Domestic Violence Online Support Group

So I didn't talk much to him yesterday. a few email responses all with very formal short responses.

Last night... all night he emailed me. I woke up to 8 emails from him about how he loves me, we are perfect for each other, how its driving him crazy not knowing what im doing or thinking. he even said he was having an anxiety attack because im not there with him. and now i have to add a couple things to the mosaic assessment test because he said stuff like "i've worked my whole life for you and if you're not with me then whats the point? it doesn't seem worth it."

this sounds to me like hints toward suicide if im not apart of his life.

my god! i told him i was taking a big step back from us, and needed my space and he sends out mass emails.... can we say obsessed and clingy??

if a woman did this to a man he'd run as fast as he could in the opposite direction!!

correction... 9 emails... one to my facebook. wow.

Katymay,

That is a sign of his obsession towards you mine use to say things like he would kill himself if he couldnt have me. They will say and use tactic to get what they want

Mary

Mine did attempt to kill himself. He stole his moms meds from her heart lung transplant. She found him on the basement floor. This of course was my fault. He pushed by abusing and pulled by sweet talking me. The longer i ignored both, the worse he got. Proving i had made the right choice. This attempt was his choice to make. It is not your job to care take him. You and your children are ALWAYS first. If a man fits into your life choices and path then wonderful. Not threats, fear, or lies. If you must lie for them-they are doing something wrong. Making you lie for them is another slap in the face. They are not admitting the harm they have done to you. PLEASE do not let him guilt you. Make a list of all the things he has done to hurt you, and your family. Read it until you are angry. You deserve to be. It will make you stronger.

Traceyv,

You are so right. When I first left my abuser I put up sticky notes up with positive things about myself, like I deserve to be loved, I am a great person and I read them daily. It kept me positive and when I was down I, would write why I left and all he did to me. This helped me get strong.

Mary

Wow, I REALLY like those ideas thank you guys! I will do that!

Since his constant emails this morning i have decided to not have any contact with him for the next couple of days. I have found that if i tell myself i wont have contact wth him again ever- i fail and i miss him enough to break that vow. so i figure i need baby steps. and if it gets easier after a couple days then ill move to another day or more. i think your ideas will be VERY helpful. I appreciate it a lot!

Thank you!

Good for you- Think of the New Year. Not New Years eve. You can see who you want , go where you want... You can put things where you want without someone breathing down your neck. Or grabbing you by it. Tonight will be tough with the holiday. But one night is not worth your life. You can start fresh. It gets easier each day, as you said. With each piece of freedom, with peace and quiet you get stronger. Draw YOUR line in the sand. Let NO one cross your rules. Do not touch me, yell at me... They only do that to put you down, make themselves feel bigger. Pathetic.YOU GO GIRL! HAPPY NEW YEAR! The WHOLE year.

Katymay,

Im glad to help. I know it helped me alot im also here if you ever want to talk. I like your idea of baby steps you have to do whats best for you. I also do baby steps with almost everything especially now that im in a chair it took a long time to realize i cant do what i use to. I will wake up with good intentions on wanting to get things done then when im not able to due to pain or not feeling good i get discouraged. Now i say this is what i would like to do and if it happens great if not its okay.

Hugs Mary

I love the post it notes idea. I just had a notebook. I just may make some of these for my girls at the shelter.

Traceyv,

They really helped me alot everytime i would see a note (i placed them around the house) i would read it out loud. The more i said it the more i believed it. I also did things to pamper myself like get my nails done or just paint my nails, soak in a tub just somthing for me. When i first left him i put up notes of what he did and said to me around the house also and when i would see them i would get so mad it helped me remember why i left.

Hugs Mary