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01/15/2013 12:53 PM

Prayer in Drug Addiction/Recovery

mem7418

I can remember this clear as if it were yesterday, 1984 a fellow worker came up to me with a Blue AA book and said "Hey Ray you might want to look at this" " If you want to talk more give me a holler", well I just about took that book and hit him in the back of the head as he was leaving.

That was almost 30 years ago...Boy had I wished that I read that book, or even paged through it .

In the throws of addiction no addict recognizes what is going on around him and if he does, he ignores it .

Prayer in recovery is much like that to me.....

At first it was all around me ..Church,Grandma,Sunday school omg I wanted to run like there was no tomorrow.

I escaped it for awhile , then I got married and there it was again right in my face, my ex was a born-again christian and I was an addict...Great combo......... Well I will just take care of this .......

...I will get divorced..Even though I had to hear a sermon from my parents...I got over it fast.

After countless small jail terms and rehabs...In-patient, out-patient,inside-out patient(Wink ) just seeing if you are reading correctly...lol

Everything in those places was God...God this, God that, turn your will over to him, admit to God,ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.....

Oh ya...That was going to happen, my buddies and I were doing each others 5th step so we could get out of rehab.

I really do not know when it happened ,maybe I was in jail , maybe in the hospital all shot up doing something I never thought I would do...................Pray

I DID NOT KNOW WHAT I WAS EVEN PRAYING FOR................

I never really knew how to pray except in Sunday school we all bowed our heads and clasps our hands together..Maybe that will work. Ermm

Well I am here to tell you SOMETHING must have happened because I am still here.

I still used, but I prayed all the time for God to lift my addiction from my shoulders to please step into my life because I could not handle nor deal with my life as it was any more.

It wasn't anything big at first, maybe something small but I noticed it right away...... I looked up some guys I knew from C/A, I started to hang out in sober places with sober people.

My friends started to leave me (using friends), people who would never talk to me suddenly started to say hello and ask how I was doing.

But I still was trying to get over, praying for soberity and still trying to use and control it ...Like that ever worked..lol

I used to live in the suburbs of Cleveland ,Ohio and have lived in Richmond VA. as well, I now live in a small farming community of about 2000 pop.

The Amish whom I am friends with as they live just 10 minutes away and we always see each other in town for some reason like me alot.

They park their buggies at my farm during these week -end yard sales and stuff and they bring me vegetables an apples all the time.

I was driving to one of their homes one day( ya...I have been INSIDE their homes...cool) and I saw this sign by a church.

It said...

"You can not pray straight ...And live crooked"

It hit me like a sledge hammer I almost pulled off the road, this was exactly what I had been doing.......

Living my life like a fool but praying to God to make everything right.

To make a long story short.......

He helps me in all things, I pray to him about everything at all kind of times. It is kind of like a walking zen type thing.

And it works, it helps me through the day, through the hours, through the moments........

I never knew how to pray and an old man told me to just "throw your car keys under the bed"......

And when your on your knees...............PRAY!

God Bless,

Ray

Post edited by: rkhavana, at: 01/15/2013 01:43 PM

Post edited by: rkhavana, at: 01/15/2013 01:44 PM

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01/16/2013 02:19 PM
anamore
anamore  
Posts: 4081
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I'm an Advocate

Ray,

I really liked your ending, about throwing the keys under the bed,

well anyway, the way I see it my relationship w/ God is a very personal thing, I do not go to church, or attend any organized religion but that does not mean I don't believe in God. I have read the bible several times, the new version, the old version, I think they call it St James version is too much of the old language and it can get confusing, During recovery it really helped me find the strength to go on, I read several books on how to have a relationship w/ God. I pray using my own word, I was brought up in a catholic ukrainian church and their bible is a mix of ukrainian and greek or is it latin, what ever, I don't understand most of it so I just prayed to God telling him about my problems and to lead to toward a solution,

My favorite book was Conversation w/ God and also Freindship w/ God by Neale Donald walsch, I highly recommend his books, If you get a chance look them over,,they helped me alot,,

In my church we were taught to fear God, that is so wrong,,,

God is love,

Thanks for sharing your views w/ us, I think its very important to have or begin to have a relationship w/ God and to know when we are feel so alone and sad, God is there for us...

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