Domestic Violence Online Support Group

It has been awhile since we heard from you.Are you okay?How is your daughter and grandchild?Just want you to know I am thinking of you.

Lanna

Abbeyp,I want to remind you that no matter how dark things may seem that there is still hope for your daughter.I left my own abuser after ten long years.If there was hope for me I know without a doubt that there is hope for anyone.So no matter what happens do not give up.Keep the lines of communication open.And remember that we care about you and are here for you.We never get tired of supporting you.I never forget anyone who posts here.My prayers are always with you and your daughter.That she reaches out for help soon and finds peace in her life.

HUGS.Lanna

Post edited by: Lanna, at: 01/20/2012 01:10 PM

I too have a daughter who's been in an abusive relationship. My grandson will be 1 yr next month. While she can have free room and board with me, she chooses for her and her son to live at the abusers grandmothers house while he's in jail for VOP of his d/v charges. I'm really frustrated because the court system here has sentenced him to probation on both domestic violence convictions. I understand what she's going through right now, because I was there 20 something years ago. This consumes my thoughts most days. Not sure what else to do.

kim519,Encourage your daughter to make a safety plan and take the mosaic threat accessment test.Tell her "Just in case things do not work out as you are hoping."You will find the links to do these things two things by clicking on "general & support" with black push pins in them.These two things may save your daughters life.Keep the lines of communication open.Let her know that you love her and are always there to help her if she needs you.I understand the frustration that goes along with the cycle of abuse.It IS frustrating to watch someone you love return to someone that hurts them over and over.Get the book "Why does he do that?Inside the minds of angry controlling men."by Lundy Bancroft.You will find the book very helpful.It is available at most libraries,bookstores and from amazon.com.Do not give up.You may be the only lifeline left to your child in the end.

HUGS.Lanna

abbeyp,I am just glad she is communicating with you.Even sporadically.That is good news despite that you would like it to be more.I am glad you are not playing along with her idea that all is well with her abuser.I do not blame you one bit for that and I think it's good that you are grounded in reality for her on that issue.Stay the course and leave those lines of communication open.Don't let her ever forget that she is loved and you are concerned for her.Don't give up and please remember to take good care of yourself too.

Lanna

I totally agree with Lanna. You are on the right track. She needs to see you are there for her. However, not going to play his games and lies. Secrets are the power they use against us.

Happy Valentines Day to you Abbey.Do something nice for yourself.You deserve it.Never forget that we care about you.You are not alone.

HUGS.Lanna

abbey,I am so happy you got to spent time with your grandkids.I am hoping and praying that this trend continues for their sake and yours.

HUGS.Lanna