Do They Feel Love?

I feel so terrible in my relationship. I obviously am no where near being his number one. Meth occupies spots 1-infinity.

I have no clue where i stand with him.

Anybody have any thoughts?

It is not a healthy relationship and as long as you are with someone that is using, you will always take a backseat to their addiction.

I think you do know where you stand with him since you said that meth occupies spots one thru infinity. The good news is that once you are out of denial and see his addiction for what it is - you can start taking care of yourself.

There were plenty of people who helped keep me "sick" by taking care of me when I was active in addiction. The best thing that ever happened to me was when everyone dropped me like a bad habit and I lost it all. It was only then I was able to stop using.

I am from Manitoba, Canada. The re-hab centers here are few and far between. To get quality treatment you basicaly have to be an adolescent or a native. Compared to other provinces here, our wait list for free treatment is about 10 months. Out on the coasts.. you can go to a facility and they will accept you the same day. I find our lack of help appalling.

I think that sddicts have feelings, they are just buried beneath whatever they are using. They usually do drugs or alcohol to cover up feelings they don't want to feel, like shame, guilt, or hurt. They do love but it isn't a true love. It is masked by the drug. Most don't love themselves and have a difficult time knowing what "real love" is.

You have to figure out what you want out of life. What is going to make you happy and feel good about yourself? What are you willing to put up with? What are you willing to settle for? Does he want help? If he does, he will do anything to get it.

I hope that your able to find a way to take care of yourself. You can PM me anytime.

I do'nt really know what I want out of life, but i know that i have been getting what i dont want. I am contemplating leaving.. Just not quite there yet.

I feel that I am such a terrible person. I want to hurt him like he has hurt me. He has.. killed my spirit..taken away my hope. I want to punish him. I feel Gods frown upon me.

I know how you feel in wanting him to hurt and feel as bad as he made you feel. It is pretty natural to hold resentments towards others. That is why AA and other groups concentrate on "letting go" of resentment. It will kill a persons inner-self if they don't and drive them back into addiction.

He isn't worth the time and energy to do that. It will only end up hurting you and then you will feel bad for doing it. You will have guilt and maybe shameful feelings. You don't need that.

You are worth so much more than that. You deserve better and will get better when you start sticking up for yourself and taking charge of your life. Life is way to short to not be happy and not doing the things that we want.

I spent many years in unhealthy relationships and am looking at the one I'm in now. It started out wonderful but has been very unloving in the past 2 years. Ever since I became sick. I sat him down and told him exactly what I was missing and wanted out of our relationship. I pointed out what had changed and how I wanted it to be different. He responded with what he wanted and told me his point of view. We made a plan to mkae it better. So far it is working. I'm not going to settle for less than what I want out of a relationship or life. I'm not saying that we don't have troubles or that I get everything I want either. We communicate with each other. It is a two way relationship.

I do hope that you will do some journaling and maybe see a counselor to help you figure out what you want and how to make a plan to get it. You deserve to be happy, loved and cared about. Don't waste your time on revenge, it will only hurt you more. Don't let him kill your spirit....TAKE IT BACK!!! I'm here if you ever need to talk.