she is an adult and you wont be able to do anything.You dont want to look back and wish you had tried while you could have.No matter how mad she gets as a teen,just like me,she will understand as she gets better and older.I would say do all in your power to get her some help while you still are able to be in charge.I wish my parents were ALOT harder on me and sent me off to one of those 6 month wilderness things.Maybe I wouldnt have been a drug user for 20 years if they had.I wouldve hated them then but I would have thanked them when I got out clean and sober with a new mind set.

03/21/2010 08:17 PM
sadmom99
sadmom99  
Posts: 331
Member
I'm an Advocate

blecan..I am a mom...my daughter came into my life when she was 11, she is now 23. Her bio mom basically dumped her and never returned to get her.

How's the relationship between mom and daughter? Does your daughter talk to a counselor or is she part of a support group for teens with moms in prison? You might see if there are any support groups for single dads too.

What was the circumstances for the police finding the adderall on your daughter? Does she have to go to court for this arrest? Did she tell you where she got the adderall?

Besides finding her some counseling I would take her to some NA meetings and literally take her and go in with her. This way she can see other addicts and hear their stories and struggles and you can also hear and learn what to look for. Take away the cell phone and car keys and don't give her any money. In other words take away anything that she can use to get more adderall or anything else. If she drives to school or work make her take the bus. If she doesn't work, have her start volunteering somewhere where she will have her free time occuppied. Call her doctor and ask her for advice and then schedule an appt for her and have her drug tested to see if she is using other drugs. Don't tell her you are doing this beforehand.

Just do anything and everything you can think of to distance her from these friends and drugs now because once she turns 18 (and tell her this too) she will be legally an adult and legally you will no longer have to help her, no ifs and or buts. Plus once she is 18 her arrests will be harsher and jail will be a completely different situation - worse! If she hasn't been in jail yet, take her to one and let her see it first hand.

Unfortunately adderall is a very popular drug for teens now and personally, I think it is a gateway drug for many of them; looking back I honestly can say now, it was for my daughter who is now addicted to heroin. I haven't seen her in a year. I wish I could go back and do everything different with my daughter but I'm not sure it would have made a difference but I would like to have atleast tried.

I wish you much luck and please keep posting and let us know what is happening and how you and your daughter are doing. Feel free to PM me anytime. Stay strong dad -- Smile


03/21/2010 09:05 PM
Blecan
 
Posts: 70
Member

Thank you for your support I  found she had pills after all from a friend who said to  hold them for her,the police searched her and her friend and  she was one holding so she's  the one in trouble. However she claims she didn' t take it I don't know if I' m going to believe her or not she's restricted for now.it's up to the DA if they are going to make us go to court. am I' m going to do other things try to ge t her counseling and take away all priv ileges I think she' s coming around and understanding seeing h er mother in prison and her older siste r in rehab and her father clean and doing well.I told her what my father always said to me Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are"I will always support her but I Must keep a close eye on her.

03/21/2010 09:12 PM
sadmom99
sadmom99  
Posts: 331
Member
I'm an Advocate

Sounds like you are doing everything you can do. How are YOU? You sure have your hands full. Remember to take care of you too!! take care

03/22/2010 05:13 AM
BrandiJo
 
Posts: 1584
Senior Member

i remember being that same way at her age. i was a wild child. my parents TRIED to help. but they didnt stick with it. they basically allowed me to walk all over them. dont let your daughter do that to you. i hurt my parents really bad and i am sorry for that. but it took me awhile to realize all of the wrongs i did. keep the communitaction going. and punish her! i was grounded until i turned 18! LOL litterly. i decided that i just WASNT going to come home one night. then BAM that was all she wrote. good luck and i am sorry for all that you have to go through.!

03/22/2010 09:08 AM
Yvonne802
Yvonne802  
Posts: 2055
VIP Member

Oh Blecan I am so sorry this is happening to both you and your daughter. I am the mother of a recovering addict so I know your pain. We never in our wildest dreams think our precious daughters would go down this road. I wish I had something life changing to say but I don't. Just hang in there.

03/22/2010 09:16 AM
Yvonne802
Yvonne802  
Posts: 2055
VIP Member

It could be they were her friends but you have to be open to the idea that she was lying. Thats what people who use do, they lie about it. At least thats my experience.
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