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wagst5
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I cant believe I have even gotten to this point that I have allowed someone into my life that could be a user, and worse, that I allow him to stay when I am questioning it.... Just curious if anyone has any info on what to look for when someone is using heroin. My BF has admitted he used to be an addict, but has not used in almost two years, but was a heavy pot smoker. Since we have been together, I have not allowed him to do that because he is staying in my house, and I refuse to put up with it since I have kids. But now, I'm beginning to wonder if he isnt using heroin again. We had an incident the other night when he apparently thought I was sleeping, then disappeared down my basement, and when I went to look for him, he was hiding there, then said he went to get a drink, and heard noise and thought it was my daughter, and he didnt want her to see him in his boxers. ????? But then he got real defensive when I asked what he was doing down there, really hostile, and his pupils were like pin pricks, and his face was twitching. Do the home drug tests specifically test for heroin? ~tracy |
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mommyofsixFriend2U
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Hi Tracy, You can buy drug tests at a pharmacy and they will have ones that can tell you all different types of drugs that they may be taking. There is a guide on the side of the test that will tell you exactly what it is. They usually cost under 20 dollars. Signs of heroin use: Dry mouth, droopy apperance, alternately wakeful and drowsy, disorentation, poor mental functioning, nausea, constricted pupils, lying/deception, shallow breathing, hostility towards others, needle marks...if shooting up, runny nose....if snorting, slurred speech, lack of motivation, eyes appear "lost" or have a far away look, and drug paraphernalia around the house. If he is using, it would show up in one of those tests. I know that there are ways to cheat the test, so I would be in the room when he takes it. Why do you keep second guessing yourself? You know that he is using something! I hope that this helps you find what you're looking for. You may want to ask in the heroin addiction group too. They may have more information than I do. Best wishes to you and your family! Take care,Your friend,Chris Your Friend, Chris |
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amy_red
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Hi Tracey, I am sorry to hear about your situation. i have to agree with Chris here, follow your instinct and intution. You know in your heart the answer to the question. I ignored my intution for two years regarding my husbands drug use, and to this day it is one of my biggest regrets. Please take care of yourself, Amy
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PerfectlyImperfect
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ok 1. there is no such thing as "used to be an addict." once an addict always an addict. my bf is an addict, heroin was his choice of drugs among the many other drugs and alcohol as well. 2, if you think he's using he probably is. only you can make that decision to live with it. I know how you feel when you can't believe you let someone into your heart, your home, your life. i have too. it's a long hard road especially if they are actively using. only you can know how much you'll take and when it's enough it's enough. you live on your terms not anyone else's. Good luck & stay strong. |
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bejeweled
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You don't need a drug test. If you did you wouldn't be posting on this forum. I think you already know the answer. Protect yourself and your kids. He needs to go. I wouldn't even consider a relationship with him if he has less then a full year of sobriety in NA meetings. For you I would suggest alanon meetings. Take care of yourself. An addict that is active in there addiction will do anything to fuel it and that can put you in harms way. You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen
Do or do not. There is no try. -YODA |
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wagst5
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I already know what has been said here, and PI, you are absolutely right when you say that I dont want to believe that someone that I have let into my heart/home, and especially around my most treasured beings, is an addict. I think I want someone to tell me that I am overreacting, and I know that is not the case. My gut has proved me right on so many occasions, this one is no different. I think I just feel the disappointment in myself, that I allowed such a situation to happen. That I wasnt smart enough in the beginning, when he said "I used to be....." to see that as a big red flag. Oh well, live and learn I guess..... ~tracy |
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bejeweled
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I know that feeling well unfortunately. What is more frustrating is when you meet someone else and think you've learned your lesson and SURPRISE they're a loser too. LOL. Not really that funny, but you know what I mean. Always trust your gut. And at least you realized it now and can protect yourself. You are not in denial. So many people are. That sometimes is half the battle. I was happy to see your post. You have hope for a better future. There are a ton of people on this site a lone that just don't get it.........  You are going to be just fine.You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen
Do or do not. There is no try. -YODA
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wagst5
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Bejeweled~ You are so funny....and so sobering sometimes It makes me wonder, when I know I am a smart person, why I get into such stupid situations??? The answer is out there.....I just need to find it. Thank God for places like this...... ~tracy |
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mommyofsixFriend2U
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Try not to be so hard on yourself. You trusted in a person and got the bad end of the deal. Addicts are great manipulators and con-artists. Now that you know better, you have to do better. You know that he is using and that he isn't what you want in your life. Everyone has made a mistake or two in their life.....even me!!! Look into your past, and even your childhood, to find out why you pick these types of people in your life. I have made that mistake more than once. I chose abusive, unavailable men to share my home. I felt ashamed and guilty for letting these guys into my home with my children. I went to counseling and figured out why I chose these men and how to change my way of thinking. It has helped me alot. I'm glad you're finially seeing this situation and doing something about it. Hang in there, it will get better. Take care. Your Friend, Chris |
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wagst5
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Hey Chris, you bring up an interesting point.....why I pick losers to bring into my home. I'd be interested in hearing (if you want to share) why you were choosing these types of people. I am clueless. And how did you change your way of thinking? I could use a lesson or two in that You sound like you havent been doing well lately...everything ok? ~tracy |
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